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AM I a mug

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lisax

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
3
so myself and my partner have been together 6 years, i have trust issues after been sexually assulted as a child, after about a year my sister was staying with me, and he had hid a phone in the bedroom on record wile she was in the bath, i kicked him out but he said he was depressed and wasnt himself, i let him come home, he starts work in a super market, and going out with lasses from work and he would never invite me along, one day he had arranged to go out with a lass he said fancied him and i kicked off, i went through a major operation and had just got out of hospital i asked him if he wouldnt mind not going out the night after i got home, so we went to work, called me allsorts to the "lasses" he goes out with, (he went out once a month n it never bothered me ) so this lass says somet i find cheeky on his fb, so i say as much the next thing she saying i am abusive to my partner im a green eyed monster she was looking for a flat for him to leave me, i arnt happy and ask m partner to sort it out, he didnt defend me, then in july this year he comes home from work saying this girl at work fancied him n she was giving him lifts home, tthen he said her bf kicked off and she finished him for been a psyco, about a month later im walking my dog and i see my partner with this girl, i ask him how he got home from work , he told me a male brought him home, i asked him everyday for a week, was always the same answer the last day i said so she doesnt bring you home anymore , he said if she did he would tell me, we had a massive row early hours around 3am and he left, i started self harming and was dragged to the doctors for help, then the next day he come home, 3 weeks later this girl rings my daughters phone, i kick off im very angry i throw a tv he smashes holees in the doors, then leaves this time im like no more, hee rings a few times i turn off my phone n go to sleep, next day he wanted to talk, i said i would meet him at my mums we have a good chat decide we were both wrong , but i said we should go our seperat ways, i go witth my mum for a meal the next thing he stood on mums door step crying with his bags, so again i let him home by this point i dont trust him he changes the lock on his phone on a daily basis, takes it to the shower with him, i once moved it to make bed n he went mad, i asked him who he was talking to he said its private, he started dissapering hours at a time , telling me he was going into town then been seen going into this lass's house, he starts to look for another place, behind my back, he starts taking this girl out on a night and takes my money to pay for it, my dog died i was heart broken what did he do , he took this lass out n left me sobbing on the sofa, i start to recive messages from fake accounts on my fb, is oviouse its her, i finaly flip tell him to get out i said i couldnt stand the sightt of him and i hated him, he grabbed my arms n screamed im my face your lucky i dont fucking kill you! i sleep in my daughters bed he will not leave, i really hate him at this point, i ended up getting very drunk and taking pills i really couldnt see anyother way out, while im doing this he is on phone to her for 3 hours, in the morning he said he was so sorry and he carnt beleive what he has done to me, we had a holiday pre booked, so i figured after the holiday i was going to move away with my daughter, a couple of days before, my partner calls and asks if i will get him from work, he said the girl tried to kill herself and her family came into work and had a go at him, we went on holiday came home i got a new house and yes i let him move with us, he told me he said i thourght i loved her but she was crazy, she scared me, i didnt know what to do in that situation, and things got better between us , now i have to walk my daughter to the bus stop for school, and everyday i see her on this bus, i always want to get on the bus but i carnt, i want to harm her i told my therapist this ,i am getting the help i need , but im scared he will do it again with another lass and i dont think im strong enough to go through all this again, im extreamly depessed, and im not allowed to talk to my partner about her, he still has feelings for her, he had a full blown affair with her , i just feel i was the safe option for him , and a total mug who will run round after him give him sex and keep a roof over his head,
 
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lovagemuffin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 21, 2014
Messages
640
its difficult isn't it I remember I went through a similar thing unfortunately some men are complete assholes
dump him never look back go to college focus on your own life take it from a woman who has been there.
 
coldwater00

coldwater00

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 19, 2013
Messages
3,372
Location
Yorkshire
He sounds like an arsehole and your relationship will go nowhere. If you don't want to stay as miserable as this you should leave or get him arrested and get an injunction.
 
SomersetScorpio

SomersetScorpio

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 17, 2012
Messages
13,531
Location
The West Country
Hey,
First of all i'm sorry to read about your situation - it sounds like it's been an absolute nightmare.
I wouldn't call you a 'mug', but the fact that you're asking if you are makes me think there is a part of you that knows you gave him too many chances and that this isn't a healthy or fulfilling relationship..

I have to agree with what others have said. You will not be happy if you continue this relationship - this guy sounds like bad news and if he's been unfaithful once, he's more than likely to do it again.

The fact that he was put off of this other woman because she was 'crazy', makes me wonder what exactly he did to make her crazy?
Sometimes people will write off someone's behaviour as crazy to avoid taking any responsibility for their own actions and how they made that person feel.

The fact that he was threatening towards you is all the more reason to end this relationship. There are organisations like Women's Aid who can help give you support through that process.

I'm glad that you're in therapy - that's a positive sign. But you must find the strength to leave him and say 'No more' because you don't deserve to be treated so badly.
Otherwise, any progress you might be making in therapy will be totally destroyed by this man.
 
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lisax

New member
Joined
Jan 14, 2015
Messages
3
Thanks for your replays , my heads been all over the place I started self harming again, I use to cope with stress by binge eating , then I had a gastric bypass , I understand now he was mentally abusing me, when my doctor first suggested it i said no it's my fault I get angry . We are still together , things have changed I think I've become stronger as a person and started sticking up for myself , he has finally took some responsibility instead of blaming me for everything , he is getting help with his issues now I hope we can be happy together again one day
 
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