Anger to homicidal thoughts

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Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#1
I would like to know how many people get so angry so quickly that they just want to kill the person they're angry at? When it can take days to settle down. The anger not displayed openly but felt inside and just about controlled. Conversations carried on inside your head sometimes making it worse because you get more worked up, even though nothing has really been said.

Or taking things said to you so personally you fly off the handle and get angry/emotional, maybe react by getting incredibly drunk, or self harming.

Not being able to let things go that have got to you, carrying out all around and ruminating, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.

But not necessarily being this way all the time? Can it be a sign of depression, or something else?
 
Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#3
Thanks Lu xx
Bumping this to see if anyone can relate
 
Hopeful313

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#4
I would like to know how many people get so angry so quickly that they just want to kill the person they're angry at? When it can take days to settle down. The anger not displayed openly but felt inside and just about controlled. Conversations carried on inside your head sometimes making it worse because you get more worked up, even though nothing has really been said.

Or taking things said to you so personally you fly off the handle and get angry/emotional, maybe react by getting incredibly drunk, or self harming.

Not being able to let things go that have got to you, carrying out all around and ruminating, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.

But not necessarily being this way all the time? Can it be a sign of depression, or something else?
Sorry to hear about your struggle. It’s a good sign that you noticed that this is a problem and you are seeking help and answers.

It could very well be depression. Do you have anger management problems? If those thoughts are bothering you, it could be intrusive thoughts.

I know exactly how you feel. I had that happen to me while having depression and anxiety. It’s very scary. It’s like you get irritated and agitated mixed with anger. It gets even worst when you keep the pressure in and not vent.

You need to see a specialist as soon as possible. Take preventative measures and avoid any triggers. It’s not good for your physical health. Anger can cause high blood pressure and diabetes.

I hope you feel better soon.
 
exyz

exyz

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#5
Yes, can relate to this very much. I can't write too much at the moment Ftf as tired now. but several reasons.
1.) Side effect of medication, sort of stretches how you are feeling into a land where you would not usually go.
2) When you are in a situation which you can't really get out of, and its a bad situation, and you resent the person(s) you see as the cause of it/reason why you aren't free. Sort of the opposite side of the coin if you like to suicidal ideation? Not that you wish you were not there, but you wish someone else were not there, and thinking about how.

When I used to help people who were bullied or harassed at work it was a common thing that they talked about. What they would like to do to the bully if they could. Sometimes they day dreamed sometimes, night dreamed about it. I think it was an attempt to feel a bit of power about what felt a pretty useless situation.

Dunno if that makes any sense?
 
Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#6
Thanks both. I'm not actually asking after myself, it's about somebody else, so it's hard to be precise as to the actual feelings/thoughts involved. I just know if something is set off, lately it's a run in with kids school - nothing serious but it's been taken that way and got worked up over, the possibility of confrontation causes anxiety, maybe the anxiety leads to fear/anger reaction? Wanting to be left alone, yes other people causing a situation that you feel totally unnecessary and causing you stress, but an overreaction to it.

It's the ruminating that causes more problems, if already angry then other things said off the cuff are taken far too personally, reading into things that aren't there, paranoia of sorts, all leading to bad vibes all round, not good.

I've also noticed that when in a bad turn like the above he'll turn to watching/obsessing over current/recent beliefs as if trying to affirm and gain mental strength from it. This also leads to friction as preaching and insults are about.

My anger is the snap kind, explode then it's over. I don't understand this festering, self perpetuating anger, with highly violent thoughts, that can go on for days. I feel like it's a type of anxiety perhaps.
 
Hopeful313

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#7
Thanks both. I'm not actually asking after myself, it's about somebody else, so it's hard to be precise as to the actual feelings/thoughts involved. I just know if something is set off, lately it's a run in with kids school - nothing serious but it's been taken that way and got worked up over, the possibility of confrontation causes anxiety, maybe the anxiety leads to fear/anger reaction? Wanting to be left alone, yes other people causing a situation that you feel totally unnecessary and causing you stress, but an overreaction to it.

It's the ruminating that causes more problems, if already angry then other things said off the cuff are taken far too personally, reading into things that aren't there, paranoia of sorts, all leading to bad vibes all round, not good.

I've also noticed that when in a bad turn like the above he'll turn to watching/obsessing over current/recent beliefs as if trying to affirm and gain mental strength from it. This also leads to friction as preaching and insults are about.

My anger is the snap kind, explode then it's over. I don't understand this festering, self perpetuating anger, with highly violent thoughts, that can go on for days. I feel like it's a type of anxiety perhaps.
From what you wrote, it sounds like the person is going through lots of stress and he/she needs to be left alone. I can relate to what you described. This happened to me in mid November of last year. Any noise or disturbance by the kids running around and causing a commotion got on my nerves.

Anxiety and depression cause fear, anger, agitation and frustration. It’s too much to deal with MH problems and it takes its toll on the the sufferer.
 
Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#8
Look bro thats not Anxiety, thats just Anger. Play BattleBorn bro for ps4, it takes my mind off (temporary fix haha). Like what happened?
Ha, that's funny he said the other day that maybe playing all the violent video games is what made going straight to wanting to kill someone seem normal.
 
Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#9
That has nothing to do with games, guys and girls have thoughts like these, just dont really know how your situation happened, you need some back up though
This instance went a bit like so - daughter given short detention when she shouldn't have been, the teacher went against school policy even though daughter pointed it out (the second time this has happened). That stirred up all the anger eg. the school threatens parents with reports and fines if you don't follow their rules, yet they can do what they want.
I get that this makes a person pissed off, I would make a complaint etc, but I wouldn't want to literally kill people over it. He stewed for days, nearly pulled daughter out of school (which would have upset her) tried to get a meeting, ended up writing a letter breaking off any contract held with the school and their rules and fining the teacher. During this time, if you say the "wrong thing" you get your head bitten off too so have to tiptoe round the subject, makes things v uncomfortable.

That's just this instance, there's lots more in the last few years.
He has a hatred for the system, is anti-establishment, wants to be left alone in life - which I get! But he gets so bloody angry.
 
daffy

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#10
Is your friend getting any MH support or been diagnosed with anything. It could be that he needs anger management but all the same these thoughts could be leading up to a psychotic episode. Is he under a lot of stress at home/work. He does sound as if he needs some help before it gets out of hand. Try and reason with him to see a gp
 
Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#11
Hi daffy, he's not seen a doctor re mental health since I first met him 20yrs ago, he was under a pdoc at the time after drug addiction, suicidal attempts, general self destruction. He was always highly emotional, can't seem to handle perceived criticism well, low self esteem. I would say these days he has social anxiety, not helped by avoidance. He hasn't worked in nearly 9 years, so no work stress, but he does seem pretty stressed by life in general. He's changed his whole belief system quite recently, including a new belief in the Bible and God - although he's not religious. Previous things have all led up to this rather than it being sudden. I doubt I could get him to see a GP about anything. I just worry about what goes on in his head, but it's impossible to talk about anything.
 
exyz

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#12
Hello there FtF.
I wish that I had a friend around like you.
Agree with Daffy and others, he sounds stressed to hell and it is making him really unwell. I don't know what the answer is if he won't get help himself. It's worrying and it must be so difficult for you to listen yet not be able to really do anything.

Worried too about the effect it might have on the children, if his child is getting detentions, it might be the child's reaction to seeing father so angry.

It's tough on you too as he is unloading his stuff onto you and you are carrying this around on top of your own situation. It's possible the school might pick up on him and his behaviours and do it's own referral to social services on the family.
Blimey, it's a toughie.
 
Hopeful313

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#13
Being home all the time can cause all types of MH issues. He needs to go out and the best thing is to take a trip by himself. It will change behavior and get him away from stress for a bit.

You can also ask him kindly to leave kids matters to you and it will be your responsibility from now on. If he can’t do, I suggest that you take the kids out for the weekend and spend the whole weekend out sleeping over a relatives’ house.

I did that when I was angry. I told my wife that I needed to be left alone. I also told her it was hard for me to deal with kids appointments and school. My wife was very understanding and she accepted that. It really helped and eased my stress.
 
exyz

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#14
Hopeful,
They are not Funks children, they are the children of her friend.

The friend is unwell and it is child getting the detentions.:)

But a good point, has the friend a partner or is he a single parent, Funk?
 
Hopeful313

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#15
Hopeful,
They are not Funks children, they are the children of her friend.

The friend is unwell and it is child getting the detentions.:)

But a good point, has the friend a partner or is he a single parent, Funk?
Sorry, I got so mixed up. 🙂

Thanks for clarifying.
 
Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

Topcat (was FunkTheFear)

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#17
Sorry to mix you up more, but Hopeful is correct. I was trying to be generally vague but it's hard. It is husband I am asking about.
The detentions were for not having correct equipment, but shouldn't have been given.
I do worry what the school will think about his reactions too.
He gets out sometimes, we have a caravan in a field that he is working on, a friend is up there too so he goes and stays out some weekends. He wants us to sell our house and get out of "the system", buy land and live on it somewhere. That's one thing that's getting to him, that we haven't done that yet. Just expects me to jump on board with no clear plan, when I can't cope with it all just now.
It's as if every run in with, or even a conversation about any kind of officialdom just adds another layer of anger that we aren't living his dream "free of it" - although we won't be free, I'm sure if we start living on some land we will be fighting officials non stop, whether that's right or wrong, and I can't deal with living under that kind of stress!

(May have to ask for this thread to be deleted)
 
J

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#18
I would like to know how many people get so angry so quickly that they just want to kill the person they're angry at? When it can take days to settle down. The anger not displayed openly but felt inside and just about controlled. Conversations carried on inside your head sometimes making it worse because you get more worked up, even though nothing has really been said.

Or taking things said to you so personally you fly off the handle and get angry/emotional, maybe react by getting incredibly drunk, or self harming.

Not being able to let things go that have got to you, carrying out all around and ruminating, creating an uncomfortable atmosphere.

But not necessarily being this way all the time? Can it be a sign of depression, or something else?



You just described me. That's why I joined here today. You sound like me.
 

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