Agoraphobia

C

change

Active member
Joined
Jan 15, 2019
Messages
27
#1
It's gotten bad, again.

Chronic childhood trauma led to complex ptsd, and for awhile, I had a pretty good bout in recovery.

But here lately I've completely fizzled out. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to interact with anybody.

2 years ago, I spent a year not leaving my house. This is the beginning of another episode similar to that. I make appointments, and cancel them or just don't show up. I was doing alright. It's just gotten bad again. I've made friends, and one of them makes it a point to always go out to eat when I tell her it's getting hard to leave the house. So there's no way I'm going to tell anyone. I just can't handle it. I get this feeling like I'm embarrassed to be alive when I'm around other people.

My hot water quit working so now I've got to interact with the apartments maintenance system. I have to talk to them and let them in my house. The stress of this has ruined the whole day for me. I cried over it.

I really have no reason to be this way. My backstory's tragic, but it's a backstory. It's not the present moment. Everything's beyond easy in the present moment, or at least, would be if I was anyone else. I am completely overwhelmed.

I feel like I've tried every thing I possibly could to not end up this way again, and here I am,bawling like a baby over non-problems, living a very pampered and cared for existence, and unable to open up to anyone.
 
Victorianna

Victorianna

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
715
Location
California, USA
#2
It's gotten bad, again.

Chronic childhood trauma led to complex ptsd, and for awhile, I had a pretty good bout in recovery.

But here lately I've completely fizzled out. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to interact with anybody.

2 years ago, I spent a year not leaving my house. This is the beginning of another episode similar to that. I make appointments, and cancel them or just don't show up. I was doing alright. It's just gotten bad again. I've made friends, and one of them makes it a point to always go out to eat when I tell her it's getting hard to leave the house. So there's no way I'm going to tell anyone. I just can't handle it. I get this feeling like I'm embarrassed to be alive when I'm around other people.

My hot water quit working so now I've got to interact with the apartments maintenance system. I have to talk to them and let them in my house. The stress of this has ruined the whole day for me. I cried over it.

I really have no reason to be this way. My backstory's tragic, but it's a backstory. It's not the present moment. Everything's beyond easy in the present moment, or at least, would be if I was anyone else. I am completely overwhelmed.

I feel like I've tried every thing I possibly could to not end up this way again, and here I am,bawling like a baby over non-problems, living a very pampered and cared for existence, and unable to open up to anyone.
I’m so sorry. I deal with this, too. It’s very tough when you think you have it under control, and it comes back. What helped you last time to overcome it?
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
x3n Phobia Forum 5

Similar threads