- Nov 19, 2021
No I do not regret being honest with my family. We all know where we stand now. My wife now understands who I am a lot better now - this does not mean she can always accept who I am - and I have learnt to accept that (not without significant frustration at times).
A third of the family who know about my mental health issues (including my wife and daughter) seem to feel that their lives will bear the taint of 'stigma by proxy' - if I can call it that - if they accept this part of who I am. The rest of the family (those I grew up with my sons) just accept this is Aurelius. At worst they see me as always having been a 'bit different', a 'bit mad/insane -especially in my younger years), or 'just weird'. These are descriptions that are frequently used in the family about many of its members.
My wife and her family have always viewed my family as being a 'bit abnormal' and at best a 'bit different, but interesting'.
My mother never forgave me for being as I was and as I am - although she proudly took ownership any achievements I accomplished that received some external recognition. Outside of this, she treated me as if I was deranged and had been sent to do evil to her life - to the extent that she held me to blame for much that had happened long before I was conceived. My emotional detachment (from birth) just served to confirm this, as did my subsequent attempts to discuss any of these issues across the next forty odd years.
So did you mask up until a certain point? I'm glad you don't have regrets but what was there to gain beyond not living your own personal lie anymore? Or was the negative secondary effects still worth just being able to be open and honest?