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Am i developing schizophrenia?

Billy91

Billy91

Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Billingham, uk
I have schizotypal which, for anyone who doesnt know, is like a sub class of schizophrenia which is characterised by eccentricity, strange beliefs and paranoid ideations. Also, according to the guy who diagnosed me years ago, im at high risk of developing paranoid schizophrenia.

So more to the point, i overdosed the other night, and if you cant geuss i was unsuccessful. Ive never been closer to a successful attempt but as per usual i chickened out and told someone and so got rushed to the hospital but the ambulance took ages to the point of vomiting and my limbs not working properly. So the point im taking too long to make is i was on the floor unable to move when i hear from the hallway outside the room i was in a hushed, almost whispered, but totally audible "hi" in a womans voice. At first i assumed it was the paramedics so i shouted them in and all that happened was another "hi". It went on for a little while and i started freaking out, every five seconds or so i heard it again. I begged them to leave and even threatened, but it continued. I know it sounds pretty tame but ive never been more scared in my life.

Aside from this ive been convinced someone is living in my flat for the past few weeks because i keep hearing people move around my house or run up the stairs. Ive investigated every where they could be when i hear it and there is no one here.

Oh and im 99 percent convinced im either in a simulated reality which is actually my own personal prison for some horrible thing i did in the real reality or its a actually my own personal hell and you and everyone else are demons. I accept that maybe im just crazy but it would explain why i cant die from suicide. There is no escape.

Rantrantrantrantrant, sorry for the chapter and a half but i didnt wanna leave anything out.

What do you guys think? Im considering telling my therapist about these things but i dont feel i can trust any one on this planet. you guys think that sounds like schizophrenia though? You all would know better than me given you already deal with it.
 
L

linus

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 27, 2019
Messages
1,718
Location
Eastern Europe
Even if you don’t trust them, given your current situation it would be better to at least try something than staying promiscuous.
 
Billy91

Billy91

Member
Joined
Mar 20, 2020
Messages
24
Location
Billingham, uk
You know what, no one bother replying to this thread. Im so done with humans or trying to fit in anywhere, i dont know why i bothered joining anymore or why i keep opening my motuh when all that spews out is rotten garbage.
And this isnt a lil boohoo or anything, im just sick and tired of being me and being trapped on this floating rock with 7 billion pricks. Peace, good luck, i hope you eat each other alive.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
926
sorry to hear youre having such an awful time billy91.....people probably just find it ahrd sometimes to give advice.....you may be schizophrenic but u need to consult a shrink......and by theway suicide is never the answer.....there are always people who care.

I overdosed myself once when I was in my 20's but things do improve.....youre having it tough right now.....I hope things improve for you soon.....you should get yourself checked in to psych hospital to get some TLC.
 
K

karl7

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 9, 2013
Messages
926
I know what its like to be so cynical like youself......I personally have shag all going for me, I have no friends, no girlfriends, never even had sex, have social anxiety which isolates me further and then I have schizophrenia and depression on top of all that......im a college drop out twice due to crippling social anxiety, I have bugger all money and have no job prospects BUT im past my twenties now and life has come a bit better.....the 20's are a real tough time but as you get in to ur thirties things improve......I feel very deeply for you in the position youre in, I know whats its like, BUT there are people who care, the mist on your life will lift soon and you become a lot stronger then others as you age.....anyway, I hope things improve for you, we here are all looking out for you! Keep up posting here on the forum!
 
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