J
juicer
Member
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2008
- Messages
- 12
hello everybody. here is how i've beein feeling the past year and a half.
i no longer have fun with anything. life to me seems harder to keep living than to just stop. i'm in college, i don't really have any close friends. and i dont forsee it happening because my next huge problem is that i can't even connect with people.
on top of feeling down every single day, when i talk to others i try to be upbeat and happy, but what happens is i cannot even have a regular conversation with them. my thoughts distract me, and a lot of time i say things that i dont really want to say, and i dont even know why i say them. then once i se myself doing this, it makes me even more depresssed.
last nite i visted a couple of my old high school friends and i just stood there most of the nite. i probably looked like i was mad, but the truth is that i wasn't mad, i just didnt know what to do. i coudlnt contribute to conversations because i couldn't follow the situation. it feels like my brain and my body are on two different pages and working against each other.
then i smoked a blunt with a couple of my friends thinking it would make things better, but it only got worse. i jus sat like a zombie questioning everything around me. and i was like just in another universe.
i could not speak from the heart, speaking in general is so difficult, and that makes me anxious as well. i dont know whats wrong with me but its getting to the point now where i think i have a serious mental problem, because i know i am not acting normally
i no longer have fun with anything. life to me seems harder to keep living than to just stop. i'm in college, i don't really have any close friends. and i dont forsee it happening because my next huge problem is that i can't even connect with people.
on top of feeling down every single day, when i talk to others i try to be upbeat and happy, but what happens is i cannot even have a regular conversation with them. my thoughts distract me, and a lot of time i say things that i dont really want to say, and i dont even know why i say them. then once i se myself doing this, it makes me even more depresssed.
last nite i visted a couple of my old high school friends and i just stood there most of the nite. i probably looked like i was mad, but the truth is that i wasn't mad, i just didnt know what to do. i coudlnt contribute to conversations because i couldn't follow the situation. it feels like my brain and my body are on two different pages and working against each other.
then i smoked a blunt with a couple of my friends thinking it would make things better, but it only got worse. i jus sat like a zombie questioning everything around me. and i was like just in another universe.
i could not speak from the heart, speaking in general is so difficult, and that makes me anxious as well. i dont know whats wrong with me but its getting to the point now where i think i have a serious mental problem, because i know i am not acting normally