am i depressed??

[juicer]

hello everybody. here is how i've beein feeling the past year and a half.

i no longer have fun with anything. life to me seems harder to keep living than to just stop. i'm in college, i don't really have any close friends. and i dont forsee it happening because my next huge problem is that i can't even connect with people.

on top of feeling down every single day, when i talk to others i try to be upbeat and happy, but what happens is i cannot even have a regular conversation with them. my thoughts distract me, and a lot of time i say things that i dont really want to say, and i dont even know why i say them. then once i se myself doing this, it makes me even more depresssed.

last nite i visted a couple of my old high school friends and i just stood there most of the nite. i probably looked like i was mad, but the truth is that i wasn't mad, i just didnt know what to do. i coudlnt contribute to conversations because i couldn't follow the situation. it feels like my brain and my body are on two different pages and working against each other.

then i smoked a blunt with a couple of my friends thinking it would make things better, but it only got worse. i jus sat like a zombie questioning everything around me. and i was like just in another universe.

i could not speak from the heart, speaking in general is so difficult, and that makes me anxious as well. i dont know whats wrong with me but its getting to the point now where i think i have a serious mental problem, because i know i am not acting normally

 

[intelgal]

HI there welcome to the forum....



many of the syptoms you describe sound like those charecterics of someone who is depressed but nobody on here is qualified on here to diagnose. Could you see your GP or practice nurse and tell them some of the things you ve been feeling. I am assuing you ve smoked canabis.. its prob worth mentioning this to them they wont judge you but it can help them is they have all the information and they could maybe put you in the right direction and offer some support.

 

[juicer]

i think i am going to talk to someone. another thing i want to add is that i seem to just hate evetyhitng, its like i can only see the bad and not the good in things

 

[intelgal]

Again def worth mentioning to who you talk to. I went form beena bit of a tv addict to hating even been in the same room as a TV .. I preferred my bed and radio!

Now I am alittle better I can spend longer epriods of time watching TV but i it takes some effort sometimes!

 

[Twylight]

is it a case of: there's nothing you want to do and there's nowhere you want to be ?

 

[Twylight]

is it a case of: there's nothing you want to do and there's nowhere you want to be ?

This is how I feel because of my medication - I really have to force myself to do everything ( depressive ).

 

[Twylight]

Has anything happened in the last 18 months ?

 

[Twylight]

Has anything happened in the last 18 months ?

Are you at College away from home perhaps ?

 

[Twylight]

Did you have any special interests when you were at High school ?

Welcome to the forum - sorry bit late

 

[Dollit]

Speaking as one who really knows Juicer - non prescribed drugs will not help you to change the way you're feeling they only ever make things worse.

The best thing to do is to go to your GP and talk of how you're feeling. Be honest.

If you have trouble talking just print out your first post and take that - edit it if you feel you have to and keep coming back here.

 

[juicer]

i moved away from home over to college 2 hours away 2 and a half years ago.

i cant adjust. high school was so fun and i loved everyone there, college is so much different and ive had some problems with friends from high school at college. i didnt know if i should hang out with them or meet new ppl and that was a big problem for me.

now i'm more self conscious then ever, i have the lowest self esteem i've ever had.

and yea its like there is no where i want to be and nothing i want to be doing. i would actually like to be laying on the beach in 100 degree weather, but other than that, no matter where i am or what i am doing, i am thinking to myself, this sucks.

my parents tell me like .. "well what are you expecting?" and i can't answer because i dont know, i'm just down in the dumps, i can't seem to get a hold of my life, and its just a terrible feeling not being happy. i feel like i have no friends, and i completely forgot how to have fun.

this is all coming from a kid that used to be a really fun person to hang out with. which makes it even harder to deal with how things are going

 

[juicer]

also i dont know what hte problem is that is causing this... part of me feels like it is college. i hate college, i hate having to do work, its just so hard for me. and i feel like i dont have a life. i cannot really do things that i want to do because i am in college. i feel like i can't live.. like my life is put on pause. and i have no direction

 

[Dollit]

The adjustment between college and high school is huge and few people make it easily. Some people never do. The responsibility is huge - you go from a small environment where you're guided through things into a big place where the onus is on you to succeed. You still sound as though you're out of your depth. Have you a college counsellor?

 

[Twylight]

also i dont know what hte problem is that is causing this... part of me feels like it is college. i hate college, i hate having to do work, its just so hard for me. and i feel like i dont have a life. i cannot really do things that i want to do because i am in college. i feel like i can't live.. like my life is put on pause. and i have no direction

Yep, college is not for everyone

I'm always interested what people wanted to do when they were 14/15

I did an electrical apprentiship, but I was more interested in photography and playin' guitar

 

[juicer]

i feel like college is ruining my life right now. i never wanted to go.. but i HAVE to in order to succeed .. according to everyone else. i only have a year left, but the mental stress and mania it has caused is killing me and i hope i can recover.

i have seen a counselor, but it was for anxiety, but that didtn help much, then i recently got seen and dxed with adhd, but i dont thin i even have that either. i think the main thing is i am depressed and cannot overcome it, but i have never seen anyone for depression. and i'm afraid that drugs will make it worse