Am I Shizo?

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TheMultipleInMe

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#1
Hi I've been diagnosed as DID
But my friend and a few others seem to be hinting that they think I'm schiezaphenic they think this because I can become so delusional I'm a danger to myself, I hear voices people talking sounds music and I hallucinate I see spiders, dogs and my shadow people I've had my shadow people since I was 12 I'm 22 'now and the first time he put his hand around my neck and was strangling me and it felt so realy even if I'm having a bad day I can feel that sensation again, sometimes they move other times they just stand there and nothing makes them go away, when it happenes I'm convinced there real and I'm convinced my delusions are realy even when I'm not having them...

I don't understand why she thought this? Is it cause I have massive breaks from reality aswell as all that's above?..

I'm always convinced people poison my food and drink if I don't make it myself it seen it made, if I put my drink in my bag I can't drink it again cause it's poisoned, also my mother she has a microchip in me I no she has and she spy's on me she can hear everything I'm saying and can see everything I'm doing..

What's your thoughts ??
Xx
 
BlueGlass

BlueGlass

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#2
Do the shadow people actually hurt you or does it feel like they hurt you?
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#3
Hi BlueGlass
It depends the shadow people have put there hand round my neck to strangle me and they charge at me other times they stand there saying thins the spider crawl on me and on the floor the dog barks and run about.
The shadow people if not move they stand by my bedroom cub board and i fee them touching my back and neck and feel them crawling inside and out my shoulders so sometimes they hurt me other times they do that x
 
amathus

amathus

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Hi,have you discussed everything you have described in your post with a GP or Psych? It might put your mind at rest if you did. You could copy your post and give it to whoever you see, so they get a good picture of what's going on for you.

Unfortunately we're not able to diagnose on here, but other members may come along and chat to you about your difficulties.. they sound pretty frightening to me and must cause you distress.

amathus.
 
Gajolene

Gajolene

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#5
Hi MultipleinMe just wanted to say Hi this morning, and wanted to say my son's developed their MH conditions around the same age as you are now, they both experiences similar things to what your going through with voices and hallucinations, but they have different conditions, it's very scary for you and for your family too I'm sure. Are you recieveng any kind of doctor care or medications right now? I know you said you've already had a DID diagnoses, it sounds possible to me that there is something else happening as well to cause you to be going through these things..Amathus is right we can't diagnose here and noone that isn't a doctor should try.
It's important that you do get in for help and soon, the earlier they can diagnose whats going on with you, the better chance they have of helping you to get the delusions and voices that aren't part of your DID under control and to help feel more safe and stable. It is possible that they may change your diagnoses to something other than DID or add another one in addition to it.
I am worried for you and hope you are getting into a pdoc soon, they really need to know what's going on. Is there anyone to help you at home?
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#6
Hi amathus
Yeah they just dismiss me along with my DID and say it's anxiety I'm not anxious nor am I stressed ... X
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#7
Morning gajalone :) thanks for replying again! :)
I have a CPN and I'm on quertiapin 100mg, mitazapin 15mg and zopiclone 7.5mg
I'm stilling through town as I aswell do.. Just walking don't no where don't no how long for.. I'm scared.
No one at homes understands mum just like I see things when I'm stressed blah blah :/ not the same!! There's a multicar park next to me hmm.. :'(
Thee doc in linden said I have emotionally unstable personality dis and doesn't agree with my DId one thing is he don't no me! He only met me inside hospital xx
 
Gajolene

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#8
IMO and I'm not a Doc just have gone through many, many, many med changes with the boys and with my exhusband (their dad) through many different types of mania and episodes. I think you need to discuss your meds with your Pdoc not the CMHT nurses. Just so you know their dad is Rapid Cycling Manic Bipolar with paranoid and delusional episodes. My Son JS was originally though paranoid scitzophrenic but that actually was changed to scitzo-affective 2 years ago now, he gets manic episodes as well, JD is a disorganized, delusional scitzophrenic who is ill all the time, he does not get episodes and has his people and voices with him all the time. When JS is in manic episode he thinks similar thoughts to yours, with the bugs(insects), the recording devices, and thinking people even close people are in on trying to cause him harm in some way. When he takes his meds on time and doesn't skip any doses it keeps those types of things from invading his thoughts and thinking irrationally. I also understand how real this feels to you as well.

