i feel as if im alone. im starting to go back into depression again. i just feel like theres nothing really out there or no one really out there for me. im afraid if i keep going down this path ill start self harming again. i already started to have suicidal thoughts and frequent thoughts of always living a life in isolation. as of now this is the only thing i can use to talk to about how feel rather than talking to myself. i gave up hope on a number of different goals in my life that ive wanted to achieve since i was kid. i pretty much threw away any goal or dream involving relationships(kids, marriage). i honestly think i dont belong here anymore and i should just end it all. these thoughts only worsen with each passing day.
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