
debbyftm
Member
I am 42 married with 3 children 18, 15 and 6.
My eldest has just moved out and gone off to Uni, my 15 yr old son lives with his dad, and i see him once a week if i am lucky enough for him to grace me with his presence.
I dont work at the moment as i have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 3 years ago, and the meds i take me me feel yuk.
I think my lovely daughter moving out is what finally sent me further down.
My best friend and neighbour moved away in the spring, and the new neighbours who moved into her house dont speak to me, since i asked their son to stop being nasty with my little boy. My bro and his family lived opposite,and they have now also moved away.
I am also a full time carer for my parents. This in itself is a really drain on my energy levels, as having the arthritis, already makes me suffer from fatigue. My mother can be quite demanding, and she lets me know about it if i am not available when she requests me for something.
My mother in law, is very demanding of our time, and can be very nasty if we dont do things for her either.
My husband was unemployed for 3 years and is now working 12 hour shifts so i am alone a lot of the time, apart from when 6 yr old son is in from school or weekends, and its just me and him.
I live in a small village, with nothing much here to do. I have to rely on a really bad bus service to get about or wait until hubby is off and use the car.
So basically i feel stuck here, with life passing me by. I feel like i have run around after everyone all my life and i am still doing it. Ive brought up my kids, and now i have to care for elderly parents. I know its down to me to get off my arse and do something, but i keep finding barriers.
Transport!
My parents, if i stopped looking after them and something happened!
Who is going to look after my youngest if i get a job with hours out of school.
Finding a job local is hard as i have no good transport to get to nearest town 10 miles away.
I have no friends, i do have other mothers that i talk to at school, but thats as far as it goes.
I just feel so alone, i find myself crying most of the day and about nothing really, the tears just start flowing.
It took me years to find a real good friend, and i only had her for 4 years...and i now cant find anyone that will give me the same kind of friendship i had with my friend that moved.
summed up in one word....LONELY
I feel like maybe doing an Open University course, but if i have read through their list of subjects ive read it a thousand times, I cannot decide what to do.
From leaving school up until 2002 i have worked in care work, ive looked after elderly, mentally ill, on various hospital wards, autistic kids, physio dept, pharmacy assitant.
I know i cannot go back into care work due to arthritis, as i am limited to moving and handling of patient situations.
I feel like the longer i leave things and dont do anything, i am going to be looked upon as too old, and not worked for years, also my arthritis is only going to get worse with the years to come.
I just dont know what to do to get myself off the bottom. I have no one to talk to about how i feel. My husband is nt a big talker, and he just goes to work and worries about me he says.
I dont know how long i can keep doing this mundane life for before i finally flip.
I feel like everyone thinks i am this thing with no feelings, no emotions...i never get tired...i am always there at their beck and call.
I just cannot do it anymore..i cant. I want to be selfish and do something for me!!!
Time is ticking away for me and i dont know what to do or who to turn to. I just want a life back, so i can have some fun, and have a social life and some friends, and some self worth and self esteem.
My head is going to explode soon if i dont do something with my life.
Thanks for listening. Got a headache now and crying again.


My eldest has just moved out and gone off to Uni, my 15 yr old son lives with his dad, and i see him once a week if i am lucky enough for him to grace me with his presence.
I dont work at the moment as i have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 3 years ago, and the meds i take me me feel yuk.
I think my lovely daughter moving out is what finally sent me further down.
My best friend and neighbour moved away in the spring, and the new neighbours who moved into her house dont speak to me, since i asked their son to stop being nasty with my little boy. My bro and his family lived opposite,and they have now also moved away.
I am also a full time carer for my parents. This in itself is a really drain on my energy levels, as having the arthritis, already makes me suffer from fatigue. My mother can be quite demanding, and she lets me know about it if i am not available when she requests me for something.
My mother in law, is very demanding of our time, and can be very nasty if we dont do things for her either.
My husband was unemployed for 3 years and is now working 12 hour shifts so i am alone a lot of the time, apart from when 6 yr old son is in from school or weekends, and its just me and him.
I live in a small village, with nothing much here to do. I have to rely on a really bad bus service to get about or wait until hubby is off and use the car.
So basically i feel stuck here, with life passing me by. I feel like i have run around after everyone all my life and i am still doing it. Ive brought up my kids, and now i have to care for elderly parents. I know its down to me to get off my arse and do something, but i keep finding barriers.
Transport!
My parents, if i stopped looking after them and something happened!
Who is going to look after my youngest if i get a job with hours out of school.
Finding a job local is hard as i have no good transport to get to nearest town 10 miles away.
I have no friends, i do have other mothers that i talk to at school, but thats as far as it goes.
I just feel so alone, i find myself crying most of the day and about nothing really, the tears just start flowing.
It took me years to find a real good friend, and i only had her for 4 years...and i now cant find anyone that will give me the same kind of friendship i had with my friend that moved.
summed up in one word....LONELY

I feel like maybe doing an Open University course, but if i have read through their list of subjects ive read it a thousand times, I cannot decide what to do.
From leaving school up until 2002 i have worked in care work, ive looked after elderly, mentally ill, on various hospital wards, autistic kids, physio dept, pharmacy assitant.
I know i cannot go back into care work due to arthritis, as i am limited to moving and handling of patient situations.
I feel like the longer i leave things and dont do anything, i am going to be looked upon as too old, and not worked for years, also my arthritis is only going to get worse with the years to come.
I just dont know what to do to get myself off the bottom. I have no one to talk to about how i feel. My husband is nt a big talker, and he just goes to work and worries about me he says.
I dont know how long i can keep doing this mundane life for before i finally flip.
I feel like everyone thinks i am this thing with no feelings, no emotions...i never get tired...i am always there at their beck and call.
I just cannot do it anymore..i cant. I want to be selfish and do something for me!!!
Time is ticking away for me and i dont know what to do or who to turn to. I just want a life back, so i can have some fun, and have a social life and some friends, and some self worth and self esteem.
My head is going to explode soon if i dont do something with my life.
Thanks for listening. Got a headache now and crying again.


