E
Erudinam
Active member
Ι took a half used water bottle from the kitchen with me and went to bed. I did not drinnk from it. I learned while in bed, that there were new, "closed" water bottles in the kitchen.
At that moment, some of my intrusive thoughts were telling me to take the half-used bottle, leave it in the kitchen and take a new one. I was worrying that there were chances that my brother drunk from that half-used bottle directly. What if he was asymptomatic? His voice sounded a little raspy. I was thinking that if I drink from that half-used bottle that my brother MAY have drunk directly, I MAY get the covid virus and spread it to other people and I may cause death IF in case my brother has the virus. Due to an ocd reason, I did not want to change the bottle. Besides, I was lazy to get up from bed and I did not want to obey what my intrusive thoughts were telling me. Something, just, did not feel right.
Even though my intrusive thoughts had a point, (we have pandemia and we need to be cautious) I was thinking that I am worrying too much about it. Also, as I said previously, I did not want to do what my intrusive thoughts were telling me for an other ocd reason.
So, I thought that everything was ocd and the best thing is to ignore it. I rushly, decided to drink from that half-used bottle. I started worrying a little. What if I decided to risk getting the virus and somehow, spread it to other people (and maybe causing death) just because, I was too lazy to get up and get a new one? I think, I was not just, lazy, I was also anxious for an other ocd reason and also, I did not want to do what my intrusive thoughts were telling me. I asked my brother if he drunk from that bottle and he told me that he did not and that my father is using that bottle to put water to his cup. So, probably, no one drunk from mit directly.
But, still, I was a little worried because I learned that AFTER I drunk from it. I was not sure that my brother did not drunk from it when I drunk it. I worry because my ocd is telling me something like this:
ocd: you are lazy! you were not sure that your brother did not drink from it, when you drunk it. You risked getting the virus and spreading to other people and maybe causing death just because you were lazy to get up from bed and get a new one. Maybe Gods punished you for risking other people's lives indirectly, You only had to get a new bottle.
At that moment, some of my intrusive thoughts were telling me to take the half-used bottle, leave it in the kitchen and take a new one. I was worrying that there were chances that my brother drunk from that half-used bottle directly. What if he was asymptomatic? His voice sounded a little raspy. I was thinking that if I drink from that half-used bottle that my brother MAY have drunk directly, I MAY get the covid virus and spread it to other people and I may cause death IF in case my brother has the virus. Due to an ocd reason, I did not want to change the bottle. Besides, I was lazy to get up from bed and I did not want to obey what my intrusive thoughts were telling me. Something, just, did not feel right.
Even though my intrusive thoughts had a point, (we have pandemia and we need to be cautious) I was thinking that I am worrying too much about it. Also, as I said previously, I did not want to do what my intrusive thoughts were telling me for an other ocd reason.
So, I thought that everything was ocd and the best thing is to ignore it. I rushly, decided to drink from that half-used bottle. I started worrying a little. What if I decided to risk getting the virus and somehow, spread it to other people (and maybe causing death) just because, I was too lazy to get up and get a new one? I think, I was not just, lazy, I was also anxious for an other ocd reason and also, I did not want to do what my intrusive thoughts were telling me. I asked my brother if he drunk from that bottle and he told me that he did not and that my father is using that bottle to put water to his cup. So, probably, no one drunk from mit directly.
But, still, I was a little worried because I learned that AFTER I drunk from it. I was not sure that my brother did not drunk from it when I drunk it. I worry because my ocd is telling me something like this:
ocd: you are lazy! you were not sure that your brother did not drink from it, when you drunk it. You risked getting the virus and spreading to other people and maybe causing death just because you were lazy to get up from bed and get a new one. Maybe Gods punished you for risking other people's lives indirectly, You only had to get a new bottle.