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Agreed to meet with someone i had met on-line, nightmare!!

R

RiverWolfe

Active member
Joined
Sep 28, 2009
Messages
26
Location
Devon
We had been chatting everyday on messenger and were getting on really well, she said she was coming to visit and i was caught up in the moment and said great.

What she failed to tell me is she has ADD, that was not really the problem until as soon as my back was turned she climbed out of the window and ran into the forest, this was just as the sun was coming up, then i got a phone call to say she was lost.

I think she should of told me about her condition while we were chatting as i was upfront about having psz and post traumatic stress.

I need to have a calm enviroment and having to entertain someone for nearly 3 days really made my head spin and i started to go into myself as soon as she had gone, it took nearly a week after ending the friendship to get my head straight.

She works as an assistant in a hospital so you would of thought she would have an insight into how important meds are, but she said "dont take your meds while i'm here, you dont need them you have me".

How off the wall is that?? If this comes across as me slagging her off a bit i guess i am but its not until you meet someone face to face you really know them, and i wouldnt of been friends had i known she was firstly going to visit for so long, and secondly was going to say what she did about meds, it made me question her sanity, again bearing in mind she works in a hospital!!

I have cancelled my messenger account and opened a new one, taken her off of facebook and normal service is sort of resuming in my head.

Had i been ill i would of listened to her and not taken my meds, as it was i just didnt listen.

Not only did she not look like the way she described herself, i'm seriously wondering if she should be on meds but refuses.

We stayed friends for a couple of days after she left but all she did was drag me down with her problems, so i had to end the friendship before it all got out of hand.

Are any people on these dating websites honest? One of people i talk to from the same website has been honest from the start and says she has a girlfriend and is just looking for friends, which is fine with me, she has also said she is a self harmer and explained why, why cant people be more honest, it costs nothing.

All i will say is be very careful if you agree to meet people you have met on-line and stay away from those in the medical proffession if they are unbalanced, which is where the problem lays, on-line you can be anyone you want but face to face its a whole different ball game, you cannot hide the fact your unstable if you are.

Sorry just had to get that out of my head, lesson learnt and never again!!

River
 
S

*Sapphire*

Guest
Oh my word, I am sorry to hear about your bad experience.

I have not many people online, but I think your experience is a cautionary tale to everyone.

I guess making sure you speak to them on the phone is a good start.
Then meeting in a public place if you decide to meet with an adequate excuse to leave if you need to, and making sure that your friends/family know where you are and can put in a timely phone call to you.
And of course having a time limit which you both stick to.

I hope you have managed to recover?
Take good care of yourself.
 
C

coraline1664

Guest
-

I have a friend who met up with someone online, and that was a disaster for her as well. They met on a bridge and it was all going great, they both seemed to fall for one another. She'd met his friends and they all loved her but then he suddenly decided that he couldn't start seeing anyone and couldn't deal with the situation. He left her alone in London early. She suffers from mental health issues too and she was unable to leave the house for months afterwards.

I agree with the points Sapphire makes but of course it can still go wrong anyway. It's strange about the girl you met lying to you about how she looked because you're going to know she was lying when you meet!

That was shocking for her to say you shouldn't take your meds as you have her. That's a very short sighted thing for her to say.

I also hope you've managed to recover from it.

Take care,

Liz
 
M

maudikie

Guest
maudikie,

NEVER MEET QNYONE YOU HAVE CHATTED TO ON LINE UNLESS YOU INOW WHO THEY ARE. if you don't then take someone with you. IT CAN BE A DANGEROUS GAME.
 
P

poomah

Member
Joined
May 13, 2010
Messages
11
Location
wales ish
haha

I know it shouldn't have but the story did make me laugh. I do hope you stay clear of her in future, mind you I met my partner on a dating site and we met with one of her friends ect and that's was 2 years ago last week, we live together and I love her more than anything. So although you did meet a crazy I wouldn't let it totaly put you off meeting people
 
T

TherapyTribe

Member
Joined
May 15, 2010
Messages
16
HI


Never meet Anyone you have chatted to on line unless u know him.



thanx
 
C

coraline1664

Guest
I don't think it's anything to worry about too much- just common sense needs to be used before someone meets a person they have been talking to oon the internet, same as with everything else. There are so many scare stories of this nature in the media- but remember they choose what they publish and what they don't! And there are always 'hot topics', then months later when another topic starts to be hyped they'll jump on the bandwagon and drop all the old stories. I think meeting in a public place e.g: a cafe and having a phone with credit to hand are the most important things.
 
Last edited:
dib4uk

dib4uk

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
2,182
Location
south london,england
Sorry to hear about your traumatic experience, meeting someone offlline can be a very trickey situation. I've met a few ppl offline and that was fine, as long as you stick to public places then nothing should happen to you.

Yes i think she shouldve told you Riverwolf that she is suffering from ADD its only fair considering that you told her that you was also suffering from a mental health problem.

Sometimes these things work out, and sometimes they dont.:confused:
 
B

Blondie

Well-known member
Joined
Apr 28, 2010
Messages
396
Location
Lancashire
There have been some horror stories on the news lately with people/kids meeting strangers from the internet.If you MUST meet up take a friend to and meet in a public place.Also tell family/friends where you are going to be.
 
D

Deremna

Guest
There have been some horror stories on the news lately with people/kids meeting strangers from the internet.If you MUST meet up take a friend to and meet in a public place.Also tell family/friends where you are going to be.
Agreed.. I once decided to meet with a guy I had been talking to online. I took my friend Brian along with me to the mall where we were going to meet. The guy never showed up.. I figure a. he was planning on ditching out, b. saw me and decided I wasn't his type, or c. was planning on hurting me in some way but was scared off by the fact that I had a male friend with me.

I agree that people tend to lie, too. I have (stupidly) gone on quite a few dates in my time with guys I met online because I have a social phobia/self esteem problem and it's easier for me to talk to people online. They lie about their appearance, personality, job, if they have kids, ect.. I actually met above friend Brian online. he was the only honest person I have ever talked to. Told me straight out he was schizoaffective bipolar. Sweet guy, too, but we grew apart due to school and what not..

Sorry, went off on a tangent. I'm sorry you had an awful experience. If you're going to continue meeting people on dating sites, really do meet in a public place, talk on the phone a lot, bring a friend with you. Just keep yourself safe!
 
A

Ainsworth

Guest
well ive been lucky, ive met 2 people from this forum in RL and both were fine. (all to do with friendship not anything else) meeting 2 more later in the year (that will be fun!! lol)
 
G

ginger

Active member
Joined
Mar 16, 2010
Messages
27
Location
burrleigh heads gold coast Australia
I think it takes alot of guts to meet someone you have met on line , You hear all sorts of bad stories that happens to people, i think our lives are hard enough at it is ,never mind adding to the stress that people go through,you are lucky ,that you quickly understood the bad vibes this person was sending you ,you certainly learnt something from this ,well done for having the sense to cut all ties , be careful life can be cruel out there all the best Ginger
 

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