am I a slave?

[abertha]

I was lying in bed thinking about why im so miserable. I think its because I have no life of my own - everything I do is about other people, I go out of my way to try to make them comfortable, I can see it now, how humble I am to everyone, even strangers.

The worst is with my boyfriend, I think. I moved to this country for him which means I gave up my life, and now I am just all day waiting for him to get home from work. Everything I do, it's always for him or someone else, never for me.

I was thinking about what I would like to do - if someone said I could do anything, I have no idea what I would say. Its like im empty by myself. I dont know what to do, there is nothing I want to do, but I dont want to stay empty.

What's wrong with me?

 

[rasselas]

the answer is always in the question

Like I say, the answer is always in the question. Actually, that isn't strictly true. Often the answer is unavailable in the question, because the right question isn't being asked. The solution to your problem is right there in your description of the problem. I don't wish to patronise you, so I won't stick my finger in your eye. We are, to a greater or lesser degree, slaves to our situations. But for the slave to become free, he/she must rise up against the master, against the oppression. In America the old-timey psychiatrists would have a diagnosis for slaves that ran away. Of course, they weren't ill. They were as healthy as healthy can be. I'm not saying run away! But think outside of your enslavement. You are free to be as free as you wish to be. First, break the chains that bind you. Then, emerge into the world as an individual on your own terms. Never live your life subjugated to the will and drive of another human being. That is a death in life. Embrace your freedom. It's right there, waitingf for you. Live and breathe and be free!

 

[diddypinks]

hi

hello there ive been feeling a bit like that of late i get very down at times but the fact is that one day we are going to die each moment is precious you are a very caring person you thats not necessarily a bad thing have you thought about working for age concern there is an old person probably not very far away from you that would love a visitor old people are soooooooo isolated and some dont see anybody for weeks. i worked for age concern as a volunteer befriender and they are lovely people and you just go for a cup of tea and by helping others it helps you ffeel good about yourself they are literally crying out for people its always a bit akward at first but then its just like going a chatting with a friend. also go easy on yourself you have a very serious illness you are doing the best you can yoga is another thing that i have found helpful you can buy dvds online goodluck and be well diddy

 

[muddymud]

i have been diagnosed with schitzaphrenia and have just come out of rehab which for me worked wonders.

i feel for what you said in your last post and hope you feel better soon.

i did two things at rehab the first was cbt for me this worked in a way that gives you the power to say no to people which then gives you more time to make yourself happy

more interesting though was solution focus which says

"you fall asleep and the next morning when you wake something has changed to make your life better"

for example you may have turned into a horse rider or you may have a beautiful house with a beautiful garden.

from there you then try to simplify the miricle that has happened as in for the person who, on their miricle day, turned into a hourse rider they may wish to get a voluntary job at a stables. or the person who had the beautiful house may wish to start a course in flower arranging or interior design.

this is all very hypertheticle as i dont know what you love in life if for example its cats which are a personal favourite of mine.. i had a friend who worked for a short period for the rspca on a voluntary basis.

all these sort of things will give you time to meet new and interesting people and if its an interest of yours the people you meet will relate to you instantly.

well good luck i know its tuff but trust me when it all settles down life aint so bad

muddymud