• Hi. It’s great to see you. Welcome!

    Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life. Amongst our membership there is a wealth of expertise that has been developed through having to deal with mental health issues.

    We are an actively moderated forum with a team of experienced moderators. We also have a specialist safety team that works extra hard to keep the forum safe for visitors and members.

    Register now to access many more features and forums!

anger, mania bullying

S

spindriftsarah

Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
5
My husband's personality has completely changed to an angry nasty person who says he feels nothing for me at all. He suffers from depression and anxiety ...I am not sure what an accurate diagnosis is for him. I am his third wife. He has a tendency to shut down, I never knew how badly. He moved me to another country and now says he wants a divorce over and over, after 5 hours of being very close. He is nitpicking as to the reasons.

He has had an unfortunate combination of a bunny boiler malicious neighbor out to break us up ( a kid in their 20s, we are in our fifties). He started to get overwhelmed when we began to foster our grandson who is 7 and his mom has MH issues and she is forever suicidal as is this neighbor and he feels she let him and the kid down as she isn't even communicating with the child anymore.....

The neighbors MO is to befriend and divide. I recently found out she pulled the same on neighbors in their sixties. His Zoloft or certraline was doubled as this is all happening and he seems manic and has had a total personality change. Noone who knows us can believe this. I am at the end of my immigration to another country, a lot of money was spent by us both and I am broke as a result of a few things including that. I am being harassed by this girl thru text so have blocked her and went to police station and filed a report. I am too intimidated of her to even send them to the door next door. she is always ominous and threatening and she is known to police. She is a joke but i have to take it seriously as she has been very violent before to her partner and recently been arrested for the same.

I don't want to just up and go as I don't believe he really wants this i think he has cracked under the pressure and believes his feelings are real and valid and justified. i have tried to curb any criticism to avoid being blamed for whatever happens, I'll be damned but I probably will anyway. I am severely depressed now and terrified for my marriage and him. I love him very much. Is it ok to phone his doc? I won't be going in with him if he ever goes back for his followup and need him to see what he won't be telling him. Please help me. I really really can't cry or hold it in anymore than i am....ptsd triggers going mad...help
 
H

hongli

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 26, 2018
Messages
170
Location
Vancouver
Hey, it sounds like a very difficult situation for you to be in, but I also just want to say how sincere you appear to be to the people around you. I think you demonstrated courage several times during the encounters you have described, and I think you have handled things quite well. Reaching the point that you have reached seems to me pretty expected, since there has been a lot going on and a human body can only take so much before getting overwhelmed.

We are here for you, just to listen at the very least, so please share with us your thoughts. :) I am by no means an expert, but I want to just ask a couple general questions: What's going on in your mind? What are your fears and insecurities? What are the things that you want to do, and why are you doing/not doing them?
 
T

Twokiwisandabanana

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 23, 2016
Messages
811
Hello im sorry to hear your going for a difficult time
He moved you to a different country?
That sounds very isolated.
 
S

spindriftsarah

Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
5
Thanks for responding

Well I went out for the day. He said maybe he'd join me and spent the entire morning sat on the doorstep talking to the manipulator. I got brave, dressed, a little makeup, asked if he was going. He said no for their benefit, asked me what i was even talking about. I tried to be brave, said Seeyah...and off i went to the busstop....as I walked away down the street, I hear the neighbor say RUN BITCH RUN...and he does nothing to defend me. I wanted to go back and claw her eyes out but I waited at the bus. She stood at the corner of her house like guarding territory twice until the bus came.

I met a good friend, had a snack and some wine by the sea, and kept a doctors appointment that I was terrified to make, for myself..as I had to tell her all and that is no easy feat when you know so much is on the line if you say the wrong thing.

Our surgery only does same day appts as they are overloaded. Because I got in to see a doctor, she made him an appt for Friday. I don't feel I overstepped, he should be thankful, it was no easy feat there. We will see if he keeps the appointment.

Yes it is isolating but we had each other and that was isolating enough at times with no friends yet etc. Now I find myself always alone. So the last three days I have used my time wisely, meeting up with friends, getting a little something nice to eat for myself like a snack, and taking care of myself as much as I can...
 
S

spindriftsarah

Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
5
Thanks for responding

I will respond to these later on, I am super drained emotionally tonight. Thank you so much for giving a damn about me.
 
S

spindriftsarah

Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
5
Haven't had it in me

Haven't been able to do this much for a couple days. He went to the doc and they left him at 200 mg, say that its doing what it is supposed to do. Its fixing the social anxiety he's had for years but appears to have made him arrogant, unfeeling, insensitive. He has told me that he will not know if he can handle life with me until he has counselling so he can see how he feels with me...ok so he's someone else now, he has to see how i fit into that??? WTF i have been his wife for nearly 5 years, and first met him like nearly 20 years ago...will someone please tell me how someone can become someone else and treat me with like no respect and warn me how he is a changed man and he doesn't know what he wants? I am 4000 miles away from my kids. Why is life so fucking unfair? I am hurt beyond hope ...not even a guarantee of anything as far as how he feels about me. Nothing.....
 
S

spindriftsarah

Member
Joined
Jul 11, 2018
Messages
5
Thank you guys helping me to keep me going. You are part of what has me here for another day xoxoxox
 
Top