- Apr 6, 2015
Recently I've been extremely anxious as I have a lot of stressful events going on relating to exams and getting a job (More and more stress is pilling up). I've been anxious due to the fact that I am always alone and have little to no friends and am becoming more and more depressed because I have no one to talk to or I just spend too much time alone to be socially/mentally healthy. When I am being social I feel so on edge the whole time and can't share my interests with others (even my family) because anxious feelings block it from coming out and after I beat myself up over it like "why couldn't I just have talked or said how I felt like normal people". All the anxiety is what seems to cause my depressed feelings. I am not clinicaly diagnosed with neither anxiety or depression because I'm too scared to admit how I feel to anyone due to anxious feelings or telling myself "what if". I'm really scared that my depression is worsening because I have been feeling like I'm being blocked from feeling any excitement to things I should be excited about. I also feel kind of numb or like I just woke up from a nap and am half asleep. These feelings started at the beginning of the week after accomplishing something I was really anxious about and I feel like I should have felt huge relief after It was over, as I do usually, but this time I didn't. I'm really really terrified because I don't understand what is wrong with me and I don't want to cry atleast two times a day anymore and spend so much time worrying about why I feel the way I do.