Alone

D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
403
#24
I'm actually not being paranoid at this point, I know that I am terrible at relating to others and don't know how to behave around them. I can't even look people in the eye or feel relaxed around them. I give private one to one lessons and literally all of my students cancelled on me last week, just found out one of them wants to stop completely. Coincidence, I think not. People just hate to be in my company probably because I make them feel so uncomfortable.
Hell, why can't I just like myself for a minute? How can I get over this and learn to be okay on my own? Learn to like myself and not care if others like me or not?
Going to therapy once a week feels pointless rn because I'd need fulltime therapy to address all the issues I have. Literally cannot be left alone with myself.
 
megirl

megirl

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#25
Dewey you really sound in a bad place at the moment,and I am sorry things have got this rough for you.
Your mood sounds really low, have you thought it may be a good time to get yr meds (if you're on any) reviewed. Or you may need something for your mental health at this time.
 
D

dewey

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Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
403
#26
Dewey you really sound in a bad place at the moment,and I am sorry things have got this rough for you.
Your mood sounds really low, have you thought it may be a good time to get yr meds (if you're on any) reviewed. Or you may need something for your mental health at this time.
Yes I feel extremely low. I can't motivate myself to do anything. I have been in bed all day, trying to sleep, to avoid the extreme agony. I feel like after making months of progress, I am now regressing.
And don't feel I have anyone to really reach out to and nobody who understands.
So thanks for being there.
 
megirl

megirl

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#28
I'm here for you as we all are xx
At times I felt the only place I belonged was on the forum, it does help.
Have you had your health or meds reviewed lately?
How about yr self-care, are you eating well? Are you managing to actually get some proper sleep.
Can you do something nice for yourself, a nice warm bath? A massage or something to pamper you.
I think going to see a health professional would be a good idea x
Big hugs too you :grouphug:
 
megirl

megirl

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#29
Mental illness can be a bitch, I'm thinking of you x
 
D

dewey

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 16, 2019
Messages
403
#30
I'm here for you as we all are xx
At times I felt the only place I belonged was on the forum, it does help.
Have you had your health or meds reviewed lately?
How about yr self-care, are you eating well? Are you managing to actually get some proper sleep.
Can you do something nice for yourself, a nice warm bath? A massage or something to pamper you.
I think going to see a health professional would be a good idea x
Big hugs too you :grouphug:
Thank you for that.

Yeah I usually see the psychiatrist once a month, last time I saw her things were going well.
We agreed to keep me on the same meds as they had been working.

I thought I was finally in control and things were on an up. But then shit happened (wouldn't feel comfortable to post here about) and I got triggered again. So I've gone back to a really low point for more than a week now.
I won't see the psychiatrist again for another ten days.
As for my weekly therapist, well that's just not something that necessarily makes me feel better as we are talking about all the shit that is happening for me and the difficult situations. So it's not necessarily like going makes me feel better, maybe just more aware of what's really going on.
I'm not eating well really, I have a lot of problems with my eating as I want to lose weight but also I tend to comfort eat. Sleep is difficult like for example I generally just sleep to escape, sometimes during the day. I don't have really a regular sleep pattern at the moment, even though things were improving, suddenly they've just got really bad again.
All I feel is emotional pain