Am I hallucinating?

[Tainted]

Hello everyone

Firstly I apologise, becuase I seem to me posting a lot recenlty. Guess I just have a lot to say!

Yesterday I went to my weekly phsycotherapy group. I had so much I wanted to say, but didn't get the chance. I find the grppoup really helpful, but now I feel I have so much I want to say and not enough time as obviously it's a group session not individual.

One of the things I didn't get to mention yesterday, which is worrying me is if I am having hallucinations or not!

The past year I have been waking in the night having night terrors and I have been screaming wakeing my husbad. I always rememeber my dreams, they are very vivid. The last week I have woken up a few times because I have been hearing someone walking down the stairs or on the landing. I checked my husband and daughter where still in bed ( which they where) and went downstairs to check. There has been no one there. Then yesterday my daughter was drinking a cup of tea, She was holding the cup in two hands and I was sitting next to her, I saw the tea spill all over her. So I jumpred up to get something to clean her with and when I turned round to look at her she was sitting happily drinking her tea, which hadn't been spilt.

I wondered if I could have poeple's opinions as to what this could be. I haven't got my therapy for a couple of weeks now and I feel I can't wait that long to discuss this, as I am getting a bit worried.

Thanks for reading this.

 

[Apotheosis]

Insight - Challenge what you think, see & believe. Question things - reality test.

I find that having an awareness that the mind can play tricks, & ignoring it to a degree is the best policy.

I get a lot of stuff around sleep - the other week I awoke & saw a charred man hanging in the cupboard. I hear sounds & stuff too.

In the past I have had some very vivid hallucinations, & I used to get a lot of visual disturbances - things melting, shimmering, jumping around in my field of vision. Meditation & mindfulness techniques can be helpful too.

As a thought - it may be that fears are manifesting - you have concerns & worries that are being projected out into the physical World - just an idea.

 

[Tainted]

Thank you for your reply.

Is this something I should learn to deal / cope with? Or is this something which could potentially become worse and more disturbing to me?

I guess what I'm asking is do I need to talk about this to the medical people who help me, or is this something the majority of well / unwell peole experience?

 

[Apotheosis]

Within the field of people suffering mental health - then I would say that this stuff is normal & common. But of course - your condition is individual to you.

After 8 years of initially having MH difficulties, & the Doctors refusing to entertain or tell me anything about what I was experiencing; I then opened up & chatted with people. Other sufferers were very helpful with identification. It was the beginning of my Journey into finding out valid information & perspectives of my condition.

Unfortunately - I was as candid, open & honest with the MH team - & the result of that was them continually upping the meds, until I was on the highest dose possible, & was a zombie. It is personal perspective. If you buy the orthodox line that you have a primarily biological condition - a chemical imbalance - then allopathic medicine will treat you with drugs (& possibly their other methods) to try to get rid of symptoms. That means, trying different drugs/combinations of drugs - & often increasing doses if you keep reporting psychotic symptoms. I personally oppose this orthodox paradigm. I think that there are far better ways of learning to deal with things. I hate psychiatric meds, & the general orthodox model.

I don't see the harm in you trying ways to deal & cope with it. Who knows if things will get worse/more disturbing. There are multiple factors involved in a MH condition - IMO.

There does appear to be things which genuinely help. Are you sharing this stuff with people that you trust? Openly & honestly. That can be a great help, & does help gain perspective & understanding. Maybe try to reduce as much stress from your life as you can as well. Take things easy. I think that there are usually underlying causes to these conditions, & commonly some kind of upset & traumas. I do think that there are commonly root causes within environment, social situation & circumstances, & inter-personal relationships. This is not to blame in any way. Just that these conditions have often multiple & complex causes, that can often be part of a wider spectrum of things. What unresolved issues do you have? What conflicts? What are the things that bother you?

Also a question is physical health, diet & substances. How is your general physical health? Do you eat well, exercise & sleep well? DO you have any known allergies or medical complaints (physical). Also do you drink alcohol, or take any other drug? This also applies to psychiatric meds. Anti-depressants & other psychiatric meds can have all kinds of bizarre & odd side effects, withdrawal effects & long term effects.

In my own case. What I have found most helpful is to separate out into categories what may be influencing factors & issues. & try to address each area as best I can. I see things loosely in terms of the physical, mental & spiritual. So I may look at having good relations with others, eating well & diet, exercise, addressing psychological factors, where/how I am living, lessening stress, etc etc etc - anything which can address potential areas of difficulty, & improve the situation/condition. Different things seem to help different people. But it would appear that healthy relationships with others that people can be happy, open & honest in, are most conducive to good mental health. Good sleep, diet & exercise also is of great benefit. I know that a MH condition can effect all of these things. But these relationships are 2 way. I just don't buy the idea that a MH condition is in total isolation within the brain & can only be treated with drugs. I hope that can help a bit.

