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Advice

W

wanttobehappyy

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2021
Messages
3
Location
nevermind
I'm at my 30's, I suffer from IBS my entire life due to lots of stress, and I have a monster mother. I have been under mental abuse for 17 years now.

She offends me anytime she can about my stomach issues, singing songs, making noises to mock me, it has no end. I never replied her back because I know that I can't stop having IBS, I never know how to handle it, I just froze at place each time she mocks me. And I don't want to reply back, because she likes to see me upset. She enjoys when I suffer and feel sad.

She has serve depression but that doesn't mean that she has to abuse me, I never did anything to her.


There was some years I didn't speak to hear because she mocked me so bad I ended up hurting my health. When I did came back and talk to her, the abuse even got worsen, sadly enough I never could live in another house. The abuse went continuously for 17 years until these days.


Latley I had to edit one video (I'm vegan) and she used the video in order to attack my morailty because the speaker said she sometimes eat eggs. Before some days she went after me with this topic, I never replied her back to all of her evil words, but this time I couldn't, she called me hypocritical for editing this video where the speaker said she eats eggs from time to time. Then I stood, pointed my finger at her and with a voice a bit louder, I told: You! you're the hypocritical one for eating animals, how dare you even to say a word about me. And inside my heart I said you're the hypocritical for abusing me so much without even anyone else noticing that.

My sister that I niether can't trust and she also used to abuse me, told my mother that she did offened me many time, then my mother denied everything. I heard her screaming that if she could she will kick me out of this house, even though I pay my fair share.

She will want me to apolozie, but guys, I spoke the true. She acts all kind to the other family members, I really don't know what to do. I mean if she will come to me, what can I even say?

I forgave her once but then she abused me even more, I can't control my serve IBS issues. That's her enteral card against me.

I do love her but hate her on the very same time... I feel so alone in this world. At the moment part of me do want to talk with her again, I feel bad that this is the mother I have, but I know that once that we will talk again the abuse will return. And all this time I can only feel guilt...
 
D

Daringdan

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
293
Location
Louisville, Ky
This seems like a rough situation. Sorry for what you're going through. Seems like you should limit your interactions to short manageable stints of time so you can tend to any emotional wounds that might incur.
 
W

wanttobehappyy

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2021
Messages
3
Location
nevermind
This seems like a rough situation. Sorry for what you're going through. Seems like you should limit your interactions to short manageable stints of time so you can tend to any emotional wounds that might incur.
Thanks for not ignoring me. I have no one to speak to about my situation and I feel so lonley. For almost a week now I don't talk to her, I'm afraid that once I will the abuse will return. There is one thing that I don't understand, she make it as if she is 'there' for me and taking care for all of my needs, well yes she makes food and invite me to eat, or wash my clothes, (I did care for her when she was sick one month ago, I do cook for her as well) but it seems that the humilation mode is always there on her mind 25-7 no matter what, for example when it comes to food she will try to humilate me and she will have to say it out loud to make sure that I hear it, so I can't understand how she can say that she loves me and taking care to me when all on her mind is to offend me? Can it be that she has some kind of mental issue? But on the other hand she don't do that to any other family member...
 
D

Daringdan

Well-known member
Joined
May 8, 2020
Messages
293
Location
Louisville, Ky
Thanks for not ignoring me. I have no one to speak to about my situation and I feel so lonley. For almost a week now I don't talk to her, I'm afraid that once I will the abuse will return. There is one thing that I don't understand, she make it as if she is 'there' for me and taking care for all of my needs, well yes she makes food and invite me to eat, or wash my clothes, (I did care for her when she was sick one month ago, I do cook for her as well) but it seems that the humilation mode is always there on her mind 25-7 no matter what, for example when it comes to food she will try to humilate me and she will have to say it out loud to make sure that I hear it, so I can't understand how she can say that she loves me and taking care to me when all on her mind is to offend me? Can it be that she has some kind of mental issue? But on the other hand she don't do that to any other family member...
Humiliation and mockery can always make you feel like you have fresh wounds with each new occasion. When I have to deal with stuff like that I think to myself that I wish I could get used to it but it's painful each time.
Is there anyway you can live else where so you can get out from under the abuse? If you must stay in that environment then let me encourage you to keep reaching out to people who can send you some love.
I hope by me chatting with you that you feel less lonely. You don't deserve to be ill treated but to be loved.
She might have a mental issue in any case you can return her meanness with love and understanding.
 
W

wanttobehappyy

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2021
Messages
3
Location
nevermind
Humiliation and mockery can always make you feel like you have fresh wounds with each new occasion. When I have to deal with stuff like that I think to myself that I wish I could get used to it but it's painful each time.
Is there anyway you can live else where so you can get out from under the abuse? If you must stay in that environment then let me encourage you to keep reaching out to people who can send you some love.
I hope by me chatting with you that you feel less lonely. You don't deserve to be ill treated but to be loved.
She might have a mental issue in any case you can return her meanness with love and understanding.
Thanks you're the first person that bother to reply me, apperciated a lot. Sadly due to my Ibs issues I never managed to have friends for long term, and I can't move in to another place.

During my teenage years those Ibs issues made it hard for me at school, I "caused" her a lot of troubles, where she had to come to schools and speak with the adivsors, but I didn't make anything on purpose, I just didn't feel well, and also on my teenage years I got bullied by others due to my stomach issues. Sometimes I think if this is the reason she alwyas hated me...

These days she is sure that I must apolozie to her, because after all she raised me and took care but all that came with serve emotcional abuse, passive-aggresive, she is an abuser, and what if I don't want to apolize? I called her hypocritical because that's what she is that's the only word I told her. I know that speaking with her again will put things more "clamly" as for there is more bad vibe now. I don't know if to confrot her, telling her if you want to talk with me again, keep all your crazy way of speaking out of the conversation and by that I mean that whenever she can she will say: I can't eat these stuff because it gives me gas, I won't cook this because it will give her (the other sister) stomach issues, or being with me she will just uses the IBS-words to offend me and she always make sure to speak out load so I will hear that. I never had the courage to tell her to stop with it, she is sadistic woman, sadly.
 
P

prsn

Active member
Joined
Feb 16, 2021
Messages
42
Location
England
Hi W,
Ibs is a really difficult issue, have you managed to get any medical help for it as a sufferer myself I know some medicines really help.
atb P
 
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