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Am I weak? Should I confront them, or am I doing the right thing?

S

Strong

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
23
Ok so here we go...

At my job, a 'friend' was spreading rumours that me and my mate were 'seeing each other'. My boss, another 'friend' got involved: Telling me she knew who was spreading these rumours, couldn't tell me who (yet didn't do anything to help) but gave me a name of someone that 'knew all about it'.. This name confronted me in front of everyone and I defended myself by saying our boss had told me she knew all about it: Boss got in trouble, blamed me, despite what happened, no longer friends.

I didn't apologise. She had previously been involved in something on fb about me, and that time refused to speak to me until I approached her, even though I was innocent so this time I didn't even bother. One less friend down: Does it make me weak for not speaking to her? Or apologising?

Girl I was seeing, had manic problems with depression. Self harm in a previous relationship etc, me and her were fighting for a few weeks and by this I mean mostly, I spent the whole time defending myself. I finally started standing upto her, it was ended for the time being and she spent three hours on the phone, basically slating me. The next day shes sending me pics, and winding me up about a date shes being set up on, I don't fall for it and she keeps attempting to wind me up. The next day, I left a voicemail saying I thought she was being out of order, and she replies by saying because she defends me against her family, who say I am not a good person etc (don't know me) she has the right to do what she's doing. I decide I don't want to speak to her anymore, few days later she texts having a go again, never speak to her again etc, so the next morning I ring, ask her to please just talk to me and be civil, she says she can't. She's self harming etc, I say she needs help and I will tell her family if she doesn't: She attempts suicide, and I don't find out till the next day when her family tear me apart at work. I get blamed (ofc) and I am in shock etc and later on she texts me, saying I am 'only partly to blame'.... Was I weak to not reply? I haven't spoken to her in two months, I got back with my ex partner and decided to see how it goes. I have since had to call the police because her family were issuing death threats to me etc...

Name from before at work spreads around that I got this girl pregnant/disowned her so she attempted suicide. I don't confront her at work, but I do get managers involved and confront her out back and tell her it's way out of line to say stuff like that. She says because I went to a manager before, the first incident where my supervisor got in trouble, when it was 'true' (which it wasn't) that we were seeing each other, people 'don't like me' which isn't an excuse, am I weak to not confront people at work, and to stay professional? Or does that make me stronger than ever?

And does it make me weak, to smile at people, and be polite to them, when I know they're telling people not to speak to me. And blaming me for something that wasn't my fault?
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
Oh my! You've certainly been going through it. By the sounds of it, I would say you've done nothing wrong and have actually behaved professionally and quite admirably considering. I don't know that everybody would be able to show such self-restraint.

Sorry you've had a rough time of it. Just hold your head high and carry on with what you're doing.
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
I feel I should have added this...

Do you feel as though you need to clear the air and that you want to confront them but don't feel able to? Or are you happy leaving things as they are?
 
S

Strong

Member
Joined
Jan 16, 2014
Messages
23
Thank you, the girl i want to confront, i want to deal with her But obviously its been two months and it could be dangerous
 
Purple Chaos

Purple Chaos

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 23, 2014
Messages
1,079
You're welcome.

The girl you were seeing? I don't like to say it and obviously I don't even know her but she just sounds like big trouble. Both her and her family. If I was you, I would steer well clear and hope that she never initiates contact again. But then again, we're all different, aren't we? You have to do whatever feels right for you.

I hope things are easier at work etc for you now.
 
L

lisax

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
3
Sorry to hear that
 
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