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Advice (SH)

Gledge

Gledge

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Mar 11, 2011
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695
Argh I keep trying to start a thread, but my thoughts will wonder or I'll just chicken out.

I keep wasting days where I'll just sit in my room feeling weak and worthless. I saw a counsellor once, about a month or so ago but never followed anything up. Since then I've started self harming too. Nothing too severe but it's starting to become more frequent.

I know I need to just go back, but I thought I'd got on top of everything and pulled it back. Now i'm back to square one and feel like I'm just messing everyone around. So here I am doing nothing, but knowing full well what I should be doing. So after that pointless rant, I suppose my question is this:

What do you guys do to boot yourself in to action and seek out help, when you're feeling low?
 
ali

ali

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i think of my children... how they need me and how much i want to do with my life.. when i get really low i have to remind my self that tommorrow is another day and people all over the world are needlessly dieing and i say to myself how dare you feel sorry for yourself. get your act together and sort it ........life is terribly short gledge take control of yours and follow your dreams

good luck luv

xx
 
Gledge

Gledge

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Thanks for replying so quickly. Yeah I know I'm really in a privileged situation, just looking at the posts on the forum illustrates how trivial my worries are. But that ultimately feeds the self loathing more. I never used to be this weak. I just don't know where I went wrong. But then these thoughts of self pitty makes me so angry I just want to beat some sense in to myself. It's so difficult to hold a train of thought sometimes.
 
ali

ali

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tell me about it..... what i said wasnt directed at you luvvy. your worries are never trivial, no ones are. if they were trivial you wouldnt be worried would you ? you are not weak, your ill . dont hate yourself your are a miracle. have you made a plan for tommorrow to help your current situation?

xx
 
delatext

delatext

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when your so low, friends or family count, those that truly care about you, no matter what I hope you have some one, I really know how you feel I'm like that just now, post here and talk it does help I hope it gets a little better for you
 
ali

ali

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that is why i love this forum. there is always someone who understands..... how are you delatext ?
xx
 
Gledge

Gledge

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Yeah I'm starting to learn that. The fact that this place seemed so friendly drew me in in the first place. Talking to my parents seems so daunting right now. I know it's something I should do, and I know they'll want to help. However my mother's neurotic enough as it is, so I'd like to try seeking support elsewhere. Furthermore she's had so much family issues to deal with over the last 13 years I don't want to add to it.

So on to friends. I don't know what's them and what's me right now. I act all jovial in their company, so I think they assume I'm just being too laid back and slacking off. Which okay is my own fault. But then there was a girl last year who was suffering and they basically concluded that she was being juvinile and paranoid and therefore as sad as it was they gradually excluded her. I feel like I'm becoming like her so need to act normal so that doesn't happen to me.

So for now, you guys are stuck with my ramblings. Feel free to moderate it out though :p

To answer your question ali, I'll try ringing student counselling in the morning for a drop in session. Not sure what It'll achieve but I guess it'll be better than sitting in my room drinking myself silly while the world goes by.
 
Gledge

Gledge

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Probably a bit too negative about my friends there. I know they have their own problems to deal with, plus they're not counsellors, they're not going to know how to react even if I told them. With regards to the friend I mentioned, I know they wanted to help at first, but when she got argumentative they gave up. I'm sure it's to protect themselves more than anything.
 
W

WhiteRose

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Mar 12, 2011
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You should definitely ring up for counselling - that's a positive step in the right direction. Drinking is the worst thing you can do, because alcohol is a depressive and, if you're down to start with, you certainly don't need anything to make you feel worse.

Lots of people just don't how to react/deal with somebody with MH problems - especially if they've never come across one before. It's like everything else in life, it takes a bit of practice!! And they probably don't understand the problem and don't know if it's OK to ask questions, or how to phrase the questions.

In a way, it's a bit like when somebody suffers a bereavement - you don't know what to say to them, for fear of making them more upset than they already are, because grief is another of the taboos in our modern society. So sometimes the easiest option is just to ignore them, then you don't have to deal with a potentially difficult situation.

Your friends may or may not be supportive if they knew about your problem but, since you're obviously not yet comfortable about discussing it with them, you're better sticking to talking to a counsellor and coming on here and posting about your feelings, because none of us is going to judge you.
 
Gledge

Gledge

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Thanks for your posts, I apreciate it. Would be wasting your input if I didn't contact student counselling tomorrow morning. So better try and get some sleep. Thanks again.
 
Mayfair

Mayfair

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I spotted something Gledge...

Thanks for replying so quickly. Yeah I know I'm really in a privileged situation, just looking at the posts on the forum illustrates how trivial my worries are. But that ultimately feeds the self loathing more. I never used to be this weak. I just don't know where I went wrong. But then these thoughts of self pitty makes me so angry I just want to beat some sense in to myself. It's so difficult to hold a train of thought sometimes.
If they affect you as they are doing, then they aren't trivial. They are a part of you, and your thoughts. When they affect you so negatively, they most certainly are not trivial.

I think sometimes we can feel guilt for this very reason. It's a bit like a spiral. I think fixing this spiral somehow holds one of the keys to recovery.

:)
 
J

JaymeAnn

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May 11, 2011
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Hello :)

I know that you started this thread awhile ago, but I will tell you what I do. I've always had problems with depression. I used to hurt myself too...it made me feel better. But it's not a good way to deal with things. It doens't help at all in the long run. I've stopped now, but I have a lot of embarrassing scares that I can't seem to make fade even a little bit no matter what cream or ointment I use. So my advice, even though I'm still a pretty mixed up person about a lot of things, is to try to start being more active. Exercise. I don't know why, but when I exercise I don't seem to feel down. Little things don't set me off into that downward spiral like they used to.
Sometimes when I feel myself starting to get in one of my moods, I go hang out in a public place. Even if I'm not with someone, being around people helps.
Another thing I do that helps me is write. Poetry mostly. Journals are nice.
I hope this helps a little.
 
Gledge

Gledge

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Mar 11, 2011
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Hi, thanks for your response. Almost forgot about this thread. Even though I did start it d'oh :p

Yeah Even though the period of self harming was brief, it is quite a surprise how long , what seemed quite small scars, are staying visible. Does depend on my body temp a little. If I've just done some exercise or got out of the shower they show up really red. But hey it's a reminder for next time I feel like doing it eh?

Exercise does make sense in fact when I thought I'd sorted myself out (after the first visit to the counsellor) I was playing a fair bit of squash. Got a nice lift from the endorphines and it wore me out enough that I'd get to sleep a bit earlier. Thing is i wrenched my back and could barely walk for the week after that. Kind of lost the routine and the depression hit pretty hard soon after that.

Am in a bit of a better place at the moment. Feeling quite restless to be honest. Think I might make a serious go of getting back in to my sports. Used to be a junior national champion once upon a time, but that was just over a decade ago. Now I've let the body go a little bit. Time to sort that out I think. They say you need a healthy body and mind. Well since the mind seems to be on its way up why not do something about the body too eh?

Thanks for the input.
 
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