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Agoraphobic for years.

R

recluse

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2018
Messages
3
Hi I was wondering if anyone on here has been agoraphobic for years? I've been agoraphobic for 11 years now since I was 18, I'm 29 now and in those 11 years I have only gone out a few times. I just don't know what to do anymore I cant cope with life and do wish my life away, I feel useless and a burden to society. Whenever I read forums with people with agoraphobia they've either had it a few months or had it for a year or two, it makes me feel so useless I have done nothing with my life and I feel such a burden I don't think I'll ever change now but a part of me does want to, I just cant cope with being outside it makes me feel physically sick and I have thrown up a few times. I take antidepressants but other than that I just feel so useless. It'd just be nice to know thats theres someone out there like me, I doubt it though everyone seems to move on I never have.
 
R

recluse

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2018
Messages
3
I'm also autistic btw which makes me think having agoraphobia is harder as I don't like change. I've never had a job, lived on my own ( I live with family), I cant relate to most people I feel like an alien. I honestly feel like I was put on this earth as some kinda sick joke for people to laugh at :low:
 
ShutIn

ShutIn

New member
Joined
Dec 31, 2018
Messages
4
Hi recluse..i just joined here. I've been wanting a place with similar folks that go through what i do..I've had agoraphobia since 2006 when i was 18 too..now I'm 30..most of my 20s were wasted..i got a bit better a few years ago and travelled a bit and got a job but even then i still had trouble with my anxiety...at my last job i was robbed at gunpoint..now I've relapsed and am stuck in the house again..it's so depressing. I've never lived on my own either or learned how to drive..i feel like a burden to my family...I've been to the ER a few times before with bad attacks causing my heart rate to go over 200 bpm...and now i found out i have high blood pressure from using an at home monitor..it's definitely from stress..I've never told doctors about my anxiety..I've never been on meds...i know what you are going through and you can talk to me anytime...

I turned 30 back in june and i couldnt enjoy it because all i can think of is my wasted 20s and what will probably be my wasted 30s...

What i find helps me is to go for a short drive with someone i am comfortable with who is patient with me...(my sister)...we plan on just driving around the block and go back home..it gives me peace of mind to know im in control and will be back home in a couple minutes..not much time for my anxiety to escalate too bad...but when we get going..just knowing i can go home if i want i don't feel so bad..so i decide to drive further...anyway this has helped me before..I'll just keep going for short drives until im comfortable and then maybe my next goal is to go in a small store and buy a pack of gum since its close to the exit and i wont have to wait in line long...

I've been for a couple drives lately but havent worked my way up to a store yet..havent been in one since April..my family arent supportive except for my sister...

But yes i had long term agoraphobia..i didnt get in a car or go anywhere from early 2007 to mid december of 2013..and it's been up and down since then...i think i had a mini stroke at my first job in 2006 and it happened right in front of cudtomers..every since then ive had anxiety and stopped going out...before that i loved getting out and being around people..but i do remember when i was a kid i hated loud noises and crowds...
 
Last edited:
unspoken-words

unspoken-words

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 19, 2018
Messages
197
Location
countryside location England.
Hi recluse..i just joined here. I've been wanting a place with similar folks that go through what i do..I've had agoraphobia since 2006 when i was 18 too..now I'm 30..most of my 20s were wasted..i got a bit better a few years ago and travelled a bit and got a job but even then i still had trouble with my anxiety...at my last job i was robbed at gunpoint..now I've relapsed and am stuck in the house again..it's so depressing. I've never lived on my own either or learned how to drive..i feel like a burden to my family...I've been to the ER a few times before with bad attacks causing my heart rate to go over 200 bpm...and now i found out i have high blood pressure from using an at home monitor..it's definitely from stress..I've never told doctors about my anxiety..I've never been on meds...i know what you are going through and you can talk to me anytime...

I turned 30 back in june and i couldnt enjoy it because all i can think of is my wasted 20s and what will probably be my wasted 30s...

