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Afraid of seeking help

F

Fire

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Uk
Hi all, I am new on the forum.

I could really do with some professional help, as I seem to tick all the boxes to be here. But by doing so I would receive a formal diagnosis, which would mean having to carry that as well around.
I am worried about the impact it would have on the costs for car insurance for example. Because then you have to declare it.
Has anyone had experiences about this, please?
And also, how did you tell your family about your diagnosis?

Wish you all a good night xxx
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
600
Location
Uk
Hey.
I dont know about car insurance as I dont drive, but I cant see why it would be an issue.

As for telling my family, I pick and choose who I tell. Mostly, my family take the diagnosis with a pinch of salt. It means nothing to them. They know who I am, and know how I am. I'm no different now that I have the diagnosis.

Having the diagnosis for me meant that I could get the correct treatment and support.
 
F

Fire

New member
Joined
Nov 10, 2019
Messages
3
Location
Uk
Hi confusedandanxious, thanks for taking the time to reply :)

Because you should declare it, and I am not sure if that would increase the price. I remember reading about a lady with depression who had to pay more for her travel insurance due to the risks that the disease has. We talk about reducing stigma, but then we witness this...

I feel like I can't keep my mental health issues a secret anymore with my family, but also I don't want them to worry since we live in different countries.
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
600
Location
Uk
Hi confusedandanxious, thanks for taking the time to reply :)

Because you should declare it, and I am not sure if that would increase the price. I remember reading about a lady with depression who had to pay more for her travel insurance due to the risks that the disease has. We talk about reducing stigma, but then we witness this...

I feel like I can't keep my mental health issues a secret anymore with my family, but also I don't want them to worry since we live in different countries.
No way! That is ridiculous that her insurance went up due to depression!
Hopefully somebody who does drive can give a little more insight into that side of things for you.

With your family, maybe just tell them how you're feeling and that you're considering seeking professional help. Their support, even if only over the phone could be a massive help for you!
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
532
Location
Scotland
I would think the insurance premiums might increase in line with periods of inpatient treatment as this is an indicator of the serious nature of the condition. BPD is a worrying condition with people prone to self harm and suicide attempts, hospital admissions are usually around crisis intervention
and are not usually long term. It is mostly about patterns of learned behaviour and responses which need to be diverted into more healthy models in my opinion. This contrasts with biological illness such as schizophrenia in my opinion. Having said that how shocking is it going to be for your family if something happens and they hear about this for the first time when you are in hospital? Tell them.
 
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Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
977
Location
Norfolk
Hi all, I am new on the forum.

I could really do with some professional help, as I seem to tick all the boxes to be here. But by doing so I would receive a formal diagnosis, which would mean having to carry that as well around.
I am worried about the impact it would have on the costs for car insurance for example. Because then you have to declare it.
Has anyone had experiences about this, please?
And also, how did you tell your family about your diagnosis?

Wish you all a good night xxx
First and foremost you don’t even know if it’s BPD you are suffering from. You may well have some BPD traits but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have BPD. Even if you have, there is no stigma attached. It is an illness like any other. We simply have an inability to regulate our emotions.
As for how to tell family members, once you know you have it (if), simply tell them. For one thing it’s around 60% genetic so it’s possible others in the family may suffer and it’s not a life sentence either. You can learn to regulate your emotions through therapy. Usually Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is best. Also there’s a lot of self help material on the Internet.
 
Lunus

Lunus

Well-known member
Joined
May 20, 2019
Messages
977
Location
Norfolk
Hi all, I am new on the forum.

I could really do with some professional help, as I seem to tick all the boxes to be here. But by doing so I would receive a formal diagnosis, which would mean having to carry that as well around.
I am worried about the impact it would have on the costs for car insurance for example. Because then you have to declare it.
Has anyone had experiences about this, please?
And also, how did you tell your family about your diagnosis?

Wish you all a good night xxx
And to my knowledge you do not have to declare you have BPD to anyone.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,310
Bpd doesn’t affect your driving. The only reason you have to reveal an illness is if it would have some impact on you regularly going about your life. Bpd does not affect motor skills. You are not obligated to tell anyone outside of your therapist, and they are bound by confidentiality. The only time they can divulge anything is if you are a credible threat to yourself or others.

bpd is not the boogeyman. It’s often the result of childhood trauma. You are a survivor.
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
532
Location
Scotland
Bpd doesn’t affect your driving. The only reason you have to reveal an illness is if it would have some impact on you regularly going about your life. Bpd does not affect motor skills. You are not obligated to tell anyone outside of your therapist, and they are bound by confidentiality. The only time they can divulge anything is if you are a credible threat to yourself or others.

bpd is not the boogeyman. It’s often the result of childhood trauma. You are a survivor.
Oh I think it would - it leaves people unpredictable, prone to impulsive acts, drug taking, drink driving etc! All of this is in my opinion.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
532
Location
Scotland
First and foremost you don’t even know if it’s BPD you are suffering from. You may well have some BPD traits but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have BPD. Even if you have, there is no stigma attached. It is an illness like any other. We simply have an inability to regulate our emotions.
As for how to tell family members, once you know you have it (if), simply tell them. For one thing it’s around 60% genetic so it’s possible others in the family may suffer and it’s not a life sentence either. You can learn to regulate your emotions through therapy. Usually Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) is best. Also there’s a lot of self help material on the Internet.
It is not genetic. Very sorry but that is not so. It is often the result of observed childhood trauma/experienced childhood trauma. People learn a way of coping which is maladaptive. They need to adjust this.
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,310
Oh I think it would - it leaves people unpredictable, prone to impulsive acts, drug taking, drink driving etc!
You are confusing addiction with bpd.

Bpd doesn't make you drink or use drugs.
 
W

Worriedyin

Well-known member
Joined
Oct 2, 2019
Messages
193
Location
UK
Hi Fire.

I'm on a one year medical review driving license due to my MH but it hasn't affected insurance premiums.

However I do have to pay out for travel insurance that covers pre-existing conditions and I'm struggling to get life insurance. I need a form filled in by my doctor for the insurance company to review and haven't found out if I can get cover yet. It's not even about paying more, it's hard to find anyone who will cover at all.

So your worries aren't wrong.

But you should weigh up the benefits of getting treatment with the downsides of being diagnosed. I needed to be on medication to get well again. So it was a no brainer.
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
532
Location
Scotland
You are confusing addiction with bpd.

Bpd doesn't make you drink or use drugs.
No I am not. I have been around many many people with Borderline Personality Disorder. The vast majority of people admitted for crisis care are under the influence of drink and/or drugs. They are generally dual diagnosis. Addiction is an issue though as patients cannot cope with life and their emotions. Thus the tendency to unpredictable acts - suicide attempts, drink driving etc
 
G

Girl interupted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 17, 2018
Messages
1,310
No I am not. I have been around many many people with Borderline Personality Disorder. The vast majority of people admitted for crisis care are under the influence of drink and/or drugs. They are generally dual diagnosis. Addiction is an issue though as patients cannot cope with life and their emotions. Thus the tendency to unpredictable acts - suicide attempts, drink driving etc

Do you have bpd? Or are you just generalizing?
 
C

celticlass

Well-known member
Joined
May 7, 2011
Messages
532
Location
Scotland
Let me see now. Oh I have arranged their care in the community, counselled them. sat in on medical discussions about them. talked endlessly on the phone. walked into bad situations in the middle of the night.helped pin someone to the floor with her mother helping ( because if we did not she was going to leave the flat and put herself into the river 2 minutes away) as a Mental Health Officer - we had to do this while waiting for the Medical team to arrive. Then we detained her for her own safety. But people with BPD are some of the loveliest I met. Highly unstable emotions though unfortunately but they can learn regulation.
 
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