• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

Always anxious that I offended someone

Jam1990

Jam1990

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2020
Messages
72
Location
earth
When I get home from being in public or from work I often feel scared that I could have said the wrong thing to someone or came off as rude. There’s never any indication that this happened, but it’s something I’m frequently anxious about and it’s very annoying. I can’t appreciate a good day because I’ll always have to reflect on situations and assume that I was accidentally rude to someone or that someone took something I said the wrong way. I’m trying to figure out how to move past that or if it’s just something I’m always going to deal with.
 
L

Lauralie

Member
Joined
Aug 24, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Calif
Just realize if you did say anything most people are so worried about their own lives they are not concentrating on what you said or did during the day ...they go home and they have their own problems ...they’re not really thinking about anything you did so if you think of it that way and quit thinking that they are dwelling on everything you said or did I think you would feel a lot better.
 
Jam1990

Jam1990

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2020
Messages
72
Location
earth
Just realize if you did say anything most people are so worried about their own lives they are not concentrating on what you said or did during the day ...they go home and they have their own problems ...they’re not really thinking about anything you did so if you think of it that way and quit thinking that they are dwelling on everything you said or did I think you would feel a lot better.
That’s really solid advice and a great way to look at it. Thanks very much for that.
 
AlwaysinCrown

AlwaysinCrown

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 14, 2020
Messages
622
Location
Poland
I've the same problem. I'm always afraid I can do or write sth harmful.
 
L

Luali

Member
Joined
Aug 25, 2020
Messages
7
Location
Zürich
Hey Jam

I understand well! Often stupid small incidents re-echo in my mind, rising questions if I just hurt this persons feelings with a statement or action.

Then again I found many worries dissolve as soon as I step out of my inner perception, maybe stepping into this persons shoes even. Like if it really would've been a problem, I hope this person would tell me honestly. Otherwise another life occasion will reinitiate a meeting where maybe things can be cleared. (Depending on what person, it might be even best to just directly ask them...things tend to clear sooo quickly then. It might not be the most comfortable to address but from my own experience I know how much I appreciate people communicating openly) Just know for yourself that you meant well, like you had good intentions therefore trust into that. It happens that people misinterpret things to the bad and get hurt, that's often a sign of their insecurity, and in the best case one avoids to cause such situations. But no one's perfect (thanks god^^)! Like I guess one has to accept that it is a possibility that one can be misinterpretet, that's just human. But don't convict yourself for it, we all deal with a wide range of such situations^^ As long as you try to cause well, having good intentions, being honest to yourself about it, you can trust in having tried the best:) For sure one has the responsability for oneself as well for what we cause but we can't carry the whole world on our shoulders. Already that you're worrying about it now shows how well you mean! Not everyone is that considered

Also personally it dawns on me when I try to recall situations where someone might've hurt my feelings unintentionally. Like I might've gotten angry that moment but mostly I would still be open for this person to show another side of them, one doesn't condemn that easily! Further, surely there must've also been situations I don't even recall but someone might still worry they said something wrong...Like I've got more important things than to bear a grudge, especially when I don't even know about what :p

Long text short sense: Often people don't even notice nor worry too much about it, we're all mostly too busy dealing with our own stuff. And I think even if they would, we're flexible beings. Just keep on going, life has a way to sort things out over time. You mean well, I can read that so clearly from your message and I give you all the credits for it, so flow with that<3 You can't control how people interpret what you're saying, we're all having our unique perception through our personal life lense lol. As long as you can back-up what your doing and saying with your heart, trying to be as clear and honest as possible, believe me you already did well!

Well this thoughts help me when in doubt. Maybe you can relate!:)
 
Jam1990

Jam1990

Well-known member
Joined
May 22, 2020
Messages
72
Location
earth
Hey Jam

I understand well! Often stupid small incidents re-echo in my mind, rising questions if I just hurt this persons feelings with a statement or action.

Then again I found many worries dissolve as soon as I step out of my inner perception, maybe stepping into this persons shoes even. Like if it really would've been a problem, I hope this person would tell me honestly. Otherwise another life occasion will reinitiate a meeting where maybe things can be cleared. (Depending on what person, it might be even best to just directly ask them...things tend to clear sooo quickly then. It might not be the most comfortable to address but from my own experience I know how much I appreciate people communicating openly) Just know for yourself that you meant well, like you had good intentions therefore trust into that. It happens that people misinterpret things to the bad and get hurt, that's often a sign of their insecurity, and in the best case one avoids to cause such situations. But no one's perfect (thanks god^^)! Like I guess one has to accept that it is a possibility that one can be misinterpretet, that's just human. But don't convict yourself for it, we all deal with a wide range of such situations^^ As long as you try to cause well, having good intentions, being honest to yourself about it, you can trust in having tried the best:) For sure one has the responsability for oneself as well for what we cause but we can't carry the whole world on our shoulders. Already that you're worrying about it now shows how well you mean! Not everyone is that considered

Also personally it dawns on me when I try to recall situations where someone might've hurt my feelings unintentionally. Like I might've gotten angry that moment but mostly I would still be open for this person to show another side of them, one doesn't condemn that easily! Further, surely there must've also been situations I don't even recall but someone might still worry they said something wrong...Like I've got more important things than to bear a grudge, especially when I don't even know about what :p

Long text short sense: Often people don't even notice nor worry too much about it, we're all mostly too busy dealing with our own stuff. And I think even if they would, we're flexible beings. Just keep on going, life has a way to sort things out over time. You mean well, I can read that so clearly from your message and I give you all the credits for it, so flow with that<3 You can't control how people interpret what you're saying, we're all having our unique perception through our personal life lense lol. As long as you can back-up what your doing and saying with your heart, trying to be as clear and honest as possible, believe me you already did well!

Well this thoughts help me when in doubt. Maybe you can relate!:)
Thank you! Your post really helped me feel better. You have great advice on dealing with this and I’m realizing that the world doesn’t revolve around me or what I say like I sometimes feel it does. I have to remember that everyone has their own lives to worry about and that they aren’t spending time thinking of everything I say to them. Thanks for your reply again.
 
Bizzarebitrary

Bizzarebitrary

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
516
Location
California, US
“Please don't talk to me. Not because I don't want to talk to you, but because I can't lose the rest of the day to replaying the conversation, looking for the places I said something stupid and caused you not to like me.”
- The Mental Illness Happy Hour podcast
Anxiety is always trying to protect me from the worst harms...and then prepare me for the next invented crisis.

Absurdly, it's a bit flattering knowing that anything cares so much about me. But I wouldn't mind if anxiety took a bit of holiday time, it has accrued so many weeks working without respite. 😜
 
Top