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Oct 29, 2019

Have been diagnosed with bipolar since 21 which now is 20 years ago.

I have just had my 5th non consecutive 3 month episode and I cannot tell you have annoyed I am. It's the usual stuff in some ways, in that it's been hard on my family, I wish it wasn't there etc. At least this time I didn't spend any time in a mental hospital. Everyone was glad for that.

I'm at a point where I don't know what to do. I'm at a uni in Manchester that is the 3rd best in the world for nursing and I'm into my second year, just about made the grade. The thing is now, everything feels different. Majorly. I'm not sure if I'll get this across but I will try.

I think I've been on the wrong medication for the past 20 years. That is a hell of a statement.

I believe I've been working (bipolar episode or not) in a bubble. Essentially at 70 - 80% effectiveness as a person.

Since this last event has happened all I feel I have literally "woken up".

I notice the small things in life and just feel so different.

I wonder why?

Is it a change of meds going to rispiridone, the fact that I am more older now than before?

I just feel a sense of clarity and it is freaking me out (both happily and unhappily as I wish it would have happened years sooner). What am I supposed to do? Just be greatful that I'm 100% on now? It's as much of an answer as I can come up with.

What do you guys think. Has this sense of clarity ever happened to you?

I would love to know as I am stumped (as well as is my psychiatrist).

All the best, ste.


Well-known member
May 14, 2019
A galaxy, far far away..
I've no direct experience to relate, but I'm very glad you're feeling better. Enjoy!
And :welcome: to the forum.


Well-known member
Jan 27, 2019
Welcome to the forum ste20man. That is TERRIFIC you found clarity. I always hope my body would wake up again and respond to life. Just be Thankful and I am so happy for you. You give me hope. Hugs Jules