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After the fire




it was after the fire i heard from my mam my dad had begun to drink ,
not just at the pub ,but at home as well .my fault of course ,another far reaching touch from the young anti christ ,,mam didnt contact me very
often but it was always bad news ,,i deserve of course ,more payment
for my sins ,as the years went by she told me how he was womanising
and boozing more ,how he had never given her money when i was a kid ,saying thats why she never bought me anything ,ahh well at least im clear of blame for that one ,,then out of the blue ,around 15 years ago
she wrote me to tell he had left her ,how the strain of losing everything in the fire ,had pushed him over the edge ,and hed gone off with someone i used to go to school with ,,ok why didnt she just come over and shoot me dead ,lets be done with this ,,few mounths later shes rang my wife telling her about my fathers indescrestions ,,ok so then my wife then gets it into her head that because my dad had left my mam after all those years i was going to do the same ,this made her very in secure and we had a rough year
but it passed and she came to know that i had always been true and that it would always be that way. but here you can see why i will never be free of that fateful night because i do still get letters not from my mother but from other relatives and they alway glady remind me of who i am and what i did ,,thanks for letting me dump it here its helped
so you see the fire has never gone out it still smoulders ,,,,,,thanks
for listening hugsxx


Well-known member
Oct 20, 2009

I belive that you regret what happened regarding the fire, I have read your other stuff, you did not intend to burn the house down.

But it also sounds that you are not the only one to blame for the tensions before and after that event, and should not be blamed, or blame yourself for those things that were not of your doing.

I dont know how you can feel that you can ever make up for what happend, it is done, you cannot be expected to take it back, for those that you feel for you could try and make up for what 'you' are responceable for, if it is rejected there is realy little you can do.

Take care .. boB ........ :flowers: