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Am I hearing voices or hearing myself?

T

Tyche

Member
Joined
Jul 30, 2020
Messages
10
Location
uk
hi guys first of all thanks for taking the time to read, it means more than you know. So I've always had a constant running commentary in my mind and uve always argued with myself. I was asked recently at my psychiatrist app for a diagnosis what the voices sounded like, if they were my own or someone elses. And I replied my own as they do sound like me, not exactly. There's like a mean one, a nice one then there's me. I often hear the mean one telling me I should just die already. It makes me very upset i argue back telling them I wish they'd stop already, but why am I using the term they when I ask for it to stop why is the voice you and not I if it is myself. I was diangnosed with bpd ptsd and ocd at the start of the year but none of those diagnosis in my eyes fit the talking to myself. I hear loud noises that aren't there all the time but I put that down to the otsd and constantly being on edge and fear. Any advice at all would be great, id love to hear of people who have maybe experienced something similar. I'm a young female in my 20s i could probably have an active social life and even though I crave it it terrifies me so I sit at home alone arguing with myself. I have researched did but I feel I only meet some of the criteria. Are theses voices even real i find myself asking that daily. Am I making it all up. I've never felt so lost
 
P

Purpleplum

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 7, 2020
Messages
984
Location
nowhere
Yes, you are hearing yourself. You are not hearing voices from anyone else.
 
Zero One

Zero One

Well-known member
Joined
May 19, 2020
Messages
2,599
Location
United States
PTSD is a monster...I'm so sorry to hear that you have that. My flashbacks are vivid and as if I am reliving it on a different time and place..I would say it sometimes includes voices and hallucinations but I also have schizoaffective disorder so I'm not sure if it is because of that. Hope you get well soon💕
 
R

Rabbit777

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
42
Location
Bryan tx
hi guys first of all thanks for taking the time to read, it means more than you know. So I've always had a constant running commentary in my mind and uve always argued with myself. I was asked recently at my psychiatrist app for a diagnosis what the voices sounded like, if they were my own or someone elses. And I replied my own as they do sound like me, not exactly. There's like a mean one, a nice one then there's me. I often hear the mean one telling me I should just die already. It makes me very upset i argue back telling them I wish they'd stop already, but why am I using the term they when I ask for it to stop why is the voice you and not I if it is myself. I was diangnosed with bpd ptsd and ocd at the start of the year but none of those diagnosis in my eyes fit the talking to myself. I hear loud noises that aren't there all the time but I put that down to the otsd and constantly being on edge and fear. Any advice at all would be great, id love to hear of people who have maybe experienced something similar. I'm a young female in my 20s i could probably have an active social life and even though I crave it it terrifies me so I sit at home alone arguing with myself. I have researched did but I feel I only meet some of the criteria. Are theses voices even real i find myself asking that daily. Am I making it all up. I've never felt so lost
It’s seems real. It’s not real but it’s such a visceral experiences that it’s hard.
Ure taking to yourself but it doesn’t at all feel like it. And mine are so negative that I’m pissed at imaginary voice ppl that don’t exist. It’s bizarre and it feels crazy. And it effects your life and mood to a crazy extent. And it kinda changes ure brain. My attention span and short term memory are gone pretty much. I’m distracted and stress constantly. I’ve had hives and my hair is falling out from stress and anxiety. It’s nuts.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,550
Location
Glasgow
hi guys first of all thanks for taking the time to read, it means more than you know. So I've always had a constant running commentary in my mind and uve always argued with myself. I was asked recently at my psychiatrist app for a diagnosis what the voices sounded like, if they were my own or someone elses. And I replied my own as they do sound like me, not exactly. There's like a mean one, a nice one then there's me. I often hear the mean one telling me I should just die already. It makes me very upset i argue back telling them I wish they'd stop already, but why am I using the term they when I ask for it to stop why is the voice you and not I if it is myself. I was diangnosed with bpd ptsd and ocd at the start of the year but none of those diagnosis in my eyes fit the talking to myself. I hear loud noises that aren't there all the time but I put that down to the otsd and constantly being on edge and fear. Any advice at all would be great, id love to hear of people who have maybe experienced something similar. I'm a young female in my 20s i could probably have an active social life and even though I crave it it terrifies me so I sit at home alone arguing with myself. I have researched did but I feel I only meet some of the criteria. Are theses voices even real i find myself asking that daily. Am I making it all up. I've never felt so lost
If your hearing voices that usually means one thing. Is it in you mind? Is it part of drink or drugs? I really hope its not the bad thing. Hope you can be well. I hope your not like me
 
R

Rabbit777

Active member
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
42
Location
Bryan tx
My mind unfortunately. Started 2 yrs and 9 months ago-out of the blue. No substance abuse. Don’t know what caused it or what will make it go away. Just started trying a third antipsychotic olanzapine, don’t know what it’s gonna feel like. Already tried abilify and seroquel- no luck there for me. But diff meds work for different people so still trying.
 
GhostOfLenin

GhostOfLenin

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 16, 2020
Messages
2,550
Location
Glasgow
My mind unfortunately. Started 2 yrs and 9 months ago-out of the blue. No substance abuse. Don’t know what caused it or what will make it go away. Just started trying a third antipsychotic olanzapine, don’t know what it’s gonna feel like. Already tried abilify and seroquel- no luck there for me. But diff meds work for different people so still trying.
Oh i really sorry. Im schizophrenic amd is really debilitating. Meds will slow tour mind down but not alot meds can really do xx
 
ICER66

ICER66

Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Sacramento, California.
hi guys first of all thanks for taking the time to read, it means more than you know. So I've always had a constant running commentary in my mind and uve always argued with myself. I was asked recently at my psychiatrist app for a diagnosis what the voices sounded like, if they were my own or someone elses. And I replied my own as they do sound like me, not exactly. There's like a mean one, a nice one then there's me. I often hear the mean one telling me I should just die already. It makes me very upset i argue back telling them I wish they'd stop already, but why am I using the term they when I ask for it to stop why is the voice you and not I if it is myself. I was diangnosed with bpd ptsd and ocd at the start of the year but none of those diagnosis in my eyes fit the talking to myself. I hear loud noises that aren't there all the time but I put that down to the otsd and constantly being on edge and fear. Any advice at all would be great, id love to hear of people who have maybe experienced something similar. I'm a young female in my 20s i could probably have an active social life and even though I crave it it terrifies me so I sit at home alone arguing with myself. I have researched did but I feel I only meet some of the criteria. Are theses voices even real i find myself asking that daily. Am I making it all up. I've never felt so lost

Hello my name is Eric and sorry to hear about your trouble.

I'm not that young I'm 54 now. But my AVH (auditory verbal hallucinations) didn't start till I was 47, it's been seven years ago now this month being September of 2020.

Your question regarding is it you is a good one.

Personally I think what I hear is just that... It's internal dialogue but somehow it ended up on the wrong side of consciousness.

I've been told that because human beings do so much when were awake physically: We see things, we hear things, we interact with people, we have to eat, relieve ourselves, exercise, go to work, go to the market, we're very busy interacting with the world...that's why do things like storing memories to long-term memory doesn't happen while we're awake it happens when we're asleep. When we sleep the body rests but the mind really never shuts down obviously.

I've read that when we're asleep that's when our short-term memories the things that happened during the day are moved over to long-term memory. It's like taking memory from Ram if you know anything about computers taking it from RAM and storing it onto a hard drive for permanent storage. Another thing that happens when we're asleep is we dream, but I've also read that that's when are inner voices dialogue with ourselves, that's when we analyze all the events for the day, all our experiences, and if it's something important we maybe adjust our point of view on certain important subjects: our view on a political issue or interpersonal relationships our relationship with our parents things that are kind of important...

It's almost like a president sitting down with his cabinet... We say: Okay I'm asleep you have my attention now... and those inner voices dialogue with us... Some of the voices are conservative and cautious some of them are more aggressive and liberal and risk-taking and supposedly we listen to all these inner voices, all this inner dialogue and then we make a decision... Eric will make a decision... you will make a decision what your policy is in life pertaining to the subject at hand, how you see things.

I understand this is how we work. And for my part for my case I believe that what I'm hearing is a set of internal voices that for some reason, somehow ended up on the wrong side of my consciousness. These are voices that we usually only hear when we're asleep in an internal dialogue. For me for my part I believe they jumped over on purpose because the criticisms and the advice they tried to give or they try to push on me are relating to a point of view I no longer share about my personal life. They're totally against my decision and they dog me about it all day long. That Never-Ending running dialogue has been going on for 7 years straight now without a single day off.

I wonder, do you here your own thoughts as you're having them... Do they sound like they're being read out loud by someone... its called audible thought? I do. It's really annoying, another thing that happens is Ill here things that I'm reading, sound like they're being read out loud whether it's a book, a web page, I can be driving down the highway and I can just look at a billboard and read it and t'll sound like someone's reading it out loud.

I'm very grateful though that when I started hearing voices that I didn't attach them to something else outside of me. I feel bad for people who hear voices and believe that they're possessed by demons or that it's God talking to them or people who have really extreme paranoia and believe it is something like the CIA beaming someone speaking on a hot microphone into their head in real time trying to mess up their life.... And of course I feel especially bad for people who hear mean voices who tell them to hurt themselves and even worst to hurt others and they act on it.

It's real simple when you're in a room and you're by yourself and it sounds like someone is talking to you... you have something wrong with your head. Unfortunately the world of medicine, Neuroscience, psychology, they haven't really moved the ball down the field very far as it relates to helping folks in my situation. I understand it's because there's not a large profit motive involved. It's very expensive work without any kind of financial return so they don't do it.

But back to your question is it you that you're hearing? Again that's a good question. After dealing with this my situation for 7 years quite often I can anticipate the negative comments before they happen and I do stop and pause and wonder.... Is this me carrying on a really sick game with myself? But if it is a situation where we are involved in playing a sick game with ourselves we ought not beat ourselves up over it cuz the word to focus on is the word sick. We're obviously not in control of our minds,. it's a scary thing to acknowledge but it's the truth.

Anti-psychotics have been a nightmare for me the side effects are unacceptable and they don't even help at least they haven't it in my case. The area of research for I hold out little hope is in the area of rTMS. They use electromagnetic pulses in specific areas of the brain to try to well in my case decelerate activity. In the speech and auditory areas of the brain there's over-activity, this is where these voices materialize in our world, without for my part as best as I can tell my initiating it. It happens on its own by its own initiative... These regions for some people are overactive... And by way of this magnetic stimulation and the frequency rate at which they pulse into these areas they can actually try to slow down activity right there and train it to perform inside of normal parameters and alleviate the unwanted dialogue that we're hearing.

That type of treatment is actually available now but I'm an American. I live in California and I don't have health care coverage and it's very expensive. So right now I'm just kind of really angry. I've been angry for a couple years now and I just miss having my Quiet Mind I can barely remember what that's like, but I still can if just barely. It was the reality I had for 47 years.

Forgive me for going on so long but as you know it's a subject that's all consuming.

I wish you all the best, Eric.
 
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