 

[Tainted]

Thank you for your reply. I found your advice very helpful.

I have been takeing meds: Lithium - 600mg and Venaflaxine 225mg. I have been on these meds since January 2009 whilst in hospital.

However, I have stopped takeing them (of my own accord) about six weeks ago.

I have been diagnosed with depression (reactive) following the death of my Mum in 2002. It was a very trumatic death and it's believed I haven't grieved.

Once a week I attend a group phsycotherapy group and once evry two weeks I see my cpn. The group don't meet up again for another two weeks and ny cpn meeting is in two weeks time.

I do find it hard to be open and honest, but I really want/need the opportunity to talk about this as it's worrying me the more and more I wait.

I'm not great at looking after to myself but then I'm not to bad either. On the outside I appear presentable, sociable and happy, but this 905 of the time isn't tha case. I am too good at putting on a mask. My mask makes things very difficult, becasue I manage to hide the real me from a lot of proffessional people who are tryig to help me. However, the hallucinations ( if that's what they are) are something I despratley want to talk about as it scares me a lot.

I eat normally, a bit to much chocolate but otherwise I'm not too bad. I have never taken illegal drugs. I used to drink heavily and was told to stop. I then started to hide the drink at home and drink secretly. I haven't drunk for about six months. Last week I started to secretly drink again! Last Wednesday at my phsycotherapy group I downed a bottle of red wine (no one noticed thankfully). In the evenings I nip to the shop and secretly drink in the car, so my husband doesn't know when I get home.

I really want to mention my concerns about the halucinations to either the group of therapy. I want to stop them from getting more frequent or disturbing. But, if this is something not to be to concerned about I will worry less and wait two weeks.

Thanks for reading.

 

[Apotheosis]

I really want to mention my concerns about the halucinations to either the group of therapy. I want to stop them from getting more frequent or disturbing. But, if this is something not to be to concerned about I will worry less and wait two weeks.

Thanks for reading.

IMO - Just from my own perspective. Medication is a very individual thing. It appears to benefit some & not others. How fast did you stop the meds? It is possible that you are getting withdrawal effects.

I would say that drinking is no solution to anything.

In what way do you relate to the hallucinations? How disturbing to you are they? What else do you think they may be?

I don't know what to really suggest. On-line interaction can help to a degree; but I don't think that it is a good substitute for real life relations. Do you have anyone that you can confide in?

If you are interested in sites that have different angles & alternative perspectives to MH stuff - then PM & I can send you some links. I do find it personally helpful to get different angles onto all this.

 

[Tainted]

I was put on the meds in January of this year and and stopped them six weeks ago all at once, in that for six weeks I was taking medicsation the next day I took nothing.

they hallucinations are not disturbing at the moment, but I worry if I continue to do nothing abot it they will get worse. I suppose I just think the hallucinations coul be of those of a well perosn, so that not to worry, or those of an ill person ( me) in which they may continue to get worse and I want to try and hault them or even cure them before this happens.

The main people I feel I can confide in are my psycotherapy group and my CPN, just got to wait formy appointments which feel so long away.

Apotheosis, thank you so much for your help I really do appreciate it.

I have drunk a bottle of wine, and whislst I feel a bit under the influence I also feel I can express myslef so much more articulatley.

Thank you again.

 

[Apotheosis]

What does the CPN, support group, & the psychiatric team think of you having stopped all the meds - do they know?

I once stopped the meds all at once - & was sectioned around 3 months later.

I have tried a lot of ways to stop the meds - But I just end up ill. I do think that people can potentially get med free. But it isn't often easy, & I wouldn't recommend just stopping - but taking things very gradually & gently.

I really don't think wine is a good idea - but if you enjoy it. I used to drink a lot. It wasn't so much the effects of drink & substances; although I did silly things sometimes - it was the consequences of drink that I couldn't handle.

But I am not one to preach. There is nothing I can really do, & not much else I can say. I try to be accepting of my own condition, & to acknowledge it. I hope that things work out for you. keep posting, it is good to share. X

 

[Dory]

Hi,I've also stopped all my medication in the past too,I always end up sectioned.it takes a long time for the medication to leave your system completely,and your brain wonders what the heck is going on.its great you come on here and post.there are names for the hallucinations that people experience when falling asleep and waking up,I can't remember what there called,hypnocognic,I'm not sure.im glad you have a therapy group to go to.hang in there.x