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Advice please *May trigger existential issues please be aware**

M

MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
710
Hi all

I know this isn’t technically related to BPD but I know people in this forum so I feel less anxious about posting it (I hope the admins don’t mind - sorry if you do)

When I was little I spent a lot of time in hospital because I had a lot of illnesses and whilst everyone was really nice to me they scare me. I have to go for a lymph node biopsy tomorrow and I’m scared because my mum died of cancer I’m not scared of death more of getting like weak and frail and having people feel pitty or treat me different.

I have a couple of questions if anyone’s ever had one and doesn’t mind answering.

1 - Does it hurt, I have good pain tolerance but it’s the idea of a needle going into a lymph node goes through me (kind of like anything eyeball related.
2- Will the doctor know straight away from the ultrasound if it looks like anything bad.
3- does it take long?

I mean I’m a little anxious and scared because it’s the hospital but I’m more worried because if it was something bad I think I’d just lose my morality because I wouldn’t care anymore and there’s no purpose to life anyway, I mean I think I’m making that sound easier than it is and I’m sure living a life of helping people it isn’t easy to just go nope I’m gonna do what I want, but that’s my fear because I think about it a lot - I would see it as like not going quietly like you only live once right? When I think about it the only things that would be completely fine are animals because I love them very much 😍 and they are completely innocent and there’s no agenda with them ❤

I don’t know why but I feel like a bad person now - hope everyone is having an okay day 🤗
 
Fairy Lucretia

Fairy Lucretia

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Joined
Apr 9, 2011
Messages
36,741
Location
Magical fairy wonderland xxxx
hi ,i never had anything like that before but my mum had a thyroid biopsy and it didn't hurt ,i think they numb the area first x don't feel bad about caring so much about animals ,i do too
i prefer them to humans sometimes as you say they are innocent with no agenda

please let us know how the biopsy goes ,what time is it? i will think of you and send good vibes your way
love Lu x
 
M

MYTIMEHASCOME

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 12, 2011
Messages
710
Thanks Lu! 🤗 that made me feel much better about the biopsy!

I think I wrote my post wrong I feel bad about like if it was a bad result me change from being nice and helping people to me being bad :( and just going who cares anymore I’m going to do what I want (even though I prob wouldn’t) the only thing I wouldn’t be mean to is animals because I love them 😍😍😍 I can relate to preferring animals they only ever want love they don’t pick and choose when they love us the answer is always 🙌🏻🤗 it’s 3:30 😬 I will do thank youuuu 🤗 hope you have a nice evening - is star feeling even better again? I hope so ❤
 
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