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Am I Paranoid?

1

1311811

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Jan 19, 2009
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Due to the nature of my job (military) I am going to keep my name private. I have a few concerns about how I am feeling and I am afraid to seek help due to the nature of what I do because of the repercussions that seeking mental help may have on my job and ability to deploy/carry a weapon.

A quick background, I've been in the military for a little under four years now. I'm an E-5 and have served in operation enduring freedom once and am scheduled to go back and participate in a more active combat role this time around.

Since I have been in, I have become increasingly more nervous about certain things. One example is the distrust of others around me. I feel like I work and room with people who are out to get me. Sometimes I feel like I have such a stupid phobia but it has become increasingly worse over the past two years. It's gotten so bad that I lock my food and water up in my closet sometimes for fear that people are trying to drug my food and water. I also fear of popping positive on a urinalysis test that the military makes every Active Duty member participate in at least once annually. The purpose of the test is to determine if the service member has done any illegal drugs or taken prescribed medications that were not prescribed to the member; such as: Oxycodone, Hydrocodone, Morphine, etc.

I have never and will never do drugs because I love the military and what I do. However, every time I take a urinalysis test I am overly concerned about coming up positive. Even though I know I never do drugs or take them.

Why do I do this? What's my problem? I need a resolution. Is it an anxiety problem? Paranoia?
 
A

Apotheosis

Guest
Hi & welcome to the forum.

To be honest it does sound a bit like paranoia; & it could be stress related. By I am not a trained doctor & it wouldn't be right to hazard a guess at what may actually be gong on.

Is it possible that you could confide in someone you do trust - to talk all this through with them? Or see a doctor? Unless these "issues" are dealt with in some way - then I do not personally think that they will go away.

I hope that you find a resolution to these difficulties.
 
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J

jamesdean

Guest
I do understand that paranoia is such a horriable condition I have to deal with it 24/7, I dont have any magic answers but like apothesis says it would help if there is someone you could talk to but because of its very nature it is difficult I write things down and if it isnt to bad i stick my two fingers up to it. Take care James
 
S

saffron

Guest
hi
welcom to the forum and hope youu find help and support on here.

You are in a very stressfull job that relies on being able to trust your team as well as your own thoughts. I am not suprised that you are untrustful of people around you, but it has got to the point that you do not even trust them with your food, which mean you have gone way beyond a bit of stress to more of a problem. its almost like you have resorted to behaving in a food hoarding and survival situation.

I know you love what you do, BUT, you must talk to someone about this as it could literately be a matter of life and death for you.
the thing is, even though you are distrusting, your behaviour will effect the others on your team and they will think that they cannot rely on you.
You say you are going to go into combat and while a mentality of not trusting the situation would help you be more vigilant, it may also be your demise, especially because it has led to feelings of untrust for your collegues who you rely on to back you up and conversely they rely on you.

Its a bitter pill to swallow but I think you should seek counselling now rather than sit on it and hope it will go away, it wont, it is a sign of deep anxiety that must be adressed before you go out to combat.

Being honest with those around y0u, maybe a team member will help, because i would think that most of the men you are with are going through some sort of anxiety, they would not be human otherwise. It is nothing to be ashamed of, but you must be honest .

thinking of you. you are a brave and courageous man and I applaude you for what are doing.

S
 
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S

schizolanza

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Sep 22, 2008
Messages
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When I was hospitalised I bwcame very paranoid about my food.I was concerned that my food might be spiked with drugs and that I would be put on a section 3 as a result.I'd squeeze my orange juice container to make sur it hadn't been injected with a syringe.
I've since been diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
It seems to me that you are paranoid.Perhaps talking about things on this forum will help.If you do nothing then your 'symptoms' may get worse.
I hope that you can nip this in the bud somehow.
 
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