- Mar 31, 2016
I am in my early 20s and in my final year at uni. I haven't been feeling good for a long time now but recently iv been feeling worse. I have periods where I feel extremely low and struggle to get on with my daily life often not getting out of bed one or two days a week. During these periods I can't socialise with people and avoid my friends struggling to even have a conversation or make eye contact. After these periods I feel numb , hopeless and feel like I'm just going through the motions doing the bare minimum and having to sleep for a couple of hours every day as well as 8+ hours at night. I haven't felt excited, optimistic or truly happy for well over a year but because iv been functioning I have been telling myself I'm ok but when I look at my friends they are in relationships and socialise a lot and are enjoying life and I realise how empty my life has become as I have no interest in a relationship and am feeling very distant from my friends and family and don't really want to be alive anymore. I also feel really guilty for feeling like this because there is no reason I feel like this I have a good family and friends and am very lucky. I think my family have noticed a change in me often telling me I'm negative and miserable but iv been like this for so long they just think this is my personality now. I haven't spoken to anyone about this because I find it really difficult to talk about things and don't know who to talk to / how to say it. I am thinking about going to the doctors as a last resort but am scared if they send me away with no help I will lose my last bit of hope that I can stop feeling like this - is this depression? What should I do?