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Am I mad?

J

Jellylegs

Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2008
Messages
8
Location
Gloucestershire
Hello everyone

I am a 35 year old female. I've had panic attacks for 16 years and for the last year I've suffered from GAD.
I'm on mirtazapine tablets (30mg) and have recently started cognitive behavioural therapy.

The thing that is worrying me right now is that I'm going mad or that I have some kind of mental illness aside from anxiety disorder.

Last night while I was trying to get to sleep I was having strange thoughts and feelings. I had random thoughts, images and voices all jumbled up and racing through my head and I had no control over it. I can't really find the right words to be able to describe what it was like other than it felt like I was going mad.
I started to become very anxious. I tried to calm myself down by telling myself that I'm not going mad and breathing calmly but it took ages before I calmed down enough to fall asleep. When I woke up this morning my stomach was in knots and I'm really frightened that I have something else wrong with me which is not anxiety related.
It's happened a couple of times before.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing?
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
Hi

Hello jellylegs, i take mirtazapine 45mg 4 depression, started on it in 2005 but i didnt really start 2 benefit un til 2007, i started on 30mg. i did used 2 suffer from panic attacks very badly but i went on 2 half inderal in 1992, which as helped enormously. i cannot answer the other questions," r u going mad" but can say in my experience its been 1 thing after another inclusive of some physical health conditions but this is a great forum n i'm sure others will b able 2 help more. take care jd:hug::flowers:
 
yakuza

yakuza

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2008
Messages
812
Location
Edinburgh
:welcome: to the forum Jellylegs

I also suffer with the anxiety and symptoms you describe.
I don't know how many CBT sessions you've attended but I would mention this to your Therapist and hopefully they will be able to give you some good advice and help with some coping strategies.

I would never under estimate the effects anxiety has on our every day lives,it creeps up on us at any time.

Your GP should also be able to help,maybe ask for a review of the medication you are taking?
I take a anti-psychotic which also has a tranquillizing effect,I do find that it has helped me calm down a little particularly during the day.
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
thats right

:)yakuza is right anxiety i think in my experience has been the worst 4 me not being able 2 control it, i have had 2 run out of the room n stuff like because its all got 2 much, it does freak u out because u dont know where it comes from, i can only explain it like its a free spirit that dosent like being controled but it would best i guess if like yakuza says speak 2 some1 about it. I'm gonna have a:tea:now take care
 
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D

Dollit

Guest
If your mind is over active when you're trying to get to sleep and you close your eyes your brain will fill in the gaps to some extent. We had a thread not so long ago about how someone sometimes sees a face when they close their eyes to sleep and my GP and I had had that same discussion. Anxiety tends to take things up a notch or two. Perhaps if you could formulate a way of grounding yourself somehow before you try to sleep - some meditation or relaxation exercises that may help. A routine that helps you get relaxed begins to kick in automatically after a while.

As for you going mad, well if you were going mad I don't think you'd be aware enough to ask the question. But I have to say the waking up with knots in your stomach is symptomatic of anxiety also.

Take care and let us know how you get on.
 
J

Jellylegs

Member
Joined
Jun 20, 2008
Messages
8
Location
Gloucestershire
Hello again

Thanks for all your replies. I did tell my therapist about it. The only way I could describe it to her was 'as if someone had switched a movie on inside my head and it was all jumbled up'.
She said that she has heard the same sort of thing from other sufferers and that anxiety can cause many types of physical and emotional reactions and she wasn't conerned that I was going mad, it's just a reaction to the anxiety.

I had a reasonably good day yesterday and went to the pub in the evening for an hour with a couple of friends. I felt fine before I went out but while I was sitting in the pub garden I started feeling really jittery and didn't enjoy myself so I'm feeling a little bit down today.

I'm really trying with the cognitive behavioural therapy but I'm finding it a struggle at times. I'm trying to stay positive but keep worrying that the CBT won't be successful and that I'll be no better off than I was before.
It's early days though so I'll stick with it and hope for the best.

Thanks again for your replies, I hope you're all doing ok :)
 
R

Roxy

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Jan 13, 2008
Messages
86
Location
Scotland
Hi Jellylegs and:welcome:to the forum.

I do sympathise with your anxiety condition and know how debilitating it can be. Hopefully, once you've had a few more CBT sessions, you'll notice an improvement, but please do not be discouraged if it takes some time as it is not a quick fix. I've been receiving this treatment for approx. 18 months and although there have been benefits, I still struggle to cope on many occasions, however I appreciate that many others have achieved better results on a much quicker timescale.

Good Luck::flowers:
 
J

jamesdean

Guest
hi jelly legs

definately keep up with the cbt but may b u should ask your gp about half inderal 2 help with the physical symptons.
 
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