What i find helps me is to go for a short drive with someone i am comfortable with who is patient with me...(my sister)...we plan on just driving around the block and go back home..it gives me peace of mind to know im in control and will be back home in a couple minutes..not much time for my anxiety to escalate too bad...but when we get going..just knowing i can go home if i want i don't feel so bad..so i decide to drive further...anyway this has helped me before..I'll just keep going for short drives until im comfortable and then maybe my next goal is to go in a small store and buy a pack of gum since its close to the exit and i wont have to wait in line long...

I've been for a couple drives lately but havent worked my way up to a store yet..havent been in one since April..my family arent supportive except for my sister...

But yes i had long term agoraphobia..i didnt get in a car or go anywhere from early 2007 to mid december of 2013..and it's been up and down since then...i think i had a mini stroke at my first job in 2006 and it happened right in front of cudtomers..every since then ive had anxiety and stopped going out...before that i loved getting out and being around people..but i do remember when i was a kid i hated loud noises and crowds...
:welcome:
 
R

recluse

New member
Joined
Dec 30, 2018
Messages
3
Hey ShutIn Wow I'm sorry, sounds like you've had it rough. I don't drive either but I do like the idea of going on short drives. I could ask my sisters as they both drive if they could help,I'm not really sure though I mean they have their own lifes one just had a baby and the other is always working, the only person who is helpful is my mum but she doesn't drive unfortunately. I think that's a good goal to have going in the shop to buy gum :) Thank you btw if I need a chat I'll get in touch x
 
omouri

omouri

Member
Joined
Oct 20, 2018
Messages
11
Location
o O o
hey hello i came here cause i saw myself on the same issue but i just quit it like some months ago

i know what being agorephobic means and how it makes you feel but im sure youll be able to change it with the proper mentality, help and better conditions than the ones mantain you in this troubled hell spiral of no change

i was used to drink a lot at my worst periods of this illnes and it helped me a lot, honeslty. also if you start being treated you will always be capable of having medication that will bring you the best choices you have.
i wish you the best xxx
may i ask you if you developed this condition for some concret event in your life ?

hugs
 
K

kayclay

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Minneapolis
Hi I was wondering if anyone on here has been agoraphobic for years? I've been agoraphobic for 11 years now since I was 18, I'm 29 now and in those 11 years I have only gone out a few times. I just don't know what to do anymore I cant cope with life and do wish my life away, I feel useless and a burden to society. Whenever I read forums with people with agoraphobia they've either had it a few months or had it for a year or two, it makes me feel so useless I have done nothing with my life and I feel such a burden I don't think I'll ever change now but a part of me does want to, I just cant cope with being outside it makes me feel physically sick and I have thrown up a few times. I take antidepressants but other than that I just feel so useless. It'd just be nice to know thats theres someone out there like me, I doubt it though everyone seems to move on I never have.
I've had agoraphobia as well since I was about 18, I'm now 26. I have been able to leave the house for periods of time, but I 100% understand the depression and hopelessness it brings, along with being a burden to others. I often times feel very guilty for "not being able" to leave the house, which is really a downward spiral of self-loathing.

What I've found helps me the most is taking tiny baby steps. For example, decide that for a week you're just going to spend like 10 minutes hanging out in your kitchen instead of your bedroom, and don't put any pressure on going anywhere else for a whole week. Then pick the next "scariest" place to go, and just hang out there for a few minutes, and essentially work your way up. Brains are wired to adapt, even if your body responds poorly at first. It's all good and normal! Take a step backwards if you need to, and give yourself some space to rest. Let it take weeks or months, or however long you need! This is what I'm currently working on and telling myself. It's so hard. But I won't give up on myself, even when I really, really, really feel like it.

You're fighting a real battle that you were made to fight! I wish you the best!
 
A

Aleexa

New member
Joined
Feb 21, 2019
Messages
1
Location
...
Hi I was wondering if anyone on here has been agoraphobic for years? I've been agoraphobic for 11 years now since I was 18, I'm 29 now and in those 11 years I have only gone out a few times. I just don't know what to do anymore I cant cope with life and do wish my life away, I feel useless and a burden to society. Whenever I read forums with people with agoraphobia they've either had it a few months or had it for a year or two, it makes me feel so useless I have done nothing with my life and I feel such a burden I don't think I'll ever change now but a part of me does want to, I just cant cope with being outside it makes me feel physically sick and I have thrown up a few times. I take antidepressants but other than that I just feel so useless. It'd just be nice to know thats theres someone out there like me, I doubt it though everyone seems to move on I never have.
I’m dealing with agoraphobia since 8 years now,I’m 28 years old...and like you I've never had a job, lived on my own, I live with my mom, I have a sister judging me every time...i’m Feel so ashamed of myself...I want to travel but even going to the doctor is hard for me...
 
