Am i depressed???

[lespaul1960]

Hey guys i'm new and think i may be depressed. I'm 19 (20 in october) Even as i'm writing this now i feel as if i just want to well up. Almost a year ago i was in a accident where a pedestrian walked out into the road in front of me. I slammed the brakes and tried to swerve but to no avail. The man went through 2 operations to fix a broken bone (the re-done the first operation) he then died 9 days after the accident from a blood clot. I found out at the start of the year that after the police had checked everything about 6 months before, and they said that it was an accident and they had witnesses statements to say that. I am now due to go to court for careless driving (not anything to do with the man die-ing) and Since this happened i have been a lot more tired, feeling a lot more anxious and nervous about everything, I used to play my guitar every day now i'm lucky if i play it once a week and have just lost interest in most things. But now my girlfriend (the one constant in my life for the past 5 years) has changed a lot being moody and very horrible, for no apparent reason (and she's not cheating or anything). I now feel even worse as if the world is against me, and have admittedly contemplaited suicide on occasion, but then i think of my mum, dad and bro and don't think i could have them upset. Can anyone give me some advice?

 

[Twylight]

Hello LesPaul and welcome

I'm sorry to hear what your going through, but accidents happen every day

I lost a girlfriend to suicide and I punished myself for years

I'm a stronger man for it
I think i first started doing charity work, because I had a guilty conscience

No doubt you constantly ask yourself if there's any way you could have avoided it
You might not think at the moment that you'll ever get over it - but life goes on and time does heal

 

[Apotheosis]

Time is a healer.

 

[shaun3210]

Hi LesPaul have you spoke to your GP about how you are feeling?
A event such as you described is very traumatic and it might be good to get some advice from a professional about it.