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TimThompson

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
6
Hi all.

I post this in the depression forum, but to tell the truth I'm not really sure what I've 'got'. Rather I was hoping that perhaps someone might recognise what I am talking about.

For a long time, but getting worse, I have felt tired. Physicaly and mentaly.
I spend a lot of time just staring into space, not thinking at all, and this is getting to a point where it is really disrupting my work and home life. I expect to be fired from my job eventually because of sitting inactive instead of working, or waking up in the morning and sitting on the floor for hours instead of going to work, but so far I have been able to make it not obvius.
At the same time, I have trouble thinking clearly, reading, and planning.
Last year, I did think about suicide quite a lot, and after a bad road accident, this became really obsessive. However, now I don't feel motivated enough to do anything like that.
Some days I feel a bit better, and try to give my life more foccus by dating, volunteering, or evening classes. But when things get worse, although I keep doing them through a sort of momentum, I don't feel like I'm really there.

Today is a bad day. I feel like I'm drunk and have done all day, although I don't drink. I keep forgetting things and dropping things.

Anyone experienced something similar?
 
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TimThompson

Member
Joined
Feb 11, 2010
Messages
6
Sorry to reply to my own thread, however I hope this may help someone in a similar situation.

Today is a good day - I feel essentially normal, and I've used the time to do some research. Take the following with a pinch of salt, as I do not have a medical background.

I believe that my problem may be caused by under function of the dopamine system. I will seek dopamine reuptake inhibitors (DRIs), sometimes perscribed as a smoking cessation aid, antidepressant, or antiphycotic.

The dopamine system does a fair few things, including motivation, movement planning, wakefulness. Its proper function may also effect how the brain deals with interesting/boring situations, effecting how well we concentrate, and our need for displacement activities.

I began to suspect this system when I was looking into any possible assosiation with my chronic nail biting, maybe smoking, and tendency to obsessivly repeat behaviurs to check for changes (not in a way others would notice). DRIs are often used as a treatment for addictive behaviure and OCD, so I looked into the mechanisms by which they work.

As I looked at syptoms assosiated with underfunction of the dopamine system, I noticed many of the things I described in my previus post, as well as a lot of behaviurs that I exibit.

Why is my dopamine system a bit broke (if it is)?
Maybe it always has been - I was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid, and in hindsight I would certainly agree with that diagnosis. Ritalin, an antiphycotic, is basicly a DRI.
My life situation, although in some ways enviable, is in other was not so good, so I can see how my brain chemistry might end up settling in an unhealthy place.
However critical I suspect is the general anasthetic I recieved to undergo plastic surgery after a major accident. It is hard to differentiate the effects of that drug, morphine withdrawal, and some PTSD type symtoms(flashbacks, irrational fears, but nothing out of the ordinary for the situation) in the immediate aftermath.
However, the intense waves of tiredness, oscilations between massive purposfulness and obsession with suicide, and dellusions would suggest to me that the dopamine system was effected.

I will in the next few weeks aquire DRI either as a stop smoking perscription, antidepressant, or aheh buy online.
Will report back on whether it has a positive effect.

Tim
 
rollinat

rollinat

Well-known member
Founding Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
1,816
Some of the symptoms you described sound pretty familiar to me. I don't know if you have discussed how you have been feeling with your doctor? Might be somewhere to start if it is having a serious impact on your life. It sounds like you've had a hard time recovering from your accident, so maybe you've already gone down that route.

Are you in the UK? I ask because I don't think there are many DRIs prescribed for depression in the UK, but are for smoking cessation. I do take a DRI now (bupropion) and I believe it has helped me, having tried various other ADs over the last couple of years. Not sure I would want to buy any drugs online and diagnose myself, though.

Welcome to the forum, btw, and let us know how you get on.
 
SimonB

SimonB

Well-known member
Joined
Feb 10, 2010
Messages
938
Location
United Kingdom
Some important things to consider...

Hi Tim,

I just wanted to to challenge your self diagnosis. You clearly have a big history ADHD and then a serious RTA.

I don't want to ask you anything more as that would be confidential. If you had a head injury as part of your traumatic experience they may account for changes in mood and behaviour. It could be a matter of dopamine, which if you know the physiology is one of the mechanisms of the nervous system. You also mentioned PTSD, which it could also be, this doesn't exclude other causes mental health problems or organic pathways.

The anaesthitic drugs given for surgery generally are not known to have such side effects.

Please see your doc...please??

(y)
 
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