Almost 100% sure I have a Personality Disorder. Need help identifying a possibility before I go to a doctor.

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Nikkishaw

New member
Joined
Mar 4, 2018
Messages
1
#1
Almost 100% sure I have a Personality Disorder. Need help identifying a possibility before I go to a doctor.

Hello, everyone. I'm new here so I'm not sure if threads like these are allowed.

I know that none of you can diagnose me and I do plan on going to a doctor for this. However, I would really appreciate it if you could help me identify possibilities beforehand.

  • Always felt an innate disconnect with the rest of the world. Like I’m not apart of it.
  • Very difficult time connecting and getting close with others.
  • Deep-rooted feeling of inferiority: “I don’t belong here because I’m a lower form of human.”
  • But at the same time, a deep-rooted sense of entitlement: “I can do whatever I want without consequences because I’m me.” (I’ve thought this multiple times)
  • I also tend to feel entitled to “special” treatment from others. Good or bad. I just don’t expect to be treated like everyone else.
  • No energy or willpower.
  • Intense boredom but NO desire to do anything about it.
  • Switch between EXTREMELY high self esteem and EXTREMELY low self esteem. Never an in-between.
  • I’m the same with other people: I either see them as AMAZING ANGELS or HORRIBLE SCUM.
  • I’m also the same with food/things. I never see anything as “average” or “okay”.
  • I was kind of delayed maturity-wise. I believed in magical beings/supernatural phenomena up to 17 (22 now).
  • I have childish “reversion” tendencies like buying baby bottles to drink from and pacifiers to use in private.
  • I feel like I can’t relate to the “normal” person, at least not deeper than a superficial level.
  • I feel like there’s something missing in me.
  • Sometimes, I kind of “blackout” and roam/jump around, talking gibberish to myself, completely unaware of my surroundings or what I’m doing. It happens in private (thank God) and when music is playing. I have no control over it.

Are there any possibilities that you can take away from this list?
 
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exyz

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
2,757
#2
Hi NikkiShaw:welcome:

I hope that writing it down has helped you and welcome here.
We are a support forum and one of the things about being here is that we are not qualified to diagnose anyone over the internet. It is a dangerous and irresponsible thing to do.
However, clearly you have things which are worrying you enough to put your concerns down. It is ok to worry what is " wrong".

Everyone gets some or all of these feelings at some point in the lives. If you are feeling like this most or all of the time then you need some support. Good idea to see your doc as a starter and see what they say. if you are not happy then see another until you get support you feel comfortable with.

Sorry this is probably not the reply you wanted, and you are very welcome here to join in ...it is a great support...but we are not medical professionals just a real mixed group of experiences around the MH umbrella and we try our best to look out for one another.
All good wishes
 
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BrokenToy

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 2, 2018
Messages
1,312
Location
Antrim Coast, Ireland
#3
Don't delay going to see your doctor. I put it off for years and regret it so much now - in this life you rarely get help unless you ask for it!
Don't be shy or embarrassed, your doctor will have seen this all a thousand times before. Self-diagnosis is not ideal either as it's human nature to always assume the worst when we really don't know all the facts! Good luck and remember, there is help out there.