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Alone again for the holidays

G

Glassy Lip

Active member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
39
Location
Florida
I'm sick of it. Today is a major holiday for us in the US. All about family, food and football. It used to be my favorite holiday. Now I dread it. Alone for the 8th year in a row, was never alone before 2011. I don't know what else to say besides I'm miserable, angry, sad and feel as though I have been abandoned by my family and friends.
 
wollie

wollie

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
1,155
Location
warwick
Hi Glassy.
I wont be celebrating much, so why dont you join us on MHFs for xmas, we can have our own little party:D
All the best woolie.
 
G

Glassy Lip

Active member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
39
Location
Florida
My mother died in June 2009. Her side of the family is close but have ignored me since she passed away. Other family is too far to visit for a day or even two. If I had the money I would fly across the country for a dinner but I don't at the moment. My gf and I broke up last May after almost 5 years together. It's a mess. I used to have money also but it's been so long since I've worked, all my savings are gone now.

Being fairly new to being broke and alone, life is just hard to wake up to everyday. I have had dogs my entire life and both my dogs died of cancer within a day of each other a few months ago. When I say I have nothing, I really have nothing. I own my house and my truck but there is really no pride or joy left in my life. I don't do anything I used to like to do. I just try to scrounge money to pay for Dr., meds, bills and food.

I signed up for a depression med trial today. Anyone have any experience with such things? I'm so desperate to get my life back.

I have been in the hospital and jail in the last week. Seems things just keep getting worse when I thought it couldn't get any worse two weeks ago. I know it can get worse though and I hope and pray it does not. I don't need it to be worse to convince myself I have to make changes if I want to live. I'm 38 now and I can see people are less willing to help me than when I was in my 20's. These are professionals who are in the MH field, not friends and family. It's not one or two things I'm struggling with, it's literally everything. Being depressed was MUCH easier and less stressful when I could pay my bills.

Thank you for reading my long-winded post and I appreciate the reply's. Feel free to message me also if you prefer and if that is an option. I understand because I just spelled out every way I feel so useless and don't feel like adding too many more details. They give me something to look forward to and read.
 
G

Glassy Lip

Active member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
39
Location
Florida
Hi Glassy.
I wont be celebrating much, so why dont you join us on MHFs for xmas, we can have our own little party:D
All the best woolie.
Appreciate the invite!
 
wollie

wollie

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
1,155
Location
warwick
Hi Glassy.

I'm sorry things are so tougth for you but you need to get your MH sorted before you can work.
I had to give up work in 2008 because of mental health problems and know how hard it is when you can't work.
Can you shop around for a phyc can you get them for free? sorry I'm not much help but I don't know how things work in the USA.
Any way will be glad to talk any time.
all the best woolie.
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
627
It is really a difficult situation for Glassy, to say the least. It is so hard to be alone with no one to go to or rely on. I really feel bad for Glassy. However, I am not in so much of a better situation myself. I really don't know what the answer is, or if Glassy is also battling additional mental health issues, but the situation is enough to make anyone depressed. Life in the U.S. particularly can be very hard and isolating, from my own experience.

However, if you are only 38 years old, that is not so old. There is some time to turn things around, particularly if you are still strong and healthy. But it is really not a lot of fun to be alone for the holidays. It is quite depressing. I often feel quite sad during this time of year myself.

You can message me Glassy, I would be happy to chat with you and offer some advice if I may. I can probably use your advice as well.
 
G

Glassy Lip

Active member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
39
Location
Florida
I understand most members here are not from US but I appreciate the encouragement just the same. I'm sure the major difference is how a person who is not wealthy and has no insurance can get help. Here, options are very limited. I have been turned away from the hospital twice in two days this week. They transported me from hospital to jail and back to the hospital in less than 24 hours. Otherwise, I can't see how what we're going through is very different.

And you are correct, it is very easy to be isolated in the US. Unless you live in a tiny town or a major city center, transportation can be an issue. I drive but don't want to most of the time. Thanks again
 
M

Marianda

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
279
Location
South America
@Glassy Lip , I lived 20 years in the United States and never had anyone to celebrate thanksgiving or christmas. It's just a day more in the calendar, dont feel so bad. You should focus on recovering your life. Sending you positive vibes.
 
G

Glassy Lip

Active member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
39
Location
Florida
Only 1.5 hours left and it will be another day in history. I made it, thanks.
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
627
I lived in Florida for two years. I know how it is and how health care is a big problem there. I understand it. You cannot expect much help from the government there, particularly in Florida. Florida is really the worst. No income tax, but no social safety net at all. You are on your own.
 
M

Mimi12345

New member
Joined
Dec 11, 2019
Messages
3
Location
London
I find volunteering on Xmas helps to distract you, meet new people and can help you feel a bit better about yourself. Hope this helps.
 
L

Livebythesea

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 29, 2019
Messages
132
Location
East Coast
I am in the US and think you are so very lucky to have your home and truck paid for. Wish I could say the same. If you do not have work is it possible to rent out a room in your home for some income? Is it possible to volunteer at your local shelter walking dogs? I love dogs and lost mine to cancer three years ago..and also lost my beloved mom in 2009. Sending many hugs.
 
J

JCPraha

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
627
Renting out a room could help. That's a good idea. Being alone on the holidays is very difficult, to say the least. I am about to experience it myself.
 
G

Glassy Lip

Active member
Joined
Nov 27, 2019
Messages
39
Location
Florida
I have a 4 bedroom, 3 bath house. I should but living with another person gives me anxiety. I am planning on rescuing another dog soon and having a roommate and a dog will make me worry about doors not being closed and my dog not being treated well when I'm not around.

I had an opportunity to have a friend of mine move in and I would have got $600/month which would really help me but I just could not do it. I actually went way out of my way and found her a nice, safe place to stay just a few blocks from my house. I hope to see more of her when she moves in Jan 1 but I can't live with someone at this time. It truly is me and not her.

Thanks for the idea though, it got me thinking and I appreciate it.
 
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