D

DannyMc

New member
Joined
Sep 29, 2019
Messages
1
Location
Liverpool
Im in the same boat i have suffered with it from the age of 16 im now 28 and have no idea what im doing with my life. Im stuck and feel like theres no way to be normal im so depressed i dont want to live anymore
 
Coreen

Coreen

Well-known member
Joined
Sep 17, 2019
Messages
490
Location
US
@DannyMc, sorry you're going through that. I hope you have people you can talk to. Keep reaching out to family, medical professionals and the forum. There's hope.

I suffer from a bit of agoraphobia myself. I don't like to leave the house. I struggle to make it to doctor appointments. I have canceled many and refuse to go to some. I've had this issue for the past couple of years. Within that time, I have left my house 3 times for non-medical reasons. It's just very hard. I have a GP appointment scheduled this Tuesday. I'm thinking of canceling already.
 
K

kayclay

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Minneapolis
Im in the same boat i have suffered with it from the age of 16 im now 28 and have no idea what im doing with my life. Im stuck and feel like theres no way to be normal im so depressed i dont want to live anymore
I know how much of a struggle this is! The thing you have to know is that agoraphobia is 100% treatable, ALWAYS. In my case, in your case, and in everyone's case. There is so much hope in that! The trick is that the agoraphobia itself makes you believe that you may never get better. Don't believe it!! I have started doing a lot of exposure therapy over the last few months, and I am now a walking advertisement that agoraphobia can be treated. In January of this year, I was afraid of leaving my bedroom. Today, I drove to work (about 25 minutes) by myself and was just fine. And I can work all day! YOU CAN DO IT TOO!! Honestly. Don't give into the idea that your anxiety/agoraphobia is worse than others'. The more you read people's stories, the more you realize we're all really in the same boat. You really, really, really, really can do this. I promise. Look into exposure therapy, and I also highly recommend the podcast "That Anxiety Guy". That's where most of my practical help has come from.

I wish you the best!!
 
P

Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,117
Location
England. Derbyshire
Hello kayclay,
Are you on any medication at all?

I can only go to appointments and I too cancel them sometimes.
Or don’t even make one when I know I should.
I can only go from my front door to the car.
My husband takes me.

We have our shopping delivered as my husband is disabled.
This makes me feel dreadful, useless and a burden.

I can’t see a way out but I am so pleased you have managed
to overcome this and found a way past it..
 
K

kayclay

Member
Joined
Feb 17, 2019
Messages
17
Location
Minneapolis
@Pollypop I'm not and have never been on medication. I heard in a podcast that I listen to that medication does not cure anxiety, only eases our symptoms, which is actually what we are afraid of and need to work through. If you mask your symptoms, you will always be afraid of having them, and never get over them (obviously consult with your doctor/psychologist before changing anything about your medication).

It's all about taking baby steps in the right direction. You don't have to get up tomorrow and jump on a plane across the world to get through this. If you can only go from your front door to your car now, try adding a tiny step. Maybe that's just sitting in your car for 5-10 minutes and thinking about where you might want to go if you weren't so anxious. Then do that over and over and over until you're not anxious doing it. Then move "up the ladder" to the next thing. Maybe that's driving the car around your block every day until that doesn't make you anxious anymore. That's exactly what I did, and it WORKED. We're afraid of our anxiety, so we have to experience some anxiety to get through it. And it doesn't take as long as you might guess.

I mentioned this before, but I highly recommend the That Anxiety Guy podcast. I know how it feels to not be able to see a way out, but I promise, promise, promise you that there is one, and it's so attainable for you. You CAN overcome this!
 
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Pollypop

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 23, 2015
Messages
1,117
Location
England. Derbyshire
Kayclay, thank you so much for all this information.
I really appreciate it and am going to start trying some
of the things you have suggested.
 
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