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advice

L

lucy1

New member
Joined
Oct 27, 2019
Messages
2
Location
uk
hi all this is my first post , I suffer with social anxiety and from what I can gather is body dismophia ,I constantly feel ugly to the outside world it destroys me it takes me hours to get ready to go out as everything has to look perfect but it takes one look at my reflection or glance in mirror to send me home or depressed , in the past I've had remarks or stares for god no reasons and thats shattered me so I developed paranoiar , it stems from my past suffering mental abuse ex partner etc and amongst other things but I can't take people no more I just feel like this is not living I can't work I can't go to the gym I don't have no friends I have a partner and child and sometimes feel like its so not fair on them the way I am , I take care of my self always dress nice and hair nice but soon as leave my house thats it im a changed person I have to put my head down try not look at people fearing remarks , I have anxiety with everything in life I even have weather anxiety if its to windy my hair will blow and then make me look even uglier or rain will make me look ugly if wet so I only go out if dry calm weather like this is not right to me I've had over the years lots therapy nothing works im waiting again for more been a year now and I read books to help and I try battle this every day but some days I just think right today im never go outside again because it is all to much for me im not strong enough to deal with people , any advice welcome or anyone similar ?
 
Confusedandanxious

Confusedandanxious

Well-known member
Joined
May 5, 2019
Messages
612
Location
Uk
Hi Lucy.
Anxiety is the biggest bitch ever.
I can relate to a lot of what you say, but I am on the opposite scale. I tend to dress the same way over and over out of fear of remarks that I'm trying too hard or what have you. If I look the same, they cant comment. Apart from on the fact I wear the same thing all of the time lol which strangely doesnt cause much anxiety knowing that they will think that! I know I dont always wear the same jeans lol.

What has helped me, not massively, but a little bit here and there is by going against myself.
Baby steps. Put rubbish in the bin without make up on until you are comfortable doing it. Then maybe go to the corner shop without it on.
Maybe not the make up, maybe without your hair being done.
Pick one thing that causes you issues and take those baby steps.

I can now leave the house with tracksuit bottoms on instead of jeans, where as before I wouldnt dare. I still couldnt go shopping or for a day out without wearing jeans, but I can go into the garden, or walk the dogs.

I cant wear make up for the same reasons. My ex would comment that I was wearing it to impress others, which resulted in me no longer wearing it. Now I feel if I put it on people will think I'm trying to impress someone.
 
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