Anger is out of control

M

mikedrums

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I really hate myself. I can't control my anger no matter what I do. I'm on medication and do counseling, but my anger is so bad that it doesn't seem to matter. I really don't know what to do. All I do is cause damage to my house, myself, and my property. I would literally do anything to be someone else. Idk why I'm even posting anything on here, but I'm just so lost as to what to do.
 
Hopeful313

Hopeful313

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Hi Mike,

Sorry to hear about your trouble with anger . I used to be like for no apparent reason. You need to get enough sleep and get out of the house for a bit. I got over it by running or walking every night on the trail behind my house.

Lack of sleep can make you feel groggy and mad. Waking up early and going out to get fresh air and listening to wild birds is very calming and relaxing.

If you get angry while standing up, sitting down will help or even laying down.

I hope you feel better soon.
 
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mikedrums

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Hi Mike,

Sorry to hear about your trouble with anger . I used to be like for no apparent reason. You need to get enough sleep and get out of the house for a bit. I got over it by running or walking every night on the trail behind my house.

Lack of sleep can make you feel groggy and mad. Waking up early and going out to get fresh air and listening to wild birds is very calming and relaxing.

If you get angry while standing up, sitting down will help or even laying down.

I hope you feel better soon.
Thank you. My sleep has always been iffy. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I take walks every day and exercise and I also play the drums. I even have a punching bag. I do a lot of good stress relieving activities, but anger comes on so fast for me that when it does I have almost no time to react. It's really hard.
 
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Zoe1

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if your stress relieving techniques are not enough
there may be some underlying emotions beneath the anger

like grief or fears or whatever
that also need to be released
 
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Jules5

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I like what Zoe said something else might be going on. I sure hate how you are feeling as I have been there. Not good for you. My therapist just showed me a anger metaphor. Anger being on top of all the emotions I am feeling when I become angry. She said just tell yourself what you are feeling-then use I statements to help alleviate the anger-and resolution is important know what you are doing. Takes a quick 3 seconds to identify this stuff Give yourself a break. Lots of love and hugs Jules
 
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Zoe1

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how do you mean I statements ?
can you give an example ?
 
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Jules5

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Sure can. I feel anger Why? Are you sad frustrated hurt stressed. Identify why you are angry. Then I do not feel this is right how can I cope with this. Do not use "you" statements. Just I statements. You are in control of your feelings Ie anger. No one else can take away what you are feeling it is up to you.

I can not make you mad for example-I am just a person on the forum. Do not take things so seriously. It is I not anything else that makes you feel the way you do. Others can not take that control from you "I." Lots of understanding to you and hugs Jules
 
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Zoe1

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I think some people have ' triggers '
which are feelings they havent worked on yet

other people can trigger them
so sometimes we have to be careful I think

:grouphug:
 
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mikedrums

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Sure can. I feel anger Why? Are you sad frustrated hurt stressed. Identify why you are angry. Then I do not feel this is right how can I cope with this. Do not use "you" statements. Just I statements. You are in control of your feelings Ie anger. No one else can take away what you are feeling it is up to you.

I can not make you mad for example-I am just a person on the forum. Do not take things so seriously. It is I not anything else that makes you feel the way you do. Others can not take that control from you "I." Lots of understanding to you and hugs Jules
So you're asking yourself why you're feeling an emotion, but making it more personal by using I? Does it work for really quick anger though? My biggest issue is that when my anger comes on I have almost no time to react and calm myself down.
 
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mikedrums

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I think some people have ' triggers '
which are feelings they havent worked on yet

other people can trigger them
so sometimes we have to be careful I think

:grouphug:
Triggers are the main thing actually. Everyone has something or multiple things that trigger a certain emotion. Example: Idiot driver cuts you off and you experience anger. And let's say you live in a busy area so this happens a lot. Things like that are common triggers. We always have to be careful, but it's very tough sometimes.
 
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Zoe1

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yes I get that alot, not on the roads
as I dont drive
but people are rude and annoying on a regular basis
and then I go home to just myself on my own
so that there is nobody to debrief with

then I feel like I'm bothering people if I phone

this forum gives me another outlet
where I can open up the underlying feelings
 
Someoldguy

Someoldguy

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Have any of you ever knocked a tree with a 14" trunk down with an 8lb sledgehammer?

That is anger.
 
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Girl interupted

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Depression is anger turned inwards.

Eventually our bodies reach capacity and it leaks outwards.

Work wth your therapist on the cause of the depression.

When you start feeling angry, write down what seems to be causing it. Over time this journal will be key to identifying triggers and managing them better.
 
Someoldguy

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So the last time I turned that anger outwards, I got arrested.

And would you believe my therapist was not interested in posting my bail?
 
Warrior

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I really hate myself. I can't control my anger no matter what I do. I'm on medication and do counseling, but my anger is so bad that it doesn't seem to matter. I really don't know what to do. All I do is cause damage to my house, myself, and my property. I would literally do anything to be someone else. Idk why I'm even posting anything on here, but I'm just so lost as to what to do.
Oh Mike been down this route myself over the years and it's only been about the last 8yrs I stopped banging my head into walls as I get pressure headaches with mine plus did the counselling lark and that didn't help and to this day i'm hot headed.

I was told by my last psychiatric doc I saw that counselling is the last route, some benefit some don't and I was one of them but I must admit I've been able to learn to control my outbursts with hitting with help from my hubby but i'm still quick fuelled to what I may take offensive to.

Haven't you got anyone close who can help you :hug:
 
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mikedrums

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Oh Mike been down this route myself over the years and it's only been about the last 8yrs I stopped banging my head into walls as I get pressure headaches with mine plus did the counselling lark and that didn't help and to this day i'm hot headed.

I was told by my last psychiatric doc I saw that counselling is the last route, some benefit some don't and I was one of them but I must admit I've been able to learn to control my outbursts with hitting with help from my hubby but i'm still quick fuelled to what I may take offensive to.

Haven't you got anyone close who can help you :hug:
I went through a period where I would repeatedly hit my head with the palm of my hand and it would weird people out and make them want to stay away from me. Unfortunately people are very ignorant to mental health issues. My friends and family try to help, but it's really all the same generic advice and I appreciate the sentiment but those things don't work. I've learned to come up with my own ways and take what my psychiatrist and therapist say and use that information to help myself in any way I can. It's just hard though because any time I go through a period where I'm doing well I'll have an anger episode and it feels like my progress just stops.
 

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