Am I hearing voices?

O

orangecup

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Joined
Jan 23, 2019
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#1
(I will be referring to my possible voices as just voices)
Hi all,
I've been thinking about this for a while, and I think I might be hearing voices. I am homeschooled and at the end of each grade I have to go to a public building for a test. Going outside is stressful for me because I have bad anxiety, and school is even more anxiety which doubles the stress. I bring this up because the earliest I can recall hearing a voice is when I had to take one of these tests. Before the test, I heard a comforting voice, but it was my voice. I believe this is a voice because I've never been able to comfort myself by talking to myself, but randomly my thoughts were comforting. They comforted me and told me I didn't have to stress about it. It helped me cope with my intense anxiety, which I was extremely grateful for. At the time I believed I was just talking to myself, but what's been happening in recent years has made me think otherwise. Lately, the voices have been ruder. They criticize my friends and family constantly, and until 10 minutes ago, I thought it was just me being rude. And for that reason, I was starting to hate myself. But now that I've heard other peoples experiences, I'm able to differentiate some of the rude voices from my own thoughts.
I'm unable to communicate with my voices, and if I try to confront them they disappear as if they don't hear me, or even exist. Which has been making me think that maybe I'm just talking to myself, which is very distressing. I've seen nearly everybody who hears voices saying they can communicate with them, yet I can't, which makes me think I'm only talking to myself. On top of that, my voices are either in my own voice or don't have a voice at all because they're subconscious, which makes it even more difficult to tell if I am hearing voices or not.

More about my situation:
I can function quite normally, for I'm able to block out my thoughts sometimes and even joke about it to myself to shed light on it instead of sulking. Though it can be difficult if I am not focused on something, or if I'm alone.
I do isolate myself most of the time (other than being around online friends) because of my anxiety.
I have OCD and Anxiety, which makes it even more difficult for me to distinguish if it's A) me talking to myself, B) my mental illnesses speaking, or C) me hearing voices.

I know you guys can't diagnose me, but if anyone could help me understand if I'm hearing voices or not, it would be much appreciated!

Hugs, Orange!

(P.S. Sorry if this post is a bit of a mess, I'm in an anxiety fit typing this because I feel like I'm lying [my anxiety {or if its voices, I'm not sure} tells me that I'm making this up and that I'm actually OK] which distresses me greatly.)
(P.S. P.S. The more I think about my thoughts, the more I'm starting to believe it could be voices, but I would love to hear an outsiders view on this)
 
boudreauj4

boudreauj4

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 6, 2017
Messages
706
#2
I read a book titled Hearing Voices: A Common Human Experience by John Watkins. This book helped me tremendously. It also explains 20 different ways to help cope with voices.
 
O

orangecup

Member
Joined
Jan 23, 2019
Messages
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#3
Sorry if I caused any worries! I think I was just in a panic and not thinking straight. I'm okay now :)