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An attempt to explain why I started hearing voices.

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Akardy

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 4, 2018
Messages
53
This is going to rant a bit, I'm always interested in peoples responses but for the most part I'm just writing this to make it all a bit clearer.

First the background; I have fibromyalgia, which hurts a lot and severely limits my ability to get out, take part on physical activity or have much of a social life. It's get worse in the last year or two, which I've recently found out was probably due to a vitamin D deficiency. I've also been smoking a lot of weed and taking increasing amounts of codeine whilst this has been going on....part pain relief, part stress relief and part boredom relief. On top of that I've had bad anxiety problems, mostly social in nature but around three years ago now I had what amounted to nervous breakdown...no psychosis, but overwhelming acute anxiety for around two months.

The Trigger; Having new neighbours and in particular hearing them have sex....this was real, other people heard it...but I think this is when I started hallucinating because I started thinking it was happening all the time. I wrote a note asking them to be a little quieter at night so I could sleep as I wasn't very well. Never got any type of response but pretty soon after started thinking I could hearing them talking about me.

And....that's it basically, my anxiety about it grew...it became more constant, I've seriously believed what I was hearing was real, that they were spying on me, had hacked my phone and computer could somehow see everything I was doing. But I've been in a room hundreds of times thinking I could hear them and the other person in the room couldn't. Maybe I do sometimes hear my neighbours talking, but I doubt it's very often about me really and I could never realistic be able to hear them clearly. My anxiety about it is often triggered by real sounds....people moving about, a car door slamming outside which I convince myself is my neighbour kicking the wall.

And my voices never really claim to be much of anything else...just angry neighbours, I mostly hear them at home...but sometimes whilst outside faintly, sometimes when I've stayed at my dads. It's certainly a kind of psychotic anxiety that's linked to place, but I'm pretty sure if I just moved (that's the main demand I hear from them, that I move out) without addressing the issue it'd end up just as bad there. There's two voices, one male one female...the female one generally quite kind and supportive, the male one relentlessly nasty, angry, stupid, manipulative. Basically I've come to see him as the embodiment of everything I hate in the world.

Wow, ok, so that's my story, well done if you read it all. I've stopped smoking weed, I'm cutting down the codeine with a view to coming off it...bit worried about what that'll do to my pain levels but probably a good idea. Will be seeing my doctor again soon and hopefully getting some therapy, and hopefully some anti psychotic meds of some sort but we'll see.

If anyone wants to comment on anything or share their stories I promise I'll read it too!
 
Poopy Doll

Poopy Doll

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 13, 2015
Messages
11,502
Location
Fort Lauderdale, Florida, USA
Akardy, I'd think twice about getting on anti psychotic meds. More trouble.

I had fibromyalgia too. It came from a med, depakote. While I had the fibromyalgia, we heard a doctor on the radio telling people about Malic Acid for the fibro. We got malic acid at the GNC store. I took the highest dose and in a week my pain was at least fifty percent less. We obtained literature on how it works but I have lost those papers and have forgotten the science.

I knew a woman who had the fibromyalgia and I told her how the malic acid helped me but she felt she had to be punished for living a Bikers life. She wouldn't try it.

And some people I met said they got their fibromyalgia from anti depressants. Think about it. Did anyone ever hear of fibromyalgia before the day and age of Big Pharmaceuticals ??

So I hope you get some malic acid and if your health food store doesn't have it, maybe they can order it or you can google it on line and order it in the mail. It pains me to hear you are stuck on codeine.
 
M

Mary26

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Joined
Feb 28, 2018
Messages
170
Location
USA
Hi Akardy and Welcome!
I wonder if it would be helpful to bake some cookies, bring them over to your neighbors and introduce yourself. Because even if they're not very nice, they will be if you if you make the gesture and maybe it will calm your thoughts. Anyway, hello!
 
Mr.NiceGuy

Mr.NiceGuy

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 12, 2016
Messages
447
One thing to notice about voices is that their dialogue is limited to cynnical thoughts about you and words that cross your mind. A human has never acted as a voice to another person's thoughts. If you could then you would have gained information about another person this way at some point in your life which you haven't. To believe others can hear all of your thoughts is impossible. Try this trick when your hearing voices, turn on fan or maybe music and attempt to create your own voluntary voices, once your good at the art of creating voices you can hear as clear as the others that are involuntary, you can tell calmly scream at them to shut the hell up. They will respond differently to this then if you think angrily at them.
Another trick is to record a gyroscope, which may be like a camera lens for your balance system and any activity that goes on around you with voices. Then use techniques of ear whistling and voluntary voices to chase them back into place.
 
A

Akardy

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 4, 2018
Messages
53
Thank you all for your replies! I don't think my neighbours are even my neighbours any more actually, I saw a different couple come out the house the other day. I do cook a lot at the moment as well, so maybe going around with some muffins some time and saying hello is a good idea.

And I'll talk to my doctor about Malic acid. I don't think Fibromyalgia is caused by anti depressants though. I think it's been around for ages but nobody knew what it was. It's supposed to past on the maternal line, my mums Gran was, according to family history, a very active busy women working on a farm, but when she entered her fifties dispute nothing being obvious physically wrong with her just kind of broke down. Withdrew from work and a social life, stayed in the house all the time ect. I think she had Fibromyalgia but nobody knew what it was.
 
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