All of them had their conditions come on full in their early 20's as well even though their were signs and lesser illness' in them in their teens too.
You may be getting more symptoms now that your in your 20's even though your already on meds, many times these types of illness' progress into more serious illness' and then your meds need to change to to cope with the additional symptoms.


Don't feel bad about your mum non understanding your illness hun, my boys don't like talking to me about theirs either, so I leave it up to them to handle their docs and nurses and councillors now that they are stable and doing better. I still have to jump in sometimes and help them with the docs if they go off their meds and get ill again and have to go back to psych hospital to get their symptoms and meds sorted sometimes. Never for very long though usually back home within one or two weeks.

They both live me, JS is 28 next month and JD just turned 27 their dad and I split up several years ago, but still has contact and struggles with his illness. So any questions you want to ask me I can probably help with. Talk to your doctor about the possibilities of you needing risperidone OK?
 
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zoomz

zoomz

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#9
Morning gajalone :) thanks for replying again! :)
I have a CPN and I'm on quertiapin 100mg, mitazapin 15mg and zopiclone 7.5mg
I'm stilling through town as I aswell do.. Just walking don't no where don't no how long for.. I'm scared.
No one at homes understands mum just like I see things when I'm stressed blah blah :/ not the same!! There's a multicar park next to me hmm.. :'(
Thee doc in linden said I have emotionally unstable personality dis and doesn't agree with my DId one thing is he don't no me! He only met me inside hospital xx

It is quite common for people with emotionally unstable personality to think they are schizophrenic.

Also the two conditions can run concurrent with each other as a duel diagnosis.
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#10
Hi Gajolene ,
I'm sorry about your Sons and their father hope it's gets under control for them and you an they can become better , well on weds I switched and it was quite bad it
Took 6 police to restrain Sammy Wendsday apparently he got out the handcuffs and I was 136 I came around when I was in the suite with 3 police, the assessment said go bk to cpn ton thursday and get a psychiatrist to see me, sore herthursday and nothing upong my meds day hospital tues and Thursday and that's all.. even though Sammy hurt me dad came to get me and found me at the lakes 136 Dads fumming they sent me home!! Dad said it's firsdt he ever seen me switch and it scared the hell out of him my whole face changed eyes everything wasn't even aware of who dad was, my consoltant prescribed me with 125 slow realease quietapin thing is it doesn't exist in slow realases so much for him being a consoltant ! -.- so back on 100mg till Tuesday x
 
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Gajolene

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#12
Oh hun I am so sorry to hear that, must of been a terrible experience to wake up to, I hope the officers weren't to hard on you physically, in Canada you would have been admitted right away, UK really does have bad problems with Psych in hospitals don't they, huge huge hugs, I'm glad your dad is there supporting you and hope you can hold on till Tuesday, I'm sure it is scary for the whole family. I suggest you let your dad into the appointment with you in case one of your alters tries to interfere and make you forget his recommendations. I'm glad you found another friend on here who shares a similar condition to yours as well, I'm sure she will be a great support to you as well.

I cope fairly well with my MH I have been in recovery a long time and not had a major relapse in three years this month, JD has the worst time as it is lonely for him being unable to communicate his wants and needs, his thoughts and delusions are very disorganized, and he is lonely having lost all his friends because of it.
JS went off one of his meds last week but so far is managing really well and I am seeing no difference in his behaviour yet, I'm scared as it is supposed to control his paranoia and even though he's good now, that may not be the case in four weeks time. He stays in as he feels safer and isn't triggered into his paranioa and his hurtfull distressing voices near as much. We just take things one day at a time around here, and hope that one day is a good one. We have been in aftercare quite a while now, I only see a counsellor once every few months now, The boys have very good health teams that help them tremendously, and that is a help to me as I don't have to take them to their doctors appointments or for their injections, or in for their psychology appointments both are still stable, they even help them with shopping, which is a relief to me as well and keeps my negative stress levels down.
I also heard my my youngest son this week the first time in a long time, he is at the end of his college and today is going for a job interview with Ubisoft. He is very talented graphic artist and I'm very proud of him. Was very happy news hearing from him. I hope you manage OK this weekend thanks for posting and keeping us up to date. I think it's important for people to see all sides of MH conditions so they can learn to understand and support better.
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#13
Hi gajolene,it was horrible I just broke down crying I was so scared the police were lovely one of the lady officers new someone with did aswell she's calling me tomorrow to see how I am! She stayed with me apparently the whole time and my friend who was there said they didn't want to restrain him but he was going crazy they didn't hurt me/him though they were really nice, wrist are brushed where he got out the cuffs and my chest hurts but that where they had him against the car and he was straining and forcing to get away.
Yes it's terrible down here the wY the system is run! Parents are coming to the session aswell :)

Sorry to hear that but glad they and you gave such a good health team supporting you lot x
 
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#14
I can tell you a bit about shadow entities.

