Am I suffering depression and should I see a therapist?

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ophsroses

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Apr 8, 2019
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Germany
Hi everyone,

I just made an account on this forum because I don't really know what to do at the moment.. I've done multiple tests online that suggests I might be suffering from depression and possibly OCD as well (not only tests but with reading about it it seems accurate).

Maybe if I talk a little bit about my situation and talk about my symptoms some of you could help me :)

I am living in another country than my family (I am in Germany for my studies and they are in Switzerland), I am living with my girlfriend (actually, ex girlfriend because she broke up with me 2 weeks ago, but we still live together). So we live together and we planned a USA road trip for the summer. I'm in a very difficult situation because I want to do this trip but at the same time I don't. I want to go back to my country but now that I started and I like my studies I want to finish them (I have 1.5 years to go). Also back home my parents are getting separated and this is also a difficult situation to deal with.

Since October I feel like suffering from mental health problems, but I couldn't identify what. I've been wanting to die at my worse moments, wasn't able to breathe properly and was just laying in a ball on the bathroom floor trying to calm down. But when I am "normal", I don't have suicidal thoughts and I have myself for those dark thoughts. This hasn't happen for some times but it did happen quite often a few months ago.
Now I feel totally emotionless.. Sometimes I have a rush of emotions and I will cry but at the moment it's just like I have no feelings anymore. I have a very difficult time being concentrated and studying anything, or even to focus on something. I also have memory loss, when watching a movie I often totally forget a scene and if I go back to watch it again, it's like my brain was totally off and I never saw that scene. Also if we have a fight with my gf, my brain seems to turn off, I don't listen and the next day I will totally forget about the topics of that fight (I guess my brain is doing this to protect me).

Other than that, I am usually a quite joyful and happy person, but lately I really feel like time passes and nothing happen. I can sit and stare at nothing, and I have a very hard time being motivated to do anything..

I would like to see a therapist but I am scared to ask my parents (they take care of my insurance that's why). I don't know if I'm suffering from depression or something else, but I am scared to stay like that for the next few months without doing anything to help myself.

I'm sorry if this post is too long, and thank you if you read it all, I really appreciate! :)
 
TroubleinParadise

TroubleinParadise

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Hey,

Firstly, thank you for sharing; it is never easy. Are there any mental health services in your area? To me it sounds like you're quite stressed with everything going on; perhaps overwhelmed by things. A counselor could help you go through these issues you're experiencing; even talking to a good friend might do you some good.

You mentioned the divorce, your breakup, your studies - are there any other significant stressors in your life?
 
O

ophsroses

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Apr 8, 2019
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Germany
Thanks for your answer, I guess there are mental health services around yes, I imagine I can easily find a psychologist or psychotherapist around.

Indeed, it seems like I am overwhelmed and stressed with things..

The holiday I mentioned is also stressing me because the situation is so uncertain.. Also the thought of living alone (moving out from my gf) after the trip is stressing me as well.
 
JustMek

JustMek

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Hi, ophsroses,
I'm not sure if you have depression, probably not yet, but I think you should go to therapy anyway. It will stop you from falling into depression and it will help you deal with your current stress.
I know it's hard telling to your parents, but depression is harder.
Even if you don't find a therapist that suits you at first try, I still recommend you to keep looking for it.
 
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ophsroses

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Hi JustMek, thank you for your answer, I hope you are right! And I will get in touch with a therapist, I guess it's the best I can do
 
JustMek

JustMek

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I hope you the best :)
And yeah, talking to your doctor is good aswell (I don't think it's necessary better before or after)
 
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ophsroses

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I don't have a doctor here in Germany but in Switzerland, I don't know if it's worth going to a random doctor instead of a therapist directly
 
JustMek

JustMek

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I'd rather put my efforts on finding a good therapist then, I think it's more specific for what you may need
 
J

johnram

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I believe you should speak to someone, whether thats a counsellor or therapist, but i think someone who can understand underneath the presenting issues (appreciate that isnt a nice thought)

in the UK we have low cost options, maybe that is possible?
 
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Pollypop

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I agree that if you don’t have a doctor, finding a therapist is a good
Idea.
 
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Pollypop

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I meant to add counsellor as well as therapist.

I hope whatever you do is successful for you and
brings you peace. X
 
O

ophsroses

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Thank you both for the advice, I will see if a low cost option is possible and I'll google counsellor and therapist nearby.

I did talk to 2 friends about these issues, and even though they are really nice and helping me and letting me talk about it to them, I feel like i need professional advices at the moment
 
J

johnram

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in the UK, counselling training centres, or therapy training centres, tend to offer low cost options
as do some charities
if that helps
 
JustMek

JustMek

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I've been there, my girlfriend and family wanted to help but they just couldn't. They keep trying but very few times they are helpful.
On the other hand, my therapist really gets me and helps me, that's why I recommend it :)
 
J

johnram

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Nice they tried to help, but these topics have depth that needs a trained person
 
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Pollypop

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Hi ophsroses, I noticed your thread has not had any
activity for quite some time.

How are you and did you manage to find any professional
help.
I do hope things are much calmer for you now. X
 

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