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Am I depressed ? If not, why do I feel so miserable ?

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ste1200

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2009
Messages
8
Hi, for some time now I've felt deep down really miserable.

I'm 30, male, slightly underweight, but with no serious health problems.

I shouldn't be unhappy, I've got a house, a steady job albeit not well paid, but its a job and a steady income with some possibilities for improvement. I have just got engaged to my long term girlfriend and have a positive future.

However I just always feel so tired and miserable. It all seemed to begin when I got gastritis 2 and half years ago. At that time I was drinking alot, smoking and had a terrible diet. Since then I've had all sorts of stomach and bowel problems, which for the time being have seemed to subside.

Since that point, I have stopped drinking alcohol almost all together. I have a very dry mouth alot of the time and alcohol makes it alot worse. I also am scared of how I will feel hungover. I have also stopped smoking and now have a healthy diet.

I seem to have turned my life around but instead of feeling good, I feel worse that ever.

As I don't go out drinking, I have pretty much lost all my friends, and don't go out socialising.

My job is stressful and I also have another couple of jobs to keep the money coming in, so I am busy, but not over-busy.

I don't know how to relax, I do yoga which helps, but I always seem to have racing thoughts. I often think of the past: stupid things from years and years ago that repeat over and over. Things that embarrassed me, but wouldnt have been a big deal to anyone else. Things that pleased me, again little things, compliments I have been given, that normally would be forgotten about 2 minutes after they happen, but I am remembering them 15 years down the line.

I don't really exercise, mainly being because I get really hot and can't seem to cool down. I also don't really like the feeling of being exhausted.

I feel so tired and my back, neck and shoulders seem to ache constantly. My eyes are really sore and I they are really sensitive to light. I get hot flushes from time to time and often feel overwhelmed for no reason. I think I have a phobia of being ill. If I get a sore throat for example, it will do my head in, and I will obsess about it. I just can't seem to snap out of this hole I am in.

Last Friday I had a sigmoidoscopy which came back normal. Instead of feeling happy and relieved, I was worrying that I could have picked up an infection in the hospital. I really struggle to find pleasure in anything. I constantly think about life and the way everything works, I can't seem to just live normally and be happy.

Am I depressed ? I feel so alone in the way I feel.

Ste
 
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jamesdean

Guest
I certainly feel that you should see your gp perhaps print off this post and show it to them.
 
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ste1200

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2009
Messages
8
Why do u think this please ?
 
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ste1200

Member
Joined
Nov 25, 2009
Messages
8
Does anybody else have any thoughts on this ?
 
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Apotheosis

Guest
Hi STE1200

Stress can have an immense effect on our well being. That is one thing.

You say that you had an unhealthy lifestyle. That can take years to recover from - there are no quick fixes - I'm over 8 years in T-Total recovery from 17 years in Addiction - Despite a small slip. Well, I see it as being early days still; some days I still feel done in, a lot of that I am sure is from what I did to myself for 17 years.

I too have looked long & hard for answers to how I have felt with many things.

Lets face facts - there is a vast array of reasons as to why we feel bad - from a soul-less society; to the stresses of modern living; pollution, & all sorts, to other less apparent potential causes.

It may be the circles I move in - but people don't seem well - no one does; really; I have observed that everyone appears to be getting sicker. Why is that? - I would think that there are a plethora of reasons, some highly complex, & on a multiple of levels. What the solution is?; is also a hard question.

Bio-Medicine supplied me with no kind of solution or answers - I have sought out my own explanations & answers.
 
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