I
imnotshortimfunsized
Member
Hey... I'm new here, so I'm kind of nervous and that...
I hate myself, I wish I could look like all the skinny, beautiful women on TV. I've hinted once or twice to my parents that I want to lose weight. One time she was showing off to my aunt about her new jeans that were a size twelve, and I said "you're only a size bigger than me, I feel fat now!" (I'm nearly 15, and my own mother's only 1 size bigger than me!) and she replied with "you're not fat, don't be stupid, its just your height". But I'm not all that tall, I'm about 5"6.
I've been told by countless people that I'm not fat, but I don't feel that way. I comfort eat. I tried making myself throw up after meals, but I can't seem to do it, so I started avoiding food. My first attempt, I went four days without eating, but then gave in, and I hated myself even more for that. Then I went a bit longer, and again gave in. Then I tried it again, but ate a little bit every day to try to keep my hunger away. I lasted a bit longer, but eventually gave in again. Then recently I've been ill, so I lost my appetite completely, and haven't eaten for a while. I lost half a stone in four days, and I'm really happy with myself for loosing the weight, but I'm scared I'm going to put it all back on.
I was telling the school councellor person about all this, and she asked me about me feelings around it and other stuff that they always ask, then said that if she feels I may be in danger she'll have to tell my head of year, and they'll contact my parents. But I'm curious, one teacher already knows (I feel I can talk to her because she had a lot of problems surrounding low self esteem and anorexia, and we both get on well) and she said that she felt exactly the same as I described to her, and she did the same. She said that I may be anorexic, but the school councellor hasn't told me, and I don't know how to approach her and ask about it.
Do you guys think I may be anorexic?
Thanks for reading all this
I know it was kind of long, but it just seemed there was so much to write.
I hate myself, I wish I could look like all the skinny, beautiful women on TV. I've hinted once or twice to my parents that I want to lose weight. One time she was showing off to my aunt about her new jeans that were a size twelve, and I said "you're only a size bigger than me, I feel fat now!" (I'm nearly 15, and my own mother's only 1 size bigger than me!) and she replied with "you're not fat, don't be stupid, its just your height". But I'm not all that tall, I'm about 5"6.
I've been told by countless people that I'm not fat, but I don't feel that way. I comfort eat. I tried making myself throw up after meals, but I can't seem to do it, so I started avoiding food. My first attempt, I went four days without eating, but then gave in, and I hated myself even more for that. Then I went a bit longer, and again gave in. Then I tried it again, but ate a little bit every day to try to keep my hunger away. I lasted a bit longer, but eventually gave in again. Then recently I've been ill, so I lost my appetite completely, and haven't eaten for a while. I lost half a stone in four days, and I'm really happy with myself for loosing the weight, but I'm scared I'm going to put it all back on.
I was telling the school councellor person about all this, and she asked me about me feelings around it and other stuff that they always ask, then said that if she feels I may be in danger she'll have to tell my head of year, and they'll contact my parents. But I'm curious, one teacher already knows (I feel I can talk to her because she had a lot of problems surrounding low self esteem and anorexia, and we both get on well) and she said that she felt exactly the same as I described to her, and she did the same. She said that I may be anorexic, but the school councellor hasn't told me, and I don't know how to approach her and ask about it.
Do you guys think I may be anorexic?
Thanks for reading all this
I know it was kind of long, but it just seemed there was so much to write.