R
riverofdragons
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2008
- Messages
- 274
I'm feeling very alone at the moment. My housemate/ex has gone away for a week and I'm home alone to deal with everything.
To be honest it scares me. I dont worry about people breaking in or anything - not much at least, I'm scared of myself.
I'm scared of hurting myself, of the emptyness, of the phone ringing. I'm scared I wont remember my tablets, wont remember to eat and that no-one is there to check I get out of bed. Being alone makes we want to die.
I promised myself I wouldn't self harm - my new year resolution...so far I have kept to it. I need to be stronger.
My latest tablets make the death voice go away most of the time, but what if it comes back when I've been alone a little while?
What have I done to deserve this... What evil things I must have done to have these feelings and thought-voices in my mind.
People think I'm geting better but i'm not. Im just learning to hide it so i dont hurt them.
im scared and alone
To be honest it scares me. I dont worry about people breaking in or anything - not much at least, I'm scared of myself.
I'm scared of hurting myself, of the emptyness, of the phone ringing. I'm scared I wont remember my tablets, wont remember to eat and that no-one is there to check I get out of bed. Being alone makes we want to die.
I promised myself I wouldn't self harm - my new year resolution...so far I have kept to it. I need to be stronger.
My latest tablets make the death voice go away most of the time, but what if it comes back when I've been alone a little while?
What have I done to deserve this... What evil things I must have done to have these feelings and thought-voices in my mind.
People think I'm geting better but i'm not. Im just learning to hide it so i dont hurt them.
im scared and alone
