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Am I a stalker?!!!



Well-known member
Aug 7, 2009
Hi there,

I've rambled on here several times recently about a friendship that had fallen apart. I'm still really sad about it now but the things my former friend said in his last communication have really, really worried me ...

I was severely depressed when our friendship came to an end and I really don't have too much clarity about the past couple of months. I know I contacted him several times after he'd asked to sever ties. I do remember that I kept doing it because I never felt that I had articulated properly what I needed to say, and ultimately I was convinced there was something I could say that would change his mind.

So, I've no idea really how many times I texted/emailed him, possibly a few times a week, although I know I only tried to call him on a few occasions. In his last message to me he reiterated that he would make no further contact, said that I was harassing him and referred to me as an 'obsessive stalker'.

I've since become quite obsessed (ironically!) with this, not least because it upsets me greatly to think that I've put him through any kind of mental distress. I accept that it's the point of no return as far as he goes but I'm also quite worried about my mental well-being. I'm just about okay with accepting I'm bipolar but I'm confused as to whether this behaviour is syptomatic of the illness, or something totally seperate. According to numerous websites my actions do pretty much equate to stalking but I know there's absolutely no dark side to it for me - never any intention or desire to cause distress or harm. But is this something I need to address on top of bipolar?

I'm really confused and wondered if anyone has any suggestions? I've stopped the communications for the past two weeks and no intention to pick it up again. that much I do know. I'm really scared I might have something else wrong with me though?! I really don't want to be a stalker!!


Former member
Hi the thing is no one is able to offer more than support really here which I hope helps maybe you need to have some cbt or simmilar therapy, do you see a mental health team they can offer more guidance.

You are doing well not to contact this person further take it has their loss, dont get todown if you can help it n try to move on with your life.
Take care warm regards JD


Well-known member
May 26, 2009
Hi there,I don't think that you're a stalker often when a relationship ends sometimes you just don't want to belive or accept it's really over,I've been there myself,just give it some time and take care of yourself hugs
Wendy x


Oct 20, 2009
It may be a bit late to answer this as I hae just stumbled over it. I am new here but recognise what you ae saying. I have been in a complicated relationship fr a few years and it has been on and off...when it has been off I havefound I difficult to acept this and have definitely overstepped many boundaries and disregarded privacy. It is a difficult one ot know if it is simply a case of finding it very hard to let go...I wonder if time i in fact a healer and wonder how you ae doing now? Or if it does have something o do with our condition (I too have bipolar II). I spoke to a friend..well a friend of my partners in fact and she said that all women have the tendancy to snoop for information if they feel they are not getting the truth and that she too had done this and was not proud of it but she needed to know..she had checked her boyfriends emails...she has no mh problems but obviously some trust issues. I do too and have done te same. Makes me feel pretty rubbish overall but at the tme I just wanted to know what was going on. I know this is much worsethan what you are saying and it does sound like you have just found it hard to accept theend...it is a hard thing to know that you are the centre of someones world one minute and that they hink very little of you the next. I kept phoning too when I knew I shouldnt...chasing makes it worse...makes you seem less attractive somehow...I know this and yet I still do it. My friend hid my phone for a whole day and said she would let me know where it was at the end of the day. Of course he had phoned loads. Its like the opposite works...if you dont phone then he is keen, if you do, he is not. What a muddle...sorry..this is probably not helpful at all :(