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Am I just overthinking this?

babyblue22

babyblue22

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Jan 23, 2019
Messages
289
Location
Uk
Hey everyone,

So basically out the blue my brother said he wants to take me out for dinner now that we can with lockdown. He’s doing a 2/3hour round trip to come & meet me in a pub garden which is amazing ❤
We have a caring relationship about each other but we don’t talk that much as we don’t have loads in common. I don’t think we have ever sat down just the two of us since we were children & I’m getting really anxious about it. My mum said he rang her the other day just for a chat which isn’t like him either. We all had a bad year last year & think he is just making more of an effort with family.
Obviously I’m so excited to see him but I feel like I’m just over thinking it?
Any opinions?
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
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I think a ton of people can relate. A lot of us are trying to reach out to family again if we are allowed to go out, as we have realised we miss people once lockdown happened. But it's hard when it's a family member that you're not used to having one-on-one's with, I get it. My sister does this with me, I don't feel she can relate to my life and I get high anxiety, do it out of obligation more than anything. And half the time I end up really glad I forced myself to do it. But your anxiety is TOTALLY understandable. And I think the pandemic has made us more anxious to start going out again, we've gotten so used to the isolation. It's def going to be a time of transitioning back to going out, which is awesome in a lot of ways but also brings on a lot of anxiety. I hear you.
 
JessisMe

JessisMe

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Joined
Feb 27, 2020
Messages
7,892
Location
Nashua NH
Hey everyone,

So basically out the blue my brother said he wants to take me out for dinner now that we can with lockdown. He’s doing a 2/3hour round trip to come & meet me in a pub garden which is amazing ❤
We have a caring relationship about each other but we don’t talk that much as we don’t have loads in common. I don’t think we have ever sat down just the two of us since we were children & I’m getting really anxious about it. My mum said he rang her the other day just for a chat which isn’t like him either. We all had a bad year last year & think he is just making more of an effort with family.
Obviously I’m so excited to see him but I feel like I’m just over thinking it?
Any opinions?
Wow that is so wonderful that your brother would be making an effort to be closer to family. My brother has been making that kind of effort lately too. I think the pandemic helped some people slow down and take stock of what in their lives is really important. I wouldn’t scrutinize it too much, just look forward to enjoying yourself out with your brother. You can talk about what is going on in your lives, interests and hobbies or current events if you are worried about conversation. It might not happen again so try and relax and enjoy your time with your brother while the two of you are together. xo, j
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Apr 9, 2011
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Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
i think it would be lovely if you could manage to go ,i was thinking if you don't want to meet out ,could you perhaps cook a meal for you both?
let us know how you get on x
how was the lighting of the candle for your baby? xx
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
289
Location
Uk
I think a ton of people can relate. A lot of us are trying to reach out to family again if we are allowed to go out, as we have realised we miss people once lockdown happened. But it's hard when it's a family member that you're not used to having one-on-one's with, I get it. My sister does this with me, I don't feel she can relate to my life and I get high anxiety, do it out of obligation more than anything. And half the time I end up really glad I forced myself to do it. But your anxiety is TOTALLY understandable. And I think the pandemic has made us more anxious to start going out again, we've gotten so used to the isolation. It's def going to be a time of transitioning back to going out, which is awesome in a lot of ways but also brings on a lot of anxiety. I hear you.
Definitely think the pandemic has impacted my anxiety. It’s nice to know that you have been in the same position as me with your sister! I’m sure I will be glad I went. He’s making so much effort & I want him to know how appreciative I am xx
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
289
Location
Uk
i think it would be lovely if you could manage to go ,i was thinking if you don't want to meet out ,could you perhaps cook a meal for you both?
let us know how you get on x
how was the lighting of the candle for your baby? xx
Yeah he’s so supportive of my anxiety, we are going to place I know really well & know the owner of the pub. He wanted to take some anxiety away which is why he didn’t want to meet half way so I don’t have to worry about driving.
Will let you know how I get on.
It was lovely to just take time to remember, feel closer to him xx
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Apr 24, 2021
Messages
719
Location
US
Definitely think the pandemic has impacted my anxiety. It’s nice to know that you have been in the same position as me with your sister! I’m sure I will be glad I went. He’s making so much effort & I want him to know how appreciative I am xx
Exactly. Avoidance is the easy answer, but so often when we actually go, we're glad we did. Plus it helps keep us from chronically avoiding things, as I have been, to the point where you don't do anything. Honestly, the forced isolation from the pandemic at times seemed like a blessing, not feeling the obligations to do all the social things. But we must push forward.
 
babyblue22

babyblue22

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Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
289
Location
Uk
Exactly. Avoidance is the easy answer, but so often when we actually go, we're glad we did. Plus it helps keep us from chronically avoiding things, as I have been, to the point where you don't do anything. Honestly, the forced isolation from the pandemic at times seemed like a blessing, not feeling the obligations to do all the social things. But we must push forward.
Definitely agree, avoidance is the easy answer. I guess I’m anxious about how he is coping with everything in his life too. I want him to be ok ❤
 
2

2Much2Feel

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Joined
Apr 24, 2021
Messages
719
Location
US
Definitely agree, avoidance is the easy answer. I guess I’m anxious about how he is coping with everything in his life too. I want him to be ok ❤
Well, just you going to dinner w him is probably helping him be OK. It's amazing what the small steps can do. And helping someone out always helps w the mood.
 
Supermansgirlfriend

Supermansgirlfriend

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 31, 2021
Messages
244
Location
Lancashire
Hey everyone,

So basically out the blue my brother said he wants to take me out for dinner now that we can with lockdown. He’s doing a 2/3hour round trip to come & meet me in a pub garden which is amazing ❤
We have a caring relationship about each other but we don’t talk that much as we don’t have loads in common. I don’t think we have ever sat down just the two of us since we were children & I’m getting really anxious about it. My mum said he rang her the other day just for a chat which isn’t like him either. We all had a bad year last year & think he is just making more of an effort with family.
Obviously I’m so excited to see him but I feel like I’m just over thinking it?
Any opinions?
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