Not sure how long I've had mine, I discovered mine just before Christmas. About three years ago I was told by spirits that I had them, but I never noticed or heard anything from them.

Then before Christmas last year they attacked me. Making my head go a bit fuzzy. I've got a lot of friends who tend to protect me and they entered the fray. The Shadows tried to put what they called a "skull cap" on me, and when that failed they tried to put in what they called "back implants". I know others who have negative thought insertion and also experienced physical stuff like you. I know one lady who got broken ribs as a result of an attack.

In my own case, the battle reached a stalemate and a truce was called, then the shadows offered to start working with me and I accepted, things have been very cool since then, though they do have quite a dark sense of humour. One of the first things they did for my was to allow me to see them, up until then I only heard their thoughts (this is rare I think, they are very secretive) and physically felt them - they seem very good at telekinisis, hence being able to physically feel them.
 
Gajolene

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#15
I glad the officers were good, maybe that one officer can connect you with the other DID person as well, I think it would be good to meet others simialar to yourself, and now the police are aware of you MH as well so you won't be confused with a violent criminal by mistake with them. So even though it was a terrible experience some good may come out of it, the doctors will definately take you more seriously now, that's for sure. The waiting is hard though isn't it, especially when these things happen on a weekend.

Thanks Splodge as well for sharing your experiences with your shadow entities as well, I think that's what my son JD has, but his are happy and non-violent, you should start another thread on the topic, I love this forum, all the members are so brave for sharing these things to help us caring family members and friends to understand.
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#16
Hi splodge thanks for commenting and like gajolene said thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Glad it's settled now for you. Your said they tyred putting a "skull cap" on you, I'm intredge into what this is?
X
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#17
Yeah ThTs what I'm hoping I also know a lady called Katie who knows this lady that the officer knows! So it's a crazy small city I live in ahah! I'm hoping the doctors do, my consoltant prescribed me 125mg slow release qutieapin and it doesn't exists in slow release lol douche!!

Sorry I missed this on your last post up there, congratulations on your sons interview I hope he gets it :) goodluck to him
X
 
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Splodge

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#18
First I'd like to say that I am unique, and you are unique, these entities, should you percieve them come as you own unique instance of them, so perceptions and understandings will differ, there are many ways to interpret information and of understanding things. So the experiences I had, may not be universal. Though I have spoken to others who have experienced similar things.

The general concept is that there are forces out there that are trying to stop us becoming all we can be. These are forces of balance, the dark, they work to suppress our true self and they tend to appear once we step out of ego and start moving towards the truth of self.

The skull cap is a manipulation device, it can drain you of energy and it can also affect your moods and make you ill. Generally not a good thing. The back implants do similar but are not so good on manipulating moods.



Hi splodge thanks for commenting and like gajolene said thanks for sharing your experiences with us. Glad it's settled now for you. Your said they tyred putting a "skull cap" on you, I'm intredge into what this is?
X
 
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TheMultipleInMe

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#19
First I'd like to say that I am unique, and you are unique, these entities, should you percieve them come as you own unique instance of them, so perceptions and understandings will differ, there are many ways to interpret information and of understanding things. So the experiences I had, may not be universal. Though I have spoken to others who have experienced similar things.

That must be nice to know your not alone with these either

The general concept is that there are forces out there that are trying to stop us becoming all we can be. These are forces of balance, the dark, they work to suppress our true self and they tend to appear once we step out of ego and start moving towards the truth of self.


The skull cap is a manipulation device, it can drain you of energy and it can also affect your moods and make you ill. Generally not a good thing. The back implants do similar but are not so good on manipulating moods.
Ah this is white interesting I've never heard of these shadow be discribed in this way :) x