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Am I a bad dad?!

B

Bravo_echo

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Mar 12, 2020
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Kings lynn
About 11 years ago I was wrongly accused of something and I have always said and pleaded it was a high mistake and since then even though I have tried as much as I can do be there for my 6 year old son they seem to not trust me to be there and have any dad and son contact I used to see my son every month for 2 hours on his mums side not alone, back then I was drinking a lot and wasn’t working and since then I have changed a lot of things like stoped drinking and I actually work now and enjoy it too, I now have a 1 year old daughter with my ex and because of my past ( 11 years ago ) she didn’t put me on her birth certificate and I haven’t seen her in so long I have seen her once via video link thru this lockdown when ever I try sort to see her I get no as lockdown and your not having her by yourself because of my past, and I only get 1 email a week from her and it’s always short and will message next week not even answering questions makes me feel so low and that maybe I’m not that great of a dad? At times I get so down because I just wish I was there for my kids so what is the best way to actually be able to cope with the sadness?

I really hope I can have some help.

thank you
 
E

Echo6666

New member
Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Messages
3
Location
UK
Legally you should have more rights than your currently getting. Have you thought of looking for legal advice?
To your question, I don't think you are a bad father from what you've explained. You are't the same person as you were anyways.
 
B

Bravo_echo

Member
Joined
Mar 12, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Kings lynn
Legally you should have more rights than your currently getting. Have you thought of looking for legal advice?
To your question, I don't think you are a bad father from what you've explained. You are't the same person as you were anyways.
I have tried but social services seems to say I’m a risk as unfortunately they managed to get me charged for child neglect but as I had lack of experience with looking after children unfortunately he fell of my lap :-( and sustained bruising to me and because they seen finger marks as where I picked him up they say I’m a risk when I have always said I never intentionally done anything and since then I have tried on many occasions to end my life because of social services got me charged for this and even though I have said it was a mistake etc I can’t even be the dad I want to me! And thought it would just be easier to end my life tbh...
 
E

Echo6666

New member
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Feb 13, 2021
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UK
Even though you have this on your record, it was a long time ago and you have reformed in many ways. Even if time with your child isn't on the table, maybe more information on how the child is doing might be. I don't know much about this, but having such little contact with your child cannot be legally okay. Especially in the times of zoom video calls
 
B

Bravo_echo

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Joined
Mar 12, 2020
Messages
5
Location
Kings lynn
Yea I agree with u, it just upsets me so much when I genuinely want to be there for my children and although my daughters mum hasn’t put me on birth certificate apparently for our daughters safty that’s what she said it’s so wrong and upsetting! I ask to buy things I see and she just says no thanks and that she wants to get with someone else now as in a partner as she don’t want to bring up our daughter by herself that makes me sick even though I say I’ll do what I can she just comes out with that. How can I not get upset about this?
 
A

Alexander Ypsilantis

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Mar 3, 2020
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1,669
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USA
Yea I agree with u, it just upsets me so much when I genuinely want to be there for my children and although my daughters mum hasn’t put me on birth certificate apparently for our daughters safty that’s what she said it’s so wrong and upsetting! I ask to buy things I see and she just says no thanks and that she wants to get with someone else now as in a partner as she don’t want to bring up our daughter by herself that makes me sick even though I say I’ll do what I can she just comes out with that. How can I not get upset about this?
You can't, it would upset anyone. But, give it time and perhaps things will improve? Time heals all wounds and you're due a do-over opportunity. Keep doing the right things like you are and it'll sort out in time. Don't get discouraged and lose hope, we need hope.
 
NWiddi

NWiddi

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And thought it would just be easier to end my life tbh...
I'm sorry you're feeling so low, I hope things improve for you soon. It may help to have a look at these two pages on the forum: Suicidal Crisis and Mental Health Forum - Getting Help about what to do if you're feeling suicidal, or if you need emergency help. I hope you can use the forum for support during this difficult time.

If you’re thinking about suicide and are in immediate danger, please call your local emergency number (i.e. in the UK call 999, in the USA or Canada call 911, in Australia call 000 and in New Zealand call 111) or call the international emergency number of 112.

If you have been affected by the contents of this thread and would like to speak to someone about your feelings you can call one of the following helplines:

In the UK and Ireland, the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255.
In Canada, the Suicide Prevention Service on 1.833.456.4566.
In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is on 13 11 14.
In New Zealand, the Need to Talk service is on 1737 or 080017371737.
Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.
 
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