Am I leveling out or getting depressed?

[ara13]

I have been relatively stable for about a month now, the first in a really long time.

But I still feel a little down and have less motivation than normal. Is this just coming down from being constantly manic and having to deal with what it's like to get motivation like a "normal" person? Or is it my meds bringing me down too low.

I'm also constantly paranoid that I am gaining weight (even though my meds arent supposed to do that) from them and my body image issues are starting to come back... maybe also just because I'm not manic anymore?

This really sucks and I'm not sure it's worth even taking these meds if I'm going to feel this way! I miss my mania!
(But when I don't take my meds I start to hallucinate so it's a real balance)

I have a feeling I'm just sort of evening out and starting to have to deal with living in a "normal" range of emotions, but I'm worried it's going to change who I am. Anyone understand this or have any advice?

 

[Zana]

May I suggest a mood tracking app if you don't already use one? eMoods is available of Google Play and it's just perfect; you can see trends and track your meds and sleep etc, and generate reports to show to your docs.

Your last paragraph really hit home there as I'm also trying to find the right balance of meds and am a bit scared of what a 'normal' mood is like as I simply don't remember who I am when 'normal'!

It's hard, but try to keep taking your meds as prescribed until you can see your doctor again to discuss. Don't set your goals too high and if you need to just try to keep a healthy sleep and meal routine and place, get out for a walk a day and keep hydrated. I find expecting too much of myself just accelerates the slip into depression as I can't do what I set out to.

We can't really stop the mood changes but just recognising it is a really important step so kudos for that!

Hope this helps. All the best and God bless.

 

[Failing Heart]

I have been relatively stable for about a month now, the first in a really long time.

But I still feel a little down and have less motivation than normal. Is this just coming down from being constantly manic and having to deal with what it's like to get motivation like a "normal" person? Or is it my meds bringing me down too low.

I'm also constantly paranoid that I am gaining weight (even though my meds arent supposed to do that) from them and my body image issues are starting to come back... maybe also just because I'm not manic anymore?

This really sucks and I'm not sure it's worth even taking these meds if I'm going to feel this way! I miss my mania!
(But when I don't take my meds I start to hallucinate so it's a real balance)

I have a feeling I'm just sort of evening out and starting to have to deal with living in a "normal" range of emotions, but I'm worried it's going to change who I am. Anyone understand this or have any advice?

I’m scared about the same thing...I’m so tired of relationship issues and not feeling good from mania but I am also an artist so I’m terrified I’ll lose my creativity. It’s the thing I value about myself the most… Having art as a creative outlet has often times been the only thing to get me through hard places. I don’t know who I am without it.

 

[ara13]

I’m scared about the same thing...I’m so tired of relationship issues and not feeling good from mania but I am also an artist so I’m terrified I’ll lose my creativity. It’s the thing I value about myself the most… Having art as a creative outlet has often times been the only thing to get me through hard places. I don’t know who I am without it.

Me too, my creativity is the most important part of myself in my opinion and I am constantly in fear of losing it to the meds. Luckily, it isn't happening in the long term but on a day-to-day basis its really easy to write off my lack of creativity as related to my meds.

I really relate to what youre saying