• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Am I the only one?

BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Apr 14, 2015
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Location
England
Up until I was 5, I was right handed.
Ever since I've been left handed.
Something happened when I was five.
 
C

Christobel

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Welcome to the forum Brian. The obvious question is: do you know what happened. Was there some sort of trauma involved?
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Thank you!
Sort of?!
It was apparently like a 'Kunilundi experience', but not quite,
A member of a spuritual group i was with said it might be this,
So i when online and found someone who knows about these,
He said that it was a bit like one, but what happened to me wasn't, and i was far too young too experience this.
the only trauma is that I've always felt different, not fitting in with others, seeing, and knowing lots and lots of information i never understood.
lots of confusion.
i understand a lot more now.
But theres still a lot i need to know.
i will go into more detail tomorrow.
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
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Location
England
Hello.
its 1974.
a happy, go lucky, normal 5 year old.
not started school, yet.
(Can't remember the day, or date)
i'm standing in the kitchen,
Its a bright sunny day,
Light is streaming in through the window,
I'm in the kitchen with my dad,
When suddenly, with out warning,
Every atom and molicule is vibrating,
Shaking inside,
Can't move,
There feels like a large splinter is being pushed
into the back of my head,
As this splinter is pushed into my head,
A voice, not mine is speaking,
Calm,
Firm,
Not threatening,
"THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE
WORLD AROUND YOU".
then as suddenly as it started,
It stopped.
I wasn't scared never needed to be,
Never told anyone,
Didn't need too,
I knew,
No one would understand,
I've told people online,
But thats all,
1 year ago,
I told my partner,
As i've always known,
She didn't believe me.
Thats okay,
I've always been different.
Wouldn't want to be any thing else.
 
katya

katya

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Dec 4, 2013
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Location
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My ex used to be ambidextrous until a teacher told him he had to "pick one." Maybe it was your teachers' doing?
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Location
England
Nope!
I asked my mum about this,
She always blamed my dad,
Who is left handed.
I asked her resently,
about this,
And she said,
"That you had just stopped being right handed,
and started using your left hand, you couldn't seem
to do anything your right hand anymore, and this was just
before you started school."
 
T

Taffy

Guest
What was your Dad doing when/ before/after you got this sharp pain in your head? Serious question don't answer if you don't want to.:hug1:
Incidentally, I do believe you x
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Thats okay!
Thank you!
Making sandwiches, i think.
There was no physical, or mental pain,
During the 'incident',
Just my body, and eveything inside vibrating.
there is more to explain.
 
T

Taffy

Guest
Hi Brian, whatever happened then, as you say, its caused such a trauma for you to change the hand you use so much.
I come from a background where children had the bejasus beaten out of them by so called religious people for using the left hand.
So it doesn't seem to have been your experience.

It must have been scary for little Brian to have that happen. Do you still hear voices or was that the only time?
( forgot to say welcome... apologies :hug1:)
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Location
England
Hello!
No.
not scary.
never scared.
My parents are not in anyway religious.
my mum was quite strict,
Because my dad was mostly working or sleeping.
Bringing up 3 young boys, counldn't of been easy.
never been hit by my parents, unless we did someting wrong.
And never forced us to do anything we didn't want to do.
they never forced any beliefs, or racial hatred.

both are physic.

my incident,
I believe now,
Was a spiritual awakening.

But i still need to find out why?

I'll explain more tomorrow.
 
Kerome

Kerome

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Joined
Sep 29, 2013
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Location
Europe
Every atom and molicule is vibrating,
Shaking inside,
Can't move,
There feels like a large splinter is being pushed
into the back of my head,
As this splinter is pushed into my head,
A voice, not mine is speaking,
Calm,
Firm,
Not threatening,
"THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE
WORLD AROUND YOU".
then as suddenly as it started,
It stopped.
I wasn't scared never needed to be
my incident,
I believe now,
Was a spiritual awakening.

But i still need to find out why?
Well I think you may well be right. I have had an experience like it, and apart from the actual happening it also functioned as an opening of sorts, although for me it was not the head but a different energy that got opened, almost by accident in the middle of my first psychosis.

Your experience as you describe it seems ambiguous. On one level it is conveying a warning or an injunction, which can be the action of a friend, and on another level it is an intrusion into your space, which is not necessarily the action of a friend. Feeling the "vibration" is a classic mark of temporarily accessing a more advanced energy space.
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
3,942
Location
England
Thank you!
That makes me feel so much better.
its been hard,
Knowing that everybody isn't like you,
And that theres no one who would understand
Even if you did try to tell.
Always felt like i'm on the outside looking in.

we are on a small planet, in a big universe.
there is other life on other planets.
Death is not an end.
People hear what i've thought, not what i've said,
When i can't get the words to come out.
i've been in 11 incidents where i should not be here
Now typing this.
i've never been alone, even when i'm by my self.
i know that there is no male god,
I've never believed in churches,
Religion just confuses me so much.
I don't see my self better then anybody else.
i don't judge people.
somedays i just wish it would stop,
I wish people could just understand that what they
know is wrong.
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
3,942
Location
England
I've also been to a phyciatrist,
Last year things got really bad,
Dark,
Black,
Coundn't seem to do anything right.

I told him many things,
Sort of told him who i really was,
But i never told any of what i've posted on here.
When it was the last session,
He told me how to fix the paperwork,
So i could go back, and carry on with him,
Something he said, that really wasn't 'by the book'.
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

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Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
3,942
Location
England
I haven't been back.
don't intend too.
 
BrianHorlicks

BrianHorlicks

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 14, 2015
Messages
3,942
Location
England
How it feels to be me.
Imagine a swimming pool,
Everybody is in there having a great time,
i can't get in because i can't swim.
 
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