Am i depressed?

[K8122]

Im not really sure where to start. For the past year i have days where i feel really low, i dont know why i feel low. I feel like crying a lot but i dont know why. I have thoughts about leaving the house and just not coming back. I am marries with 3 children and i love my husband and children more than anything in the world, i dont want to leave them, i couldnt live without them but i still get thoughts of just going and not returning even though thats not what i want. Some days i am completely fine and happy and i sit wondering why i was so low and why i feel the way i do on other days because my life is good but the the next day i can be so low again.
I keep trying to smile through it and pretend that im ok, i dont want to tell my husband because he has adhd and struggles to understand or cope with new or hard situations. I am supposed to be the strong one in our family but now im starting to feel like a failure.

 

[lindyhop]

Im not really sure where to start. For the past year i have days where i feel really low, i dont know why i feel low. I feel like crying a lot but i dont know why. I have thoughts about leaving the house and just not coming back. I am marries with 3 children and i love my husband and children more than anything in the world, i dont want to leave them, i couldnt live without them but i still get thoughts of just going and not returning even though thats not what i want. Some days i am completely fine and happy and i sit wondering why i was so low and why i feel the way i do on other days because my life is good but the the next day i can be so low again.
I keep trying to smile through it and pretend that im ok, i dont want to tell my husband because he has adhd and struggles to understand or cope with new or hard situations. I am supposed to be the strong one in our family but now im starting to feel like a failure.

As I'm sure others will attest, you are not a failure. You are strong enough to tell your story to others, which is the first step towards getting better. I would use the following link to be sure for yourself how you are feeling.

 

[fluffpill]

we all feel depressed from time to time. even people who are neurotypical also feel low sometimes. it's alright. you might not be clinically depressed, but you feel depressed at the moment. 'it might pass' unless you think you need psychiatric help and you want to get psychiatric help then it's up to you.

 

[treasurebox]

There will be better days for you. Create happy moments because happiness is a choice. The Creator has given you enough strength for each day.

Listening to good and uplifting songs on youtube helps. Music is therapeutic and empowering.

 

[Jo458]

Im not really sure where to start. For the past year i have days where i feel really low, i dont know why i feel low. I feel like crying a lot but i dont know why. I have thoughts about leaving the house and just not coming back. I am marries with 3 children and i love my husband and children more than anything in the world, i dont want to leave them, i couldnt live without them but i still get thoughts of just going and not returning even though thats not what i want. Some days i am completely fine and happy and i sit wondering why i was so low and why i feel the way i do on other days because my life is good but the the next day i can be so low again.
I keep trying to smile through it and pretend that im ok, i dont want to tell my husband because he has adhd and struggles to understand or cope with new or hard situations. I am supposed to be the strong one in our family but now im starting to feel like a failure.

When you say you have to be the strong one in your family and you're feeling like a failure, that sounds to me like you're under a lot of pressure and you're blaming yourself for struggling a little with the stress. Having thoughts of leaving might just be your mind's way of coping, but if you talked it out with a therapist, you might arrive at strategies to manage whatever stressors might be triggering the thought.