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Am i being bullied or am i over reacting?

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sarahlou93

New member
Joined
Jan 15, 2015
Messages
3
Can someone tell me what to do here...am i being bullied in work or am i over reacting.

Its got to the stage where i dread going to work because of that one person who constantly picks and nags at me, stares at me makes me feel uncomfortable and is just horrible in every way possible. Everything i do is wrong and seems to be a problem, shes forever putting me down and giving me the 'silent' treatment.

Its having a huge impact one me to the point where i am constantly down and worrying about work. I cant sleep thinking about going there and cry all the time for no reason especially when I leave there. I have also started suffering from what i think is anxiety and worried it will lead to panic attacks(suffered from these before). I am so stressed out about this. Any advise?
 
Wiseowl

Wiseowl

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 13, 2011
Messages
8,419
Hi Sarahlou93

Sorry to hear this happening to you. :hug1:

I think in some ways you have answered your own question. Given how you have said you are feeling because of what is happening at work with this person, it is obviously affecting you. So in my opinion it does not matter what other people might think or how they would react, because it is impacting on your MH.

Do you have a line manager, someone in human resources or a union representative you can discuss the matter with. :hug1:

It might also be beneficial to see your doctor and explain how you are feeling, so you can support for your MH, whilst the issues is being sorted. :hug1:

You should not be dealing with this on your own, we all need support and help at times.
 
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remembercolinlee

New member
Joined
Feb 16, 2015
Messages
3
I used to be a union rep and have been in a union for 30yrs and what you describe is very common unfortunately.
I used to advise peopleto keep a diary of events with dates, times, brief description and names of those present...this helps you see if it is every day, week or month etc. so you can see how serious it is and if there is a pattern to the incidents. I would contact your union rep if there is one as others may be having the same peoblem. If you are not in a union it is worth joining as they are very supportive. If there is no union in your workplace you can still join one...just go online to find the most suitable one.

I hope you find a resolution as we spend a lot of time in work and fear or stress of workmates has a huge impact.

Good luck
 
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DragonflyDreams

New member
Joined
Mar 9, 2015
Messages
3
You're not over reacting sweetie. If one individual is making you feel so awful on purpose, that is bullying. What you need to remember is that it is her with the problem, not you. You are more than likely fine just the way you are, and the only reason she would be that horrible to you is either 1) She is jealous of you, or 2) She is threatened by your skills/presence in the job. After all, would you EVER treat anybody the way she is treating you? Would ANY decent person treat anybody that way? No, they wouldn't.

You could talk to her about it, but she sounds like the type of melodramatic person who would probably take things too far. The best thing to do would be to remember how great you are, hold your head high and show her you don't care. She talks down to you? Laugh it off, She gives you the silent treatment? Hum a happy tune to yourself and pretend you don't notice. It might not be how you really feel, but she will eventually start to believe that her behavior isn't affecting you at all, and soon enough, this will be true.

Get to know other people at work better. Become friendly with them, if they all like you, you will feel much stronger knowing you have friends on your side. That one person will seem so insignificant that it won't even matter anymore.

Worst case scenario, talk to a trusted authority. Your boss, your supervisor, someone who won't cause more drama.

The most important thing is that you don't let this person change your opinion of yourself. Surround yourself with people who think you are great the way you are, and you'll soon see how petty this persons behavior is, she has serious issues.
 
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quietsecret

Member
Joined
Feb 6, 2015
Messages
23
Not over reacting at all. It sounds like covert bullying which I am going through at the moment too so I understand what it's like to feel okay but then feel so depressed once in the workplace. It's hard because we do wonder if we are just being too sensitive but it's definitely bullying. Is there someone at work you can speak to or in human resource? Sometimes just in confidence? It may help to have a listening ear or just to get out if the office. I tend to keep things inside and I feel like I can't trust anyone at work to not tell the bullies so when it does get too much I get out of the office for 20 mins and sit somewhere quiet like the stairwell or just the bathroom to calm down and breathe. May not be the best advice but you can also try browsing for other jobs. I hope it gets better for you soon.
 
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