• Welcome! It’s great to see you. Our forum members are people, maybe like yourself, who experience mental health difficulties or who have had them at some point in their life.

    If you'd like to talk with people who know what it's like

afraid of being murdered

B

bambimbam

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Romania
i just wanted to let you guys no i have not been diagnosed. but i have no one to talk to so i would really appreciate if you could let me know if my fear is valid or if this is all a phobia and it's not normal. So, i used to go on gorey websites when i was younger. I'm very disappointed i did so. My cousin always went with me. But he never stopped. I don't know this for sure vut i genuinely think he enjoys going on the websites. We also fight a lot. I've done and said really horrible things to him. He did to me. But when i visited him today he brought up everything i've done that upset him. Which is absolutely valid and i completely understand. I've apologised so many times, i told him that i would do anything to fix what i've done. I know words don't fix anything. It's just the fact that he resents me for everything but i don't. It's really frustrating because he NEVER apologised for anything HE did. He does not have to forgive me, he can also hate me. But he will never acknowledge his part in why we ever fought. He is a very resentful person. So this is where my whole fear even started: If he is so resentful and so obsessed with gore, what if he plans on doing something to me or my family members? Is this selfish to think about because if it is i will try to stop thinking about it. Also he introduced me to his friend who apparently "likes" me and wants to get to know me better but what if this is just a plan to make me feel comfortable enough around them to kill me? My cousin always brings him up and uplifts his friend every cahnce he gets. This is probably normal but thinking it comes from him i don't know how to feel. He is also manipulative and has been since he was a baby. He has lived through hard times. But okay, here is my question: Is my fear valid? Should i avoid him and his friend at all costs? Or is this fear ridiculous and i'm overthinking all of this. Cause i once visted him and when his mom offered me pie and juice, i refused because i genuinely thought it was gonna be poisoined. It wasn't because a friend ate from it and nothing happened. So yeah...thanks for reading my story.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
4,026
Location
England
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am very sorry you are having this distressing worry. I think having an interest in the darker side of things can just be an interest and it would not mean a person would act on those darker things. I have a friend who is always watching crime stories but I know she would not commit a crime. If you have this fear about your cousin then would it be better not to visit them any more?
 
E

Elisante

Taking a break
Joined
May 16, 2020
Messages
847
Location
Greece
I know how you feel. There have been many times that I was seriously worrying I'm gonna get murdered by people. I sometimes (not very often tbh) watch documentaries on killers and it horrifies me when I see similarities between them and people I know. You may be overthinking things but honestly, is your life something you're willing to risk? You don't seem to get along anyway so I would advice you to cut ties with them. Better safe than sorry.
 
B

bambimbam

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Romania
I know how you feel. There have been many times that I was seriously worrying I'm gonna get murdered by people. I sometimes (not very often tbh) watch documentaries on killers and it horrifies me when I see similarities between them and people I know. You may be overthinking things but honestly, is your life something you're willing to risk? You don't seem to get along anyway so I would advice you to cut ties with them. Better safe than sorry.
thank you for responding. i also make connections after watching documentaries. that's why i stopped watching altogether. i would like to cut ties. i think i will. i dont know why but i feel bad for thinking about not talking to him. idk i feel kind of trapped?
 
B

bambimbam

Member
Joined
Aug 4, 2020
Messages
8
Location
Romania
Hello and welcome to the forum. I am very sorry you are having this distressing worry. I think having an interest in the darker side of things can just be an interest and it would not mean a person would act on those darker things. I have a friend who is always watching crime stories but I know she would not commit a crime. If you have this fear about your cousin then would it be better not to visit them any more?
yes i think i will stop visiting him. i feel kind of bad tho. idk why.
 
bpd2020

bpd2020

Well-known member
Joined
May 25, 2020
Messages
4,026
Location
England
yes i think i will stop visiting him. i feel kind of bad tho. idk why.
It is hard to stop visiting somebody. It can make us feel guilt or feel sorry for them. I think it is important you put your needs first and if not visiting will help then it sounds like the right choice.
 
Top