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Afraid of pain!!!

S

SelfRespect

Well-known member
Joined
Jun 18, 2014
Messages
82
Not exactly sh but an oddity.

From the shoulders of both arms to both wrists I have only scar tissue, no real skin exists anymore and they are also deformed from 32 years of sh, yeah I'm a mature self harmer. The teenage me never left as far as sh is concerned.

The thing is I have decided to get a nose stud again, I had one in my late teens, must be a midlife crisis :) I don't have a body piercing place within 30 miles of me so it's a DIY job. I bought some sterile piercing needles and a stud and now I'm afraid of the pain it might cause!!! All those years of wanting physical pain to ease psychological pain, I'm struggling to do a simple thing of piercing my nose!!!

I guess that when self harming I'm usually in a state of distress and at this moment in time I'm not in too much distress. It just strikes me as odd that pain can be so wonderfully releasing and then scary as hell.

AG
 
Soul_Deeps

Soul_Deeps

Well-known member
Joined
Aug 31, 2017
Messages
189
Location
Germany
Yea, I know what you mean. I think this time the physical pain is just a by product of what you want to do, but when you selfharm you do it for the sake of feeling that pain, it is a different focus.
 
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