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alone

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davong255

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
13
i feel as if im alone. im starting to go back into depression again. i just feel like theres nothing really out there or no one really out there for me. im afraid if i keep going down this path ill start self harming again. i already started to have suicidal thoughts and frequent thoughts of always living a life in isolation. as of now this is the only thing i can use to talk to about how feel rather than talking to myself. i gave up hope on a number of different goals in my life that ive wanted to achieve since i was kid. i pretty much threw away any goal or dream involving relationships(kids, marriage). i honestly think i dont belong here anymore and i should just end it all. these thoughts only worsen with each passing day.
 
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Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
112
Location
Hereford
I feel very similar only i know i have to keep going. I may need to stop my medication soon though and that will knock me back down to where you are, where thoughts are twisted by the black mood, and the reality of life's pleasures despite what many depressives cannot reach much of the time.

Life is extremely hard when you suffer with depression but there are better times. Ending your life, stopping your heart beating, is not something you should be considering. It is better to think - what can i do to make myself feel less bad? What will make me feel a little bit more comfortable as i try to deal with my depression? Is there any treatment i can get to make me feel a bit better?
 
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davong255

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
13
i do that but its becoming increasingly difficult to constantly distract myself from my own thoughts. especially towards the end of day when im trying to sleep. but i might need to start taking medication again....
 
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MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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Jan 15, 2013
Messages
25,096
i feel as if im alone. im starting to go back into depression again. i just feel like theres nothing really out there or no one really out there for me. im afraid if i keep going down this path ill start self harming again. i already started to have suicidal thoughts and frequent thoughts of always living a life in isolation. as of now this is the only thing i can use to talk to about how feel rather than talking to myself. i gave up hope on a number of different goals in my life that ive wanted to achieve since i was kid. i pretty much threw away any goal or dream involving relationships(kids, marriage). i honestly think i dont belong here anymore and i should just end it all. these thoughts only worsen with each passing day.
Hi. I'm sorry tjhat you are sinking back into your depression but it's good that you can see it so. Have you ever learnt any skills that might help and stop you from harming yourself if it gets that bad?

I see from your post above that you feel you might have to start medication again, did it work last time?

Have you got any close friends or family you could talk to about how you feeling?

I think you should try and see a doctor just so you can maybe talk through some options.

Take care

Marliee x
 
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davong255

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
13
no medication hasnt worked before. and i have no one to talk to when im feeling down. and the only thing i do to stop myself from harming is using my [removed]which only makes me ashy. but i sometimes if not most of the time think about just hurting myself...
 
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Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
112
Location
Hereford
I sometimes think like that. It's anger at myself and others. That is where reflection privately or with a professional helps. Are you uk based? Samaritans are good for that.

There are many different meds to try.
 
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davong255

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
13
no in us. i dont trust professional help they only money from you. what kinds of meds are there?
 
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MarlieeB

ACCOUNT CLOSED
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25,096
I'm sorry you feel you can't trust professional help xxx
 
Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
112
Location
Hereford
There are many different medications and many other treatments but you need to see a doctor to access many of them unless you look around for Mind and other charities in your area.

Why can you not trust them?

I gave up everything too. I am living day to day as that is all i can do. Life is much easier for me living in this way. I have a nice home and a couple of nice people around me but even if they weren't there, i would be okay as i have made a life for myself that is reasonable. You aren't the only one who feels this way by any means.
 
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Charlii93

Active member
Joined
Jul 21, 2015
Messages
38
Location
Southampton, England
i feel as if im alone. im starting to go back into depression again. i just feel like theres nothing really out there or no one really out there for me. im afraid if i keep going down this path ill start self harming again. i already started to have suicidal thoughts and frequent thoughts of always living a life in isolation. as of now this is the only thing i can use to talk to about how feel rather than talking to myself. i gave up hope on a number of different goals in my life that ive wanted to achieve since i was kid. i pretty much threw away any goal or dream involving relationships(kids, marriage). i honestly think i dont belong here anymore and i should just end it all. these thoughts only worsen with each passing day.
Hi,

I have only just come across your post and wanted to see how you are doing.

I know things get really tough when that black cloud comes over and isolates us. But know there is an escape, you haven't found the thing that works best for you yet, but go see your Dr hopefully they might be able to shed some light for you.

Charlii
 
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TheBalancingAct

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 25, 2015
Messages
184
Location
UK
Hey Davong255!

Im sorry to hear your struggling and finding it hard to pull through!
I hate reading peoples post and relating to them, because i know how awful it is to live with those feelings!
I understand how towards the end of the day things get bleaker as you sit alone, i do! thats when i find myself on here!

But believe me, the people on here are great and are always here for one another!
when I'm sat alone i will post on here, and at first it didn't make much difference, but the more i did it, the more i spoke out, and really got what was crushing me inside, the better i felt!
so stick with it and be patient, you'll see :)

As for those dark thoughts, i can only talk from experience, for me those thoughts at the time felt like the only option, but i kept telling myself wait just one more day, and when tomorrow came, i would tell myself the same thing.

Death isn't going anywhere, it will be there for me if i choose to go today or if i wait until tomorrow, so i kept waiting until tomorrow. I would try to distract myself with things on YouTube or xbox, just anything that i could do to pass the time.

So please just try to find something, and i know its easier said then done! But we got to try.

Depression is a fucking horrible illness and can snatch away our hope and dreams, but we ARE able to claw them back! its never an easy ride for anyone, and each of our own journeys are different and we all have different solutions that works, you just haven't found yours yet!

I know this post probably hasn't been the best of help, I just wanted to share my experiences with you, because when people shared with me, i felt connected in a strange sort of way, and made me feel less alone in all of this!

I hope your having a good day today, and just remember we are always here!

Much Love!

Alex
 
BorderlineDownunder

BorderlineDownunder

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
17,161
FWIW I was really low in Vitamin D

They call it Vitamin Depression

A lot of folks in UK will suffer too

I live in Australia, get outside, have fair skin, I should not have been low

but I was lower than an old person in a rest home

Also ive just started mega doses of Omega 3 and I swear they are helping

Also on 75mg Zoloft for the worst of the depression and PMS.

Walk every day.

This is what I've committed to.

Its not exactly fixing me

But I do believe its helping to halt my backward slide

into something that I was not going to get out of.
 
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davong255

Member
Joined
Jul 28, 2015
Messages
13
i appreciate all the support. its just life just eating away at me. im just growing tired and see no purpose to continue living. im trying hard to find something everyday to make me happy but if its not one thing its another
 
Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 23, 2015
Messages
112
Location
Hereford
You may need to try medication if you are not able to ease your depression naturally. Exercise does help with depression, it is what doctors advise. I have bipolar disorder and a brisk walk in the evening when i feel better from my depression does help me. Are you better in the evenings